Best way to get rid of ugly birds?

[The Stars]

Give us something different to talk about for a change.
Heard this one the other day.
I was sitting down in the pub when this ugly red head came up to me and started chating to me.Before it got to far I decide it was time to get rid of her.She was wearing glasses so this is what i said.
Me-God you look really intellegent,do you read much?
Her-Ya I read loads,I have all my life.
Me-Have you read(RED) Pubes?
Girl gets up and leaves in tears....

This is not Meant to offend any red heads and no red heads were harmed in the making of this conversation.

Anyone else have any good stories?

[dahamsta]

That was a good story?

[The Stars]

Why the question mark ????????

[deecay]

Pathetic The Stars. Pathetic
I will give you a 6/10 for it :D
5 of those are because you a Rovers supporter like myself. ;)

[The Stars]

well 1 isnt bad so.Come on deecay you stud,lets hear something from you

[strangeirish]

"I'm drunk and your ugly, but I'll be sober in the morning and you'll be still ugly. Now f**k off."

Works all the time for me!!!! :D

[Cosmo]

Give us something different to talk about for a change.
Heard this one the other day.
I was sitting down in the pub when this ugly red head came up to me and started chating to me.Before it got to far I decide it was time to get rid of her.She was wearing glasses so this is what i said.
Me-God you look really intellegent,do you read much?
Her-Ya I read loads,I have all my life.
Me-Have you read(RED) Pubes?
Girl gets up and leaves in tears....

This is not Meant to offend any red heads and no red heads were harmed in the making of this conversation.

Anyone else have any good stories?


Thats a good one alright - though one question - why didnt he just shag her for the laugh :confused:

[noby]

Best way to get rid of anyone?

Just tell one of your good stories. Clear any room.

[drinkfeckarse]

"You're the one who gave my friends crabs aren't ya?" normally works.

[paul_oshea]

lads i doubt ye boys have the opporunity or the chance to knock back the chicks, and if ye did there is no way ye would, as like the fat ones ye dont know where and when its coming from next!

like the churchill quote. the one i use, which doesnt work btw, as i have found out a couple of times is, i have a girlfriend. dont use it as they will keep chatting to ye then, whether or not they want to ride ye.

[thejollyrodger]

red heads are minging alright but i have never been aproached by one thank god.

[dahamsta]

lads i doubt ye boys have the opporunity or the chance to knock back the chicksI was thinking the same thing meself.

[Aberdonian Stu]

Have to disagree I have a lot of time for red headed women.

[superfrank]

Me too. In fact my girlfriend is a red head. At least I know she's another Celt.

[noby]

red heads are minging alright but i have never been aproached by one thank god.


Thank God indeed.
Obviously you radiate such charm and animal magnatism that you simultaneously attract "fit" "birds", and repel "ugly" "birds".
Such powers can be dangerous in the wrong hands.
*swoon*

[finlma]

red heads are minging alright but i have never been aproached by one thank god.

Probably never even been approached by a gril :rolleyes:

[ccfcgirl]

"I'm drunk and your ugly, but I'll be sober in the morning and you'll be still ugly. Now f**k off."

Works all the time for me!!!! :DThis is the best one so far :D

[paul_oshea]

ya thats the churchill quote he said it to lady(whats her name?), he also said in repsonse to lady ( cant remember her name )
lady(whatever her name is ): if you were my husband id poison your drink!
churchill: if you were my wife id drink it!!

[thejollyrodger]

Probably never even been approached by a gril :rolleyes:

Lets see your misses , she is probably a red head minger :D :D


Thank God indeed.
Obviously you radiate such charm and animal magnatism that you simultaneously attract "fit" "birds", and repel "ugly" "birds".
Such powers can be dangerous in the wrong hands.
*swoon*

You sound like a minging red head :D :D

[Peadar]

Probably never even been approached by a gril


Not sure he'd ever want to be! :D

[drinkfeckarse]

Probably never even been approached by a gril :rolleyes:

.....or a girl for that matter ;) :D

[sligoman]

Not sure he'd ever want to be! :DI was waiting for someone to pick up on that :D, Should have known it would be Peadar :rolleyes:

[paul_oshea]

sligoman do you not like peadar?

