QuoteWhat's the difference between Australia and a pot of yoghurt?
Leave it alone for a couple of hundred years, and yoghurt will develop its own culture.
A carton of yogurt walk into a bar. The barman says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."
The yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why? I’m cultured.”
What's the difference between Australia and a pot of yoghurt?
Leave it alone for a couple of hundred years, and yoghurt will develop its own culture.
Man City have announced that a new face will soon be arriving at Eastlands.
Tevez and Lescott have been fighting over it.
osama bin laden was arrested by police in wales for having sex with sheep.
he's been reported as saying 'they were islams and he'll do what he wants with them'
"Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king"
Sideshow Bob
why was phil's girlfriend annoyed ???
because she found out that phillips 24 inch was a TV .
" football is a simple game "
What's the best form of contraception?
Cum on her face.
You sure thats a joke and not a scientific fact?Originally Posted by DmanDmythDledge
My Guarantee
Am looking for old Irish matches on VHS, PM me if you have some and I'll upload them here
In her mouth is probably safer.
Jaysus, what was she planning on doing with 24 inches worth of it anyway?why was phil's girlfriend annoyed ???
because she found out that phillips 24 inch was a TV .
One day the Sunday school teacher asked what part of the body went to heaven first.
Susie said, "Your heart, 'cause you need it to love."
Richie said, "Your head, 'cause you need it to think."
Little Johnny raised his hand and the teacher called on him reluctantly. Little Johnny said, "Your feet."
Confused, the teacher asked why.
Johnny replied, "When I walked past my mom's room last night, she had her feet in the air and was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming, I'm coming!"
I was hoping to do a degree in Sexual Education. I didnt get in coz I failed the oral.
whats the difference between swine flu and Liverpool
swine flu is still in europe
2 plane loads of volunteers from limerick have just taken off from shannon airport
heading for haiti to assist with the looting
" football is a simple game "
Union negotiations
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced the number rof virgins a suicide bomber would receive after death will be cut by 15% next January from 72 to 60 .The rational for the cut was the increase in the recent years of the number of suicide bombings and the subsequent shortage of virgins in the after life.
The suicide bombers’ bombers, union, the British organisation of occupational martyrs (or B, O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. The general secretary Abdullah Amir told the press ‘Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad’. We don’t ask much for in return but to be treated like this by the management is a kick in the teeth.
Mr. Amir accepted the limited availability of virgin, but pointed out that the cutbacks were expected to be Bourne entirely by the workforce and not by the management.’ Last Christmas Abu Hamas alone was awarded an annual bonus of 250,00 virgin ‘Complained Amir, And you can be sure they’ll all be pretty ones too.how can Al Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real work.
Speaking from a shed in the west midlands in which he currently resides Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, “we sympathise with our brother worker concerns, but Al-Qaida is simply not in apposition to meet the demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of the modern –day Jihad, in a completitive marketplace. Thanks to western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the after life. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying off people. I don’t like cutting wages but I’d hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up. He defended the management bonuses by claiming the are necessary to attract good, fanaticalclerics.”How am I supposed to attract the best of people if I can’t compete with the private sector. Asked bin –laden.
Talks broke down this morning after management last-ditch proposal of a virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure to agree on orifices allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was quoted as saying “I’ll be buggered if I’ am agreeing to anything like that, it’s too much to swallow.
Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, Suicide bombers will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which is a different union, is likely to continue working. However, some members of the branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to express solidarity with the striking brethren.
Spokesperson in North East of England, Swindon, north Kent and the entire Australian Continent stated that this world not affect the operations as” there are NO Virgins in their areas anyway
What a waste of bandwidth.
Moved to the jokes thread, despite my reservations about qualification...
man united - PRIDE OF EVERYWHERE
How do you pull a fat bird?
.
.
.
.
Piece of cake
on BBC 606...........
Apparently Wayne Bridge has sent Vanessa a replica of his John Thomas made out of Cadbury's chocolate. But she sent it back saying she preferred Terrys.
"Garlic bread - it’s the future, I’ve tasted it."
Brian Potter - Phoenix Nights
Wayne Bridge has notified Fabio Capello that he will not travel to the World Cup and play in an England side with John Terry in it. Capello has sent Terry round to Emile Heskeys house looking for his missus....
Man walks into the Butchers and says, " can i have a pound of Kiddly's" "Kiddly's?" says the Butcher, man says "thats what i said Didlle I".
Second man walks into the Butchers and says, "can i have a nice piece of meat", Butcher says "any piece of meat in particular sir" man says "i'll have that piece of meat on the top shelve" Butcher says "sorry sir, the steaks are too high".
Last edited by smellyfeet; 03/02/2010 at 4:38 PM.
If you're in the penalty area and don't know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we'll discuss the options later
FORM IS TEMPORARY, CLASS IS PERMANENT
ashley cole was caught doing 104mph in a 50 mph zone . when questioned by police as to why he was speeding he said
" i've just heard john terrys car is parked outside my house "
" football is a simple game "
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