Topical Best Man Speech Jokes

[Real ale Madrid]

Anyone have any good topical best man speech jokes - anything you may have heard recently - I'd be greatly appreciative.

Delivering a best man speech on Friday - I have a raft of the usual lined up - but anything original and topical would be nice to add in.

[nigel-harps1954]

I find it wonderful that, after all these years, (insert name here) has finally admitted who really is the best man.

I had quite a few of them in my speech for my brothers wedding a few years back. Remembering them is another thing, but the one above is probably my favourite.

[tetsujin1979]

Friend of mine told this one at his own wedding, and it has been repeated in a few more of my mates' nuptials

Girl tells her mother she's met the man she's going to marry, and he's waiting in the living room to meet her. The mother walks in and there's three man standing in the room, so her daughter asks her to guess which one is her fiancee. Straight away the mother says "It's the one in the middle", which is correct. Shocked, the daughter asks her mother how she knew that was the right choice. "Because I don't like him" replies her mother.

[Mr A]

This is what sickipedia was made for! You just need a major celebrity to die on Thursday.

[Real ale Madrid]

MMM not sure about sickipedia as a source for wedding jokes - I liked this topical one on Brexit.

The way Britain decided to leave Europe was similar to how (Groom) felt when he first considered proposing to (Bride). He weighed up the pros and cons, worried about the future, considered the financial benefits, but mostly did it to stop other people gaining entry.

[Eminence Grise]

'<Bride's name> you look stunning, <groom's name> you look stunned.'

When <groom> told <bride> he was planning a three day stag and wouldn’t be around to see her mother visiting, she was annoyed and asked how he would like it if he couldn’t see her for three days. Day one of the stag passed by, day two of the stag passed. By the end of the third day, the swelling in his right eye had gone down just enough to see me and the ladyboys. Sorry, me and the lads.

Topical...dunno... Depends so much on context. What they're into, what the room will get. Brad Pitt hasn't stopped crying since he heard <bride's name> had set the date. Corny, but not as risky as replacing those names with Angela and the groom...

Good luck with it -relax and enjoy the chance to show off without retaliation from the groom.