View Full Version : weddings:the big day:what could possibly go wrong
the 12 th man
19/08/2004, 2:39 PM
there seems to be a lot of wedding talk of late.just thinking of things to watch out for.
1: watch out for the letter L painted under your left shoe etc. so when you kneel down :D
2: tell the bar people no doubles for the toast.
3: tell the band you d'ont do the "garter between your teeth job"
max power
19/08/2004, 2:42 PM
aviod thge archway......
make sure the bridesmaid is isn't so drunk that she is able to partake in the second dance with the grooms man...... ( seen that happen a few times )
make sure you have a written contract with all parties you are using for your wedding, from the band to the hotel and everyone in between.
don't force any one into speeches that do not want to do them.....make sure the speeches are short and sweet and that the best man compliments the bridesmaids before the toast....
i could go on but it won't ;)
joeSoap
19/08/2004, 2:45 PM
I was best man at a mates wedding about three years ago. We were in the pub next to the church getting moral courage, and we both headed for the khazi to relieve ourselves....2 minutes, and a long shake later I heard an unmerciful scream. My mate, the groom, caught his lad in the fly of his trousers. It bled, took 20 minutes or so to stop and we had to wrap a roll of toilet tissue around it.He also was crying...literally for a good 10 minutes in the church....some photos taken that day. :D
max power
19/08/2004, 2:47 PM
was his brides name mary by any chance......... :D
joeSoap
19/08/2004, 2:48 PM
was his brides name mary by any chance......... :D
Anne, but nice one!! :D
Peadar
19/08/2004, 2:51 PM
Keep the whole day about the actual marriage, not the band or the beer.
A small wedding with close friends and family is the only way forward.
green goblin
19/08/2004, 2:51 PM
Don't stay up all night drinking with your friends, while the bride gets the raging hump and goes to bed on her own (Happened to a cousin of mine).
Don't black out and nearly fall over when she walks up the aisle (Happened to me).
Don't forget to thank the parents in your speech (Me again).
Do remember to enjoy it. Everyone tells you you look fabulous, you wear silly clothes and look great, you get loads of presents, loads to eat and drink, and at the end of it you go on holiday and are guarenteed a sh*g. As days out go, it's not bad.
don't force any one into speeches that do not want to do them.....make sure the speeches are short and sweet and that the best man compliments the bridesmaids before the toast....
Does that include the groom :(
Got most of that covered.
The two granny's are invited, but no person under 15 is allowed.
Not doing the garter thing, although probably will do the tunnel.
No doubles or cocktails for the toast.
Don't be forced into having wine on the top table (Bulmers for the Groom, Bud for the Bride thanks)
Two rules for the band and DJ, they've been told that they won't get paid if they play "You'll Never Walk Alone" or "Blue Moon".
the 12 th man
19/08/2004, 2:58 PM
[QUOTE=green goblin, while the bride gets the raging hump and goes to bed on her own (Happened to a cousin of mine).
[/QUOTE]
nice to see the bride got her priorities right :D ;) :eek:
max power
19/08/2004, 3:04 PM
Bet you never thought you'd hear this Macy.....but best of luck with the wedding.
btw i WILL NOT play you'll never walk alone, i turned down a wedding a while ago for that reason.....
for your speech, just stand up and say.....i'm a man of few words.....and sit down, get a laugh every time.
Peadar....lets have a game of notice the tight cork boy.....
Peadar
19/08/2004, 3:06 PM
No no no no no no no a thousand times no.
Noone ever says, 'the night was crap but the Exchange of Vows was lovely'. Many won't even go to the ceremony anyway, so don't worry about the marriage. .
I wasn't talking about the ceremony as such but that people should remember why they're there. Was at a mates wedding where everyone there was a close friend or direct relation. The whole day was about them, not about getting píssed. Yes the band were good but the people there would have had a good night regardless because it was a great occassion.
tiktok
19/08/2004, 3:07 PM
1. Keep a mobile handy because stuff will go wrong at the last minute :cool:
2. Remember to Turn it off in the church
3. Limit the time with the photographer, all the photos look the same anyway (and in every album, you can see the exact momne twhen it lasted too long, i.e. when the smile turns to a grimace)
4. When your speech is done, do not knock back a bottle of wine, because you might have to get back up. :o
5. Learn how to tie a cravat ahead of the day if that's what you choose
6. Forget about whether everybody else is having a good time, and have one yourself.
and really really important...
7. Remember to thank and compliment your wife on how lovely she's looking on her big day :D :D although no-one could possibly forget that, could they. :eek:
green goblin
19/08/2004, 3:07 PM
Oh, the music. What a nightmare that is. My Dad wanted all his diddly diddly cronies, my wife's Mum wanted a string quartet. We wanted a Ramones tribute band.
Ended up with a mobile disco, same as everyone. We brought our own Ramones records with us, through.
The whole day was about them, not about getting píssed.
It's not about getting píssed :confused: :D
5. Learn how to tie a cravat ahead of the day if that's what you choose
Now that's one to remember.
Peadar
19/08/2004, 3:12 PM
It's not about getting píssed :confused: :D
Hopefully you'll only get married once Macy so you'll never know which is better, being merry or píssed ;)
green goblin
19/08/2004, 3:14 PM
Hopefully you'll only get married once Macy so you'll never know which is better, being merry or píssed ;)
Amen to that
parnell ranger
19/08/2004, 3:27 PM
[QUOTE=green goblin, while the bride gets the raging hump and goes to bed on her own (Happened to a cousin of mine).
nice to see the bride got her priorities right :D ;) :eek:[/QUOTE]
yea a ragin hump sounds ok :D
green goblin
19/08/2004, 4:22 PM
yea a ragin hump sounds ok :D
Aah, but they're still together.
Ain't love grand? :D :D :D
the 12 th man
20/08/2004, 7:29 AM
dont bring your mother in law on the honeymoon.
if people are throwing rice at the happy couple :rolleyes: make sure its not ambrosia :D
green goblin
20/08/2004, 8:28 AM
Da Bride Shows...... :rolleyes:
And her pappy's got a shotgun. ;)
liamon
20/08/2004, 10:14 AM
......
7. Remember to thank and compliment your wife on how lovely she's looking on her big day :D :D although no-one could possibly forget that, could they. :eek:
:o Will I ever be allowed to forget that?
Thanks for reminding me. Wedding anniversary next week.
the 12 th man
20/08/2004, 10:23 AM
dont choose a day where there is a major distraction on tv like an irish soccer match etc.
friend of mine got married on the same day as live-aid .
i d'ont need to tell you where most of the younger people spent the day.
Jim Smith
20/08/2004, 12:18 PM
Watch out for 'comedians'.
I was at a wedding where the father of the groom got up and said "Looking at Aileen today I can see that me son certainly didn't marry her for her brains." This was followed by about 10 very uneasy seconds then half of the place erupted with laughter. Just after the meal I saw him being pushed out the door by his wife. Dead Man Walking or what?
I was also at one on a Saturday where the groom read out the football results so nobody would have to slip away during the meal...
green goblin
20/08/2004, 1:00 PM
Went to a great wedding the day Princess Di was buried. Fantastic journey down from London to Bristol, not a soul on the roads. If the German Lady pops her clogs in summer, I'll be off to the beach like a shot. Have the place to meself.
Well no more foot.ie wedding speak. This is the single Macy signing off forever*, chat to you all in 5 and a bit weeks as the married Macy :D
*unless I get bored next week. ;)
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