Jokes (READ FIRST POST)

[John83]

The Republic of Ireland football team.
I'm going to reuse this one.

[3 Heroes]

The GAA are concerned about Croke Park being torn up by the rugger huggers. They were going to fertilise it on Monday, but Steve Staunton contacted them to let them know not to bother as he's bringing a pile of ****e to Croker in March:eek:

A brunette and a blonde pass a florist and the brunette spots her fella buying a bunch of flowers, she says "oh no, he always has expectations after buying me flowers. I don't feel like spending the next 3 days with my feet in the air!". The blonde replies "oh, don't you have a vase?"

[Magicme]

A priest hooks a huge fish. Helping him reel it in, a sailor says



"Whoa,



look at the size of that f*cker!"



"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.



Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out,



"Sorry father,but that's what this fish is called - it's a F*cker



fish"



Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor and
takes the fish back to church.



"Look at this huge f*cker" says the priest, spotting the bishop.



"Language, please! this is God's house," replies the bishop.



"No, no - that's what this fish is called, " says the priest.



"Oh," says the bishop, scratching his chin "I could clean that
f*cker and we could have it for dinner".



So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the
mother superior.



"Could you cook this f*cker for dinner tonight?" he asks her.



"My, what language!" she exclaims, clearly shocked.



"No, sister that's what the fish is called - a f*cker, " says the



bishop.



Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior says,
"wonderful,
I'll cook that f*cker tonight,



The Pope is coming for dinner!"



The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they got it.



"Well, I caught the f*cker!" says the priest.



"And I cleaned the f*cker!" says the bishop.



"And I cooked the f*cker!" says the mother superior.



The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely glaze, leans
back on his chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table,



Pours himself a whiskey and says



"You know what?, You c*nts are alright."

[2legged tackle]

learn chinese in 5 min!!! haha
1) That's not right .......................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?.............. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP................................Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man ................................ Dum Fok
5) Small Horse ............................... Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? .................. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table .............. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift .............. Chin Tu Fat
9) I thought you were on a diet .............. Wai Yu Mun Ching?
10) This is a tow away zone .................. No Pah King
11) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
12) Staying out of sight ..................... Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile ............. Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odor is offensive .............. Yu Stin Ki Pu
15) Great .................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

tings to do while out shopping!!


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts
when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.


6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
pick your
nose!

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if
he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission
Impossible theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using
different size
funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK
ME!

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!! And; last,
but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and
then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

[BohsPartisan]

Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini
van
> > >when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells
out "Oh
fat
> > >boy, whip me, whip me!"
>
> > >Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity,
obviously
did
> > >not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration,
he opens
the
> > >window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip
Colleen
>until
> > >they both collapses in ecstasy.
>
> > >About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by
the
> > >whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the
doctor.
>
> > >The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you
get
these
> > >marks having sex?"
>
> > >Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy
(let
> > >alone that she allowed the kinky ******* to whip her)
eventually
admits
>that,
> > >yes, she did.
>
> > >Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, "I thought
so,
> > >because in all my years of doctoring you've got the worst
case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen.

[smellyfeet]

John and Mary were on their way home from a night on the booze,Mary say's to John,"John i need to go for a P11S", John replies, "go in behind that bush and i'll keep an eye out for ya". So she went in behind the bush. John could hear her taking down her knickers and felt a bit horny, so he stuck his hand in through the bush and start fealling her leg.Slowly moving his hand up her leg he felt this long/hard thing, He say's to her,"Mary, you should have told me you had a sex change, Mary replies,"John the only thing i changed is my mind, im having a sH1T".

[Peadar]

"I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."

Classic! :D

[Jamjar]

A couple who are living together for years decide to get married. They set the date for 2 months away. The girlfriend tells the fella that she won't have sex with him until there wedding night. The boyfriend reluctantly agrees. After a few days the boyfriend is becoming increasingly frustrated, so he decides to take matters into his own hands, as it were. His girlfriend walks in and catches him, "Save that 'til we married she says", so the boyfriend apologies and zips himself up. A few weeks later the girlfriend arrives home unexpectedly early. Again she finds the boyfriend pleasuring himself. "I thought you were going to save that 'til we are married" she screams. "I am says the boyfriend, I've saved 2 pints of it already" !!

[Magicme]

A couple who are living together for years decide to get married. They set the date for 2 months away. The girlfriend tells the fella that she won't have sex with him until there wedding night. The boyfriend reluctantly agrees. After a few days the boyfriend is becoming increasingly frustrated, so he decides to take matters into his own hands, as it were. His girlfriend walks in and catches him, "Save that 'til we married she says", so the boyfriend apologies and zips himself up. A few weeks later the girlfriend arrives home unexpectedly early. Again she finds the boyfriend pleasuring himself. "I thought you were going to save that 'til we are married" she screams. "I am says the boyfriend, I've saved 2 pints of it already" !!