[finlma]

.....or a girl for that matter ;) :D

I meant oven....I mean girl.

My second finger can't keep up with the thrid.... I mean third.

[Drumcondra Red]

Thats a good one alright - though one question - why didnt he just shag her for the laugh :confused:

Sure if she's not the may west it counts as training, or sparring to some people!!! :D That right Cosmo???

But seriously if a wreck tries it on, you just say; "Sorry I couldn't, my friends being talking about you and checking you out all night, maybe you could go over and say hello???" Works a treat!

[paul_oshea]

"But seriously if a wreck tries it on, you just say; "Sorry I couldn't, my friends being talking about you and checking you out all night, maybe you could go over and say hello???" Works a treat!"

i just usually show them a picture of you or tell them that your my best d red :D

[Peadar]

or tell them that your my best d red :D

Tell them that he's your best what, Paul??? :D

[Drumcondra Red]

No point in showing the a picture of me... theat'll only get them excited and they'll hop you, honestly!

[paul_oshea]

friend pa burke¬!!!

[sligoman]

sligoman do you not like peadar?No comment, cos I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I dont :D

[Peadar]

I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I dont :D


That's a consequence of being born in Sligo!
Don't worry sligoman, I'm not ginger. :D

[Green Army Girl]

Lads be honest as if none of you have ever been wit a minger, sure we all have its part of growing up :D Ive had a few (1 or 2!) but the minging ones are always the ones wit all the charm

[finlma]

Ah yes...the ones where you wake up in the morning and quickly tell the bird beside you that you have a soccer match at 11 so she better leave cause you have to get ready. Works a treat.

[anto1208]

Lads be honest as if none of you have ever been wit a minger, sure we all have its part of growing up :D Ive had a few (1 or 2!) but the minging ones are always the ones wit all the charm

a the old " quater to 2 you'll do " birds .


best way to loose a bird in a club is when she is talking to you just say excuse me i just have to go over here , and walk about 5 feet the stop and stare ahead , she'll be left standing there like a tw at and she'll soon jog on .

[paul_oshea]

"but the minging ones are always the ones wit all the charm"

thanks, i know i do, and thats why i get all the fit birds...

[Green Army Girl]

As Homer said three simple words "i am gay" and im sure your not minging Paul cos your defo not the charmer, only joking your a Mayo stud.;)

[paul_oshea]

im not from mayo!!! im from roscommon, but you got the second part right i am a stud. i was only being modest the last post and didnt want to hurt the other lads feelings on the board!! :D

[onenilgameover]

Just starting jumping up and down like some freakin ape-man from a zoo where the mis-treat the animals....only the really ugly birds will stay then and really you'd have to get up on em ape-style for their sheer perseverance.

[ccfcgirl]

What ever happened to nice personality and forget about the looks............;) ;)

[Thunderblaster]

Another ways of shifting an ugly crow away from the scene is quite popular in Zamunda (ask Eddie Murphy).

Man: Bark like a dog!

Crow: Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Man: A big dog!

Crow: Woof, woof, woof, woof!

Man: Make the noise of an orang utan!

Crow: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

Man: Hop on one leg!

Crow: (hops on one leg and hops away) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!:D

Try that some Saturday night!:D

[the 12 th man]

Give us something different to talk about for a change.
Heard this one the other day.
I was sitting down in the pub when this ugly red head came up to me and started chating to me.Before it got to far I decide it was time to get rid of her.She was wearing glasses so this is what i said.
Me-God you look really intellegent,do you read much?
Her-Ya I read loads,I have all my life.
Me-Have you read(RED) Pubes?
Girl gets up and leaves in tears....

This is not Meant to offend any red heads and no red heads were harmed in the making of this conversation.

Anyone else have any good stories?

There are some stunning looking red haired women out there,open up your eyes

[The Stars]

I know there are....its just a story....It wouldnt really be the same if it was a Blonde,would it?