Jokes (READ FIRST POST)

[Sligo Hornet]

Can you PM it to me.

I'm not easily shocked.......PM me also please.

[joeSoap]

And me........

[DmanDmythDledge]

Someone send it to me as well please. Or just post it...

[beautifulrock]

So wasv Anto's joke it funny then ???

[paul_oshea]

it was crap probably, if not send it to me via pm also. thanks.

[gustavo]

forward it on to me too lads please!

[Risteard]

Me too anto please.
Not that i think we should have a 'jokes in bad taste thread'.

[First]

Anto PM me please. Or just post it FF;)S

[Stevo Da Gull]

Go on... post it... or just PM me or whatever;)

[beautifulrock]

Anto, me too please but boy have you built this up:)

[joeSoap]

Anto....prepare to die if this ain't the funniest thing I've ever heard.........:D

[inexile]

if you wouldnt mind anto me too please!!

[Kildare Lad]

Same here! Or can someone just post it?

[anto1208]

Its been build up way too much , it will prob fall on its arse now and its prob not as bad as i think ... .i thought it was funny so here goes



What’s the biggest cause of paedophilia ?




Sexy children :eek:


Ah i ballsed it up...... built it up too much and ive never been good at telling jokes :D

[Risteard]

Actually.
I've an old few locked up that I'll have to run past adam some day before throwing them on to this thread.

The sort of jokes Moe would say that loses him friends.

[paul_oshea]

i heard that 1 yr ago!!!!

along with this

how do you stop kids playing in your garden




molest (1 of } them


remove if not suitable

[strangeirish]

How do you get a Nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an alter boy.:)

[Stevo Da Gull]

These jokes remind me of what Frankie Boyle (scottish comedian) said a while back..... it's at the beginning of this clip ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UjfftypahQ

[anto1208]

i heard that 1 yr ago!!!!

along with this

how do you stop kids playing in your garden




molest (1 of } them


remove if not suitable


Brilliant :D

I heard my one last september and im still laughing

[joeSoap]

I'm all for a laugh lads, but those jokes are fcuking sick. Totally sick.:mad:

[paul_oshea]

i have a mate who tells all those kind of jokes, he is the best person to tell a joke, even a stupid crap one sounds funny, but he has even worse ones than those above, that i dont agree with at all.......still free world and all that! I agree with ye though!

[Risteard]

<deleted>

paul oshea ur prob right but can we get a thread of our own?
Don't know how to use that spoiler thing

[anto1208]

I'm all for a laugh lads, but those jokes are fcuking sick. Totally sick.:mad:

I DID TRY TO WARN YOU

[paul_oshea]

risteard in fairness you dont know who reads these boards and coule be seriouslly offended with that. heard that one too, there is an even worse one with whats blue....not going any further with that. dont know how ppl dont feel guilty telling those sorta jokes!

[shakermaker1982]

you bunch of sicko's haha!!!!

[anto1208]

I'm all for a laugh lads, but those jokes are fcuking sick. Totally sick.:mad:

its not the joke persay but the unexpected answer , no one expects you to say sexy children thats why its funny . peadophilia isnt funny

[First]

its not the joke persay but the unexpected answer , no one expects you to say sexy children thats why its funny . peadophilia isnt funny

Either is beandophilia:)

[shedite]

Here's a clean joke for a change.

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the president this morning. He told the president that three Brizilian soliders were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all the colours ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaking, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

[strangeirish]

This guy just met an older woman at a club one night. She was OK for
57.
They drank a bit, danced a bit, & she asked if he'd ever had "The
sportsman's
double"-- a mother and daughter 3-some?

He said no.
They drank a bit more then she says that tonight was his lucky night.
They went to her place.

She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"

[Raheny Red]

Heard this one the other night:

knock Knock.



Whose there?



Not Madeline McCann!


:eek::eek:

[MojoPin]

now thats bad........

[Risteard]

I'm portugese, quick on my feet, leave the opposition befuddled, obviously skilled at what i do but go missing when i'm wanted most.
Who am i?

[Bluebeard]

I'm portugese, quick on my feet, leave the opposition befuddled, obviously skilled at what i do but go missing when i'm wanted most.
Who am i?

This better be appalling!:D

[paul_oshea]

jose mourinhos dog?!

raheny red that is terrible. imagine if her poor parents or relatives/family/friends saw that.

[First]

Heard this one the other night:

knock Knock.



Whose there?



Not Madeline McCann!


:eek::eek:

The jokes thread has not reached the bottom of the barrel:eek:

[Risteard]

I'm portugese, quick on my feet, leave the opposition befuddled, obviously skilled at what i do but go missing when i'm wanted most.
Who am i?
This better be appalling!:DMadeleine McCanns abductor.
raheny red that is terrible. imagine if her poor parents or relatives/family/friends saw that.Probably too busy having dinner.

:eek::eek:

[paul_oshea]

ya i was thinking about that when i wrote it, but there is nothing that can be done now about that.

[Raheny Red]

raheny red that is terrible. imagine if her poor parents or relatives/family/friends saw that.

I didn't post it as a joke :rolleyes: so showing what sort of jokes that are out there!

[joeSoap]

Two athletes meet up at the Olympic Village.

First guy says: "Are you a pole vaulter?"

Second guy says: "No, I'm german actually, but how did you guess my name?"

[paul_oshea]

i thought that was class when i heard it, but when i told people they thought it was crap.

[Magicme]

Success:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

[strangeirish]

Skanger: 'Doctor, I think I'm pregnant.'
Doctor: 'But I gave you the Pill.'
Skanger: 'Yes, I know. But it keeps falling out.'

[Ash]

i thought that was class when i heard it, but when i told people they thought it was crap.

That one is class ... I reckon the people you told it to are crap

[RogerMilla]

That one is class ... I reckon the people you told it to are crap

could be the way he tells 'em !

[Risteard]

What do archaeologists wear when the'yre trying to unearth ancient automobiles?
A cardigan.

[stann]

That one is class ... I reckon the people you told it to are crap

Correct and right. It's me new favourite joke. Pure genius!

[3 Heroes]

Somebody asked Michael Barrymore if he was doing panto this year...

He said 'No way, I did Aladdin 6 years ago and it's still haunting me'

[loscherland]

100 years ago 20 white men chasing a black man in Indianapolis were called the KKK...


… now it's called F1

[BohsPartisan]

raheny red that is terrible. imagine if her poor parents or relatives/family/friends saw that.

About as much chance they're on foot.ie as the kidnappers watching TG4 on a Friday night.

[paul_oshea]

bohs, you would be suprised they are 2gs and 3gs.