Story time

[placid casual]

"the rale owel dubballin plasterers gaffe wha".
he had, however, forgotten he was barred for crimes to dry-lining and so off he went to his brothers place for 6 cans of dutch gold and a 10 spot of diesel hash. he had a great oul time untill....

[OwlsFan]

the phone rang. It was Paul Dempsey from Setanta wondering where he was as he was supposed to have been in the studio an hour ago. He immediately hopped in to a taxi only to find....

[placid casual]

out the taxi driver,like all taxi drivers in dublin apparently,was a Rovers fan who promptly gave roddy a right good hiding resulting in a trip to the Mater for roddy.who should he meet in A & E only.......

[Block G Raptor]

Martin "The Viper" Foley who was in having a few bullets removed from his chest and one from between his teeth. "Howya Martin" Roddy said "Jaysus you after been shot again !?"
foley just grunted and looked menacingly at Roddy. "ffs Martin how many is that now 17 , 18 times you've been shot, maybe your doing something wrong if all these geezers want you dead, why don't you come and join a consortium I'm putting together to buy Crawley Town FC, they're in the conference now but i'll have them in the world cup in 3 years I'm Tellin' ye, at that moment Foley's head exploded ! "feck sake" says roddy shot 28 feckin' times and he lives and now he goes and pop's his clog's right as he was going to come in on the crawley town deal Ah well guess I'll have to ask...........................

[OwlsFan]

the Kilcoynes and Dunphy who immediately agreed and purchased Crawley Town and announced they were going to bring the club to play in the EL! Two weeks later, they changed their mind and sold the ground at a huge profit to a waste disposal outfit who turn the ground into an incinerator factory. Roddy got more frustrated and turned to...

[ramsfan]

paul osam who was sitting in the corner , what are we going to do paul , roddy said, all paul kept jibbering was "st pats" at which point trevor welch arrived on the scene and....................................

[centre mid]

.... with an ill fitted sports jacket, began recounting his time as a boy in Cork where he was repeatedly...

[Paddyfield]

...fed with....

[centre mid]

..moronic sports clichés such as...

[Paddyfield]

..."if I was in Pat Dolan's shoes, I'd have to.....

[ramsfan]

pretend that i know lots about football and watch wexford youths every bloody weekend, trevor decide it was time to leave as he was going to watch cork city play.................................

[OwlsFan]

pretend that i know lots about football and watch wexford youths every bloody weekend, trevor decide it was time to leave as he was going to watch cork city play.................................

the Cork GAA team because they were refusing to play anyone else. Meanwhile, back to Pat Dolan, the new Irish manager, who said he was going to play all the Irish home games in Tallaght until....

[ramsfan]

thomas davis slapped an injunction on dolan and stopped him managing in tallaght, dolan tried to sort it out but the gaa said they would rather see the stadium burned down than leave a foreign sport be played in it.dolan called his buddy mick wallace who talked to the gaa and decided the stadium ..........

[Block G Raptor]

would be used to stage a once off gladiatorial winner takes over fight to the death between a representative of Rovers and a Rep of the GAA, Rovers Picked a rather large Hooligan known to the rovers fateful as Psycho Phil while the Bogballers chose.........................

[placid casual]

was of a national nterest to those few people who actually followed football in this country and not sat, like arabs in guantanamo, in pubs grumbling about players and teams who dont give a flying fook about them.
the gaa meanwhile had found someone to beat up for no apparent reason other than they were culturally imposing on their national heritage and the blood flowed from the head of......

[biscuit]

would be used to stage a once off gladiatorial winner takes over fight to the death between a representative of Rovers and a Rep of the GAA, Rovers Picked a rather large Hooligan known to the rovers fateful as Psycho Phil while the Bogballers chose.........................

a huge monstrousity of a man from wexford, known only as "the bull", who had red hair and no teeth,stood 7ft tall and smelt like a landfill. he was apparantly outraged at soccer because it took away his cousin, kevin doyle, who.....

