weddings:the big day:what could possibly go wrong

**the 12 th man** · 19/08/2004, 2:39 PM

there seems to be a lot of wedding talk of late.just thinking of things to watch out for.

1: watch out for the letter L painted under your left shoe etc. so when you kneel down

2: tell the bar people no doubles for the toast.
3: tell the band you d'ont do the "garter between your teeth job"

**max power** · 19/08/2004, 2:42 PM

aviod thge archway......

make sure the bridesmaid is isn't so drunk that she is able to partake in the second dance with the grooms man...... ( seen that happen a few times )

make sure you have a written contract with all parties you are using for your wedding, from the band to the hotel and everyone in between.

don't force any one into speeches that do not want to do them.....make sure the speeches are short and sweet and that the best man compliments the bridesmaids before the toast....

i could go on but it won't

**joeSoap** · 19/08/2004, 2:45 PM

I was best man at a mates wedding about three years ago. We were in the pub next to the church getting moral courage, and we both headed for the khazi to relieve ourselves....2 minutes, and a long shake later I heard an unmerciful scream. My mate, the groom, caught his lad in the fly of his trousers. It bled, took 20 minutes or so to stop and we had to wrap a roll of toilet tissue around it.He also was crying...literally for a good 10 minutes in the church....some photos taken that day.

**max power** · 19/08/2004, 2:47 PM

was his brides name mary by any chance.........

**joeSoap** · 19/08/2004, 2:48 PM

Originally Posted by max power

was his brides name mary by any chance.........

Anne, but nice one!!

**Peadar** · 19/08/2004, 2:51 PM

Keep the whole day about the actual marriage, not the band or the beer.
A small wedding with close friends and family is the only way forward.

**green goblin** · 19/08/2004, 2:51 PM

Don't stay up all night drinking with your friends, while the bride gets the raging hump and goes to bed on her own (Happened to a cousin of mine).

Don't black out and nearly fall over when she walks up the aisle (Happened to me).

Don't forget to thank the parents in your speech (Me again).

Do remember to enjoy it. Everyone tells you you look fabulous, you wear silly clothes and look great, you get loads of presents, loads to eat and drink, and at the end of it you go on holiday and are guarenteed a sh*g. As days out go, it's not bad.

**Macy** · 19/08/2004, 2:56 PM

Originally Posted by max power

don't force any one into speeches that do not want to do them.....make sure the speeches are short and sweet and that the best man compliments the bridesmaids before the toast....

Does that include the groom

Got most of that covered.

The two granny's are invited, but no person under 15 is allowed.

Not doing the garter thing, although probably will do the tunnel.

No doubles or cocktails for the toast.

Don't be forced into having wine on the top table (Bulmers for the Groom, Bud for the Bride thanks)

Two rules for the band and DJ, they've been told that they won't get paid if they play "You'll Never Walk Alone" or "Blue Moon".

**the 12 th man** · 19/08/2004, 2:58 PM

[QUOTE=green goblin, while the bride gets the raging hump and goes to bed on her own (Happened to a cousin of mine).

[/QUOTE]

nice to see the bride got her priorities right

**max power** · 19/08/2004, 3:04 PM

Bet you never thought you'd hear this Macy.....but best of luck with the wedding.

btw i WILL NOT play you'll never walk alone, i turned down a wedding a while ago for that reason.....

for your speech, just stand up and say.....i'm a man of few words.....and sit down, get a laugh every time.

Peadar....lets have a game of notice the tight cork boy.....

**Peadar** · 19/08/2004, 3:06 PM

Originally Posted by Conor74

No no no no no no no a thousand times no.

Noone ever says, 'the night was crap but the Exchange of Vows was lovely'. Many won't even go to the ceremony anyway, so don't worry about the marriage. .

I wasn't talking about the ceremony as such but that people should remember why they're there. Was at a mates wedding where everyone there was a close friend or direct relation. The whole day was about them, not about getting píssed. Yes the band were good but the people there would have had a good night regardless because it was a great occassion.

**tiktok** · 19/08/2004, 3:07 PM

1. Keep a mobile handy because stuff will go wrong at the last minute

2. Remember to Turn it off in the church
3. Limit the time with the photographer, all the photos look the same anyway (and in every album, you can see the exact momne twhen it lasted too long, i.e. when the smile turns to a grimace)
4. When your speech is done, do not knock back a bottle of wine, because you might have to get back up.

5. Learn how to tie a cravat ahead of the day if that's what you choose
6. Forget about whether everybody else is having a good time, and have one yourself.

and really really important...

7. Remember to thank and compliment your wife on how lovely she's looking on her big day

although no-one could possibly forget that, could they.

**green goblin** · 19/08/2004, 3:07 PM

Oh, the music. What a nightmare that is. My Dad wanted all his diddly diddly cronies, my wife's Mum wanted a string quartet. We wanted a Ramones tribute band.
Ended up with a mobile disco, same as everyone. We brought our own Ramones records with us, through.