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Thread: Sorry about the format

  1. #1
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    Sorry about the format

    Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know
    everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
    Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how
    about Tom
    Cruise?"

    "No drama's boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove
    > >it