[ramsfan]

had sold his soul to a foreign sport for money, and even worse was seen around reading with a waterford man in a stupid hat who everybody thought looked like richie kavanagh. the bull stomped in the arena and........

[OwlsFan]

fled in terror screaming "I didn't know the circus was in town" when he saw Psycho Phil had a face like Eamon Dunphy. Dolan watched on impassively and turned to John Delaney and said....

[deecay]

Oi Steve,I mean John 'why does your hair look funny',John replied.....

[ramsfan]

my hair is a four year plan and at the minute we are rebuiding and the hair has my full backing.to which pat dolan replied.........................

[OwlsFan]

my hair is a four year plan and at the minute we are rebuiding and the hair has my full backing.to which pat dolan replied.........................


that he should appoint a three man committee to choose a hairstyle. Delaney agreed and decided to appoint to this important role Andrew Symonds (Australian cricketer http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42341000/jpg/_42341697_symonds.jpg), and also.....

[gee wizz]

Steven Ireland and Noel Mooney who after 10 weeks and many interviews still havn't found the right stylist for the

[placid casual]

perfect combover as once worn by bobby charlton.help was at hand when stephen hunt suggested they try "the tramp look" as perfected by him for many years but they rejected that in favour of looking like....

[OwlsFan]

a spanner so Bertie Ahern was called in to advise. "If you make a cash donation to me" Bertie said, "I will....."

[ramsfan]

Donate some of the 100k ayear i get for makeup to the delaney hair project, and i will build a special hair styling wing onto the bertie bowl, i know a developer who can get the planning changed for a small fee.with this delaney sprung from the chair and............................................... ...

[gee wizz]

appointed another follicly challenged panel of three to.....

[Block G Raptor]

postulated himself at the feet of Bertie, kissing his feet and mumbling his thanks he also added something about .......................

[ramsfan]

that he really loved him and could see abeautiful relationship developing, bertie jumped from the chair mumbling" infacta infacta" and turned to delaney and said" infacta.................................

[placid casual]

with pants falling about his ankles,rushed into the mens jacks as if a gush was about to spring forth from his rear shouting" you guys give me the two penny bits, and will you please stop going on about my floppy hairdo as my mammy gets awful upset when she reads about her favourite sons hair being mocked".
meanwhile in an office not too far away joe kinnear was getting his passport photocopied by de management to assess his worthfullness to the oirish cause.
joe was suprised to learn he needed.........

[ramsfan]

to come up with a deposit in order to apply for interview with the panel, the deposit entitled you to an interview and a signed photo of john delaney and membership to the john delaney fanclub.kinnear reached into his pocket and...............................

[gee wizz]

gave bertie a dig out for the passport as bertie was feeling the ....

[ramsfan]

presure from having to pay higher car tax on his big merc due to the bloody greens,he could be heard saying those bloody greens will .....................

[placid casual]

have me oul digestion system in a right oul state.which is a bit like how the country is under bertie according to .....

[gee wizz]

eddie hobbs who said "nows the time to tighten those purse strings or face a very bleak...."

[OwlsFan]

...Eddie never got to finish that sentence as he was headbutted by Pat Dolan who wanted to know why Joe Kinnear was applying for a job that he'd been given. He asked Delaney what was happening to which Delaney replied 'The appointment was made in good faith but for whatever reason it hasn't worked out.

'I think by moving to a process where we will appoint people who are vested in the game in a professional capacity to make the next appointment, it is recognition that that's the way forward for the Association at this stage and.....'

He never got to finish the sentence as Dolan headbutted him as well and...

[Rocky77]

...stole the sandwich he has been eating. However, giddy with rage, Dolan began to choke on a piece if chicken tika.

As it seemed the burly one was about to croke it, he was rescued via the heimlich manouever by none other than...

[Block G Raptor]

...stole the sandwich he has been eating. However, giddy with rage, Dolan began to choke on a piece if chicken tika.

As it seemed the burly one was about to croke it, he was rescued via the heimlich manouever by none other than...