This is a true story bout you and thats why your called Jamjar isn't it?? :D

[strangeirish]

Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says "I've never come
this way before"; the second one replies "Must be the cobbles".

[First]

British & Irish Governments Plan Ceremony in Croke Park Northern Ireland Minister Peter Hain has announced details of a joint ceremony before Irelands crunch game against England in Croke Park on the 24th February.

The significance of the game is not lost on GAA followers and republicans who remember the infamous shooting of 14 players and supporters by the British Army on the 21st November 1921.

However according to GAA spokesman Ulick Magee a plan being devised by the GAA and the Northern Ireland office, will attempt to draw a line under the incident.

"We've spoken to the British government and they understand the significance of the event back in 1921. Back then 14 people were killed by British forces so in the spirit of the peace process and friendship we're proposing that we shoot 14 of their lot before the match. Then maybe have fireworks afterwards or something." Said Mr Magee.

Government Reaction
The plan has had a mixed reaction from Downing Street. Prime Minister Tony Blair thinks the idea has merit but said that it needs to be done properly and with dignity.

"Frankly I think its a small price to pay for progression in Anglo-Irish affairs, but I think the idea of getting Ray Houghton to do the shooting would be too much for many English fans to take particularly after his goal against us back in 1988. And he's Scottish which is worse."

Proposed Victims
According to informed sources, the GAA and Number 10 have already drawn up a list of names for those to be shot. The list, which is not yet agreed, is thought to be a compromise of people that both the Irish and English public dislike. Among the names are moaney-hole singer James Blunt, foul mouth idiot Jade Goody, Trinny & Suzannah, Man Utd donkey Rio Ferdinand, cream cake expert Vanessa Feltz, "comedian" Russell Brand and any of the blokes who do outside broadcasts for Sky News.

But discussions took an ironic twist when both sides agreed on shooting Belfast singer Brian Kennedy, but neither side agreed on what nationality he was. GAA representatives claim he's British with their Foreign Office counterparts claiming he's Irish. The Irish claimed no Irishman should sing or dance in such a manner and the English saying he couldn't be a Brit because he had no tattoos on his forearm and didn't wear Ben Sherman shirts. However there was eventual consensus that he should be shot regardless of his nationality.

Plans agreed
The shooting will be carried out by members of the 2nd Infantry Battalion from Cathal Brugha Barracks in Dublin. The original idea to get the FCA to carry out the executions were dropped when they revealed that their rifles are in fact made of baked-plastercine. Similarly the Garda Emergency Response Unit was discounted for fear they'd shoot more innocent civilians then claim overtime for it.

[gustavo]

http://a1135.g.akamai.net/f/1135/18227/1h/cchannel.download.akamai.com/18227/podcast/NEWYORK-NY/WHTZ-FM/070213_WEB_IrishIndian.mp3

[First]

OH my God

[willymccann]

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party. The
Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger.
In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days."

Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your first request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, I'd like to speak to my horse." The Chief nods
and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's
ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his
back as the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters
the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a
very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What
is your second request?"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to
him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes
off and disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this
time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde. She
enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are
indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What
is your last request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse,....alone" The
Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone
Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him
square in the eye and says,

Listen very carefully for....the.. ..last... .time I said...

"BRING POSSE"

[strangeirish]

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb, and for a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me".

The frightened passenger, apologized to the driver, and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. I'm new to this. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the past 23 years."

[strangeirish]

These three guys die in a car wreck, and they all go to Hell. When they arrive, the Devil asks each of the men what their sin was.

The first guy says “It’s gotta be the booze, I’m always drunk “ The Devil decides to lock him in this room for 100 years with nothing but shelves of every kind of alcohol you could dream of. The guy’s thinking, “Yeah! Look at all this alcohol!” and runs into the room.

The second guy says, “It’s the women I could never stay faithful to my wife.” The devil opens the second door and nothing but the finest-looking naked women that you have ever seen And, he would be the only guy in there for 100 years. He couldn’t believe it. He goes in and the Devil shuts the door.

The third man said “It’s gotta be the weed, I’m always tokin’ up” The Devil opens the third door to reveal nothing but fields of 10-foot tall, icky, sticky, take-a-toke, make-ya-choke, chronic, green, death weed. The stoner can’t believe it. He goes in and takes a seat Indian style with his back to the door and the Devil shuts the door behind him.

One hundred years go by and the Devil comes back to check on the three men. He opens the first door and the man comes crawling out. He’s got an empty bottle in one hand, he’s completely naked, hasn’t shaved or showered in years, and is covered in his own puke. “I’ll never drink again!”, he says. The devil tells him that at least he learned something and decides to give him a second shot at life.

The devil then opens the second door and the man comes running out even faster than when he went in “I’m gay!” he screams. The devil decides that at least he learned not to cheat on his wife and gives him another chance as well.

The devil then comes to the third door, He opens it and nothing has changed. The stoner is still sitting in the same position that he was 100 years ago. The devil asks him if he learned anything.

The stoner turns around as a tear rolls down his cheek…

“You got a light, Man.”

[paul_oshea]

dont get it....

[strangeirish]

dont get it....
Eh, he didn't have a lighter for 100 years, so he couldn't smoke his weed. If ye didn't get that, you must have had one yourself today!:D :p

[John83]

St. Peter is on the door (well, the Pearly Gates if you prefer). A freshly dead soul turns up. "So, how'd you die then?" asks Peter.
"Figured my wife was seeing someone behind my back. I went home early, found her there half dressed and started searching the place. I found the ******* hanging off the edge of the balcony. I stamped on his fingers and he fell. It's not that high, and I was really ****ed off, so I lugged the fridge over and chucked it after him. I think I had a heart attack then."

Peter sends him on his way, and soon a second guy arrives.
"How'd you die then?"
"I was doing some yoga on the balcony when I slipped on the remains of last night's curry. I managed to grab onto the next balcony down, but some nutter started stamping on my hands. Last thing I remember is being flat on my back, in agony, and something big, rectangular and white falling."

Peter lets him in, and a third guy arrives.
"How'd you die?"
"Picture me stark naked, hiding in a fridge..."

[dahamsta]

I love that joke, although in the version I have he just says: "I was in this fridge..." :)

[paul_oshea]

Eh, he didn't have a lighter for 100 years, so he couldn't smoke his weed. If ye didn't get that, you must have had one yourself todayno i understood that, as in he was stoned and just sat there doped for 100 years and then turns and asks for a light, i just dont get it as being a joke?

who are the soundest people in hospital?

The ultra-sound people!!! :D
---------------------------
how did luke skywalker know what darth vader had gotten him for christmas?

he felt his presents.......

[strangeirish]

no i understood that, as in he was stoned and just sat there doped for 100 years and then turns and asks for a light, i just dont get it as being a joke? The tear rolling down his cheek was the hint...

[Lev Yashin]

what do you call a scottish cloakroom attendant??

Angus McCoatup

[paul_oshea]

what did jesus say to david when he was on the cross??


i can see your house from here....quality i love those jokes :D

[strangeirish]

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[paul_oshea]

what did jesus say to david when he was on the cross?



Don't eat my easter egg ill be back on sunday......:D blasphemous i know but funny!

[3 Heroes]

I see the Pakistani's are going to give up playing Cricket.....It seems Bob Slaying is now their favourite sport

[pineapple stu]

Oh dear...

I hear he's going to be cremated; Pakistan at least want to be able to say they brought the Ashes home...

[Red&White]

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb, and for a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me".

The frightened passenger, apologized to the driver, and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. I'm new to this. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the past 23 years."

That's brilliant!

[strangeirish]

Those 15 soldiers captured for straying into Iranian waters, 14 men and 1 woman...
Doesn't take a genius to work out who was reading the map does it?
:D

[John83]

Those 15 soldiers captured for straying into Iranian waters, 14 men and 1 woman...
Doesn't take a genius to work out who was reading the map does it?
:D
Yes, the officer.

[Den Perry]

guy walks into local Garda station and slaps his mickey onto the counter "here" he says,"breathalysze this cos I'm drivin it home tonight"

[3 Heroes]

British hostages are being released by the Iranians as an Easter gift. Tony Blair says f**k off, he wants an easter egg like everyone else!

[dcfc1985]

was at the cemetery yesterday and I seen some grave diggers walking around the graveyard with a coffin..4 hours later they were still walking round with the coffin.

I thought to myself...these guys have lost the plot.

:D

[Den Perry]

was at the cemetery yesterday and I seen some grave diggers walking around the graveyard with a coffin..4 hours later they were still walking round with the coffin.

I thought to myself...these guys have lost the plot.

I like that joke...

:D

i like that joke.....

[Den Perry]

why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide..

[gustavo]

Some Anti Jokes

Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.

Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
------------------------

A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

-----------------------

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?