Dublin taxi Driver Willie Carter (http://www.rte.ie/tv/howlongwillyoulive/)
who said later I only saved him as i didn't want to be the Fattest Livin' Fecker in Ireland just then an insatiable hunger came over Willie and he decided to eat Dolan after all and was just starting on his second ar$e cheek when he was interrupted by ........................

[ramsfan]

frank murphy from the cork gaa who wanted dolan to come down and rescue the situation in cork, the players had asked for dolan as anyone is better than teddy holland.frank murphy turned to dolan and said.....................

[placid casual]

"blah blah blah oim a culchie dont ye know" and other such rural phrases.
pat dolan said in his strongest norf landan accent "oim orish innit geezah".
the corkie replied in some intelligble rubbish,something along the lines of....

[OwlsFan]

"blah blah blah oim a culchie dont ye know" and other such rural phrases.
pat dolan said in his strongest norf landan accent "oim orish innit geezah".
the corkie replied in some intelligble rubbish,something along the lines of....

"All credit to you, Pat, but at the end of the day like, f**k off back to London. I don't know how you came to be manager of MY country with an accent like that, at the end of the day, like". Pat was bemused and retreated to Dublin where the team was gathering for the game against Brazil. He called the team together and said....

[gee wizz]

"Lads ye would want to get yer act together before ye end as a thread on foot.ie and......

[ramsfan]

get absolutely slated for everything because i heard the people who write on that forum are.........................

[Block G Raptor]

"Lads ye would want to get yer act together before ye end as a thread on foot.ie and......

All the lazy Red Top Journo's start nickin' quotes off of it for their Rag's. well at least it'll keep our conspiracy to get rid of staunton by being crap quiet a bit longer, Now get there and Don't make a show of Brazil now two or three goal's will do it then ye can take your foot off the gas

[placid casual]

to which damian duff went "hey boss is it time for bed yet?", stephen hunt said "can i break someones leg gaffer" and shay given said to no one in particular" I want to join a big club,but i'm a little afraid".
phat pat was busy munching ona coleslaw sandwich given to him by.....

[ramsfan]

his assistant manager giovanni trapatoni, who was constantly seen walking around in a daze repeating over and over " how did i get here", dolan finished with his speech told all the lads to get dressed and on the bus as we are going to ............................................

[OwlsFan]

McDonalds but this caused an argument because some wanted to go to the Magic Chef. Pat said he fancied 12 Big Macs so there was no argument and as the bus pulled in to the nearest McDOnalds who should appear but....

[ramsfan]

harvey norman and his team who were after robbing mcdonalds they jumped into a getaway car and all they could be heard to shout was " go harvey go". dolan in a panic told all the lads to get on the bus as they were now going to harry ramsdens and when they got there who should they meet................

[OwlsFan]

but Jack Charlton. Pat Dolan asked him for a few tips but Jack gave him a few chips. Pat tried again. "What should we do if the Brazilans play a flat back 4?". "Put umm under pressure" Jack replied. "Great" said Pat but if they play 5-4-1 ?". "Put umm under pressure" Jack retorted. "Hmmm" mumbled Pat, fearing what was coming next "and if they don't turn up?". "Put umm under pressure" Jack retorted. Looking round for help Pat saw Stan serving a flat ray behind the counter. On seeing Pat, Stan said....

[ramsfan]

im the boss, im the gaffer and i will not give up this job in harrys, eventually i will get the team frying my way, jack roared oh stephen .......................

[OwlsFan]

im the boss, im the gaffer and i will not give up this job in harrys, eventually i will get the team frying my way. Jack roared "oh stephen .......................

eh, umm, blast, can't remember your name. Anyway, you with the funny hairstyle, can you put Stan under pressure and get that flat ray and chips quickly, they're still uncooked". Before Ireland could say anything, Stan replied “It was just one of those things,” he said with his now characteristic and unconvincing post-meal stoicism. Struggling to remain upbeat, or to desperately hold onto his job, or both, he said: “We are in the building process... the ray and chips are coming along nicely.”

Having seen enough, Pat Dolan left the building with his team and headed off towards....