She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

------------------------------------------------------------

What do you call a cat with no tail?

A manx cat.

------------------------------------------------------------

Why do undertakers wear ties?

Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

------------------------------------------------------------

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

------------------------------------------------------------

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

------------------------------------------------------------

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'

The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'
------------------------------------------------------------


Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt
to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated
rainforest.
------------------------------------------------------------


How many kangaroos does it take to fix a leaky water main?

None, a kangaroo has neither the intelligence nor dexterity to do any kind of plumbing work. At best it could try to locate the source of the leek by jumping around, but even then it would be hard pushed to actually do anything about it.
------------------------------------------------------------

[MojoPin]

Some Anti Jokes

Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.

Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
------------------------

A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

-----------------------

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?

She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

------------------------------------------------------------

What do you call a cat with no tail?

A manx cat.

------------------------------------------------------------

Why do undertakers wear ties?

Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

------------------------------------------------------------

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

------------------------------------------------------------

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

------------------------------------------------------------

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'

The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'


ive seen a post an emial similar to tis doing the rounds for the past while yet fail to find any of it funny,,,, wheres the humour or am i so tupid i cant see it?

[Risteard]

Well i nearly wet myself.
Probably only funny in type.

[John83]

ive seen a post an emial similar to tis doing the rounds for the past while yet fail to find any of it funny,,,, wheres the humour or am i so tupid i cant see it?
I don't find them funny much myself, but like lots of comedy, it's just about defying expectations - in this case, the expectation of a punchline. It works a little better if you use really hackneyed joke templates, like:

- Knock-knock.
- Who's there?
- TV licence inspector.
- Oh. Damn.

or

- Doctor, Doctor, my throat feels like it's on fire.
- You have tonsilitis. I'll write you a prescription for Augmentin.

[3 Heroes]

A man asked a woman "do you still have your virginity?" She replied "no, but I have the box it came in"

[Green Tribe]

Those 15 soldiers captured for straying into Iranian waters, 14 men and 1 woman...
Doesn't take a genius to work out who was reading the map does it?
:D

Cheers sirhamish and strangeirish, heard it already though! :D :rolleyes:

[3 Heroes]

Mary walks ten miles every day in search of clean water for her family. For as little as 5 Euro a month you too can support a family in Galway

[stann]

ive seen a post an emial similar to tis doing the rounds for the past while yet fail to find any of it funny,,,, wheres the humour or am i so tupid i cant see it?

To get a bit high-brow about it I read somewhere once a nice explanation along the lines that comedy lies in the unlikely juxtaposition of precept and percept. 3 Heroes' one above is a great example of this.
The precept with the list of non-jokes being the anticipated punchline, the percept being that it never arrives. Assuming you like this kind of non-joke thing (which I do) then the subtle differences are added by the phrasing, rhythm, cadence and timings of the subsequent 'answer' sentance, which is why the one about the manx cat is the best. :D

On a whole nother note, I just heard the most foul joke in the world on Paramount tonight, but there's no way it's going up here!

[shedite]

Why don't deaf people skydive?
They haven't heard of it.

Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the crap out of the guide dog

Guy walks down the street with a lady on his back. Someone asks him what he's doing. "I'm going to a fancy-dress party" he replied. "As what?".
"I'm going as a turtle. This is Michelle"

[ollie]

Guy walks down the street with a lady on his back. Someone asks him what he's doing. "I'm going to a fancy-dress party" he replied. "As what?".
"I'm going as a turtle. This is Michelle"


Taxi!:p

[3 Heroes]

What have Virginia University and Antarctica got in common? They're both minus 33 today

[ollie]

What have Virginia University and Antarctica got in common? They're both minus 33 today

That might touch a nerve or 2.:D :o

[strangeirish]

WHO SAYS MEN DON'T REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?




A woman awakes during the night to find that her
husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to
look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot
cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just
staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and
takes a sip of his coffee."What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she
steps into the room,"Why are you down here at this time of night?" The
husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first
met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember
back then?" he says solemnly.The wife is touched to tears thinking that
her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes,I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember",said the wife, lowering herself into
a chair beside him.The husband continues. "Do you remember when he
shoved the shotgun in my face and said, either you marry my daughter, or
I will send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too" she replies
softly.He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have
gotten out today."

[smellyfeet]

Man and Woman are in bed, Man lets off a fart and a being a little embarresed tries to cover it up by saying "1 nil"
Woman then lets off and say's "1 all". Man lets off again and say's "2-1" so the Woman lets off another and say's "2 all". The Man wanting to get one over on her tries to squeeze 1 more out but sh1ts the bed and say's "half time, change side's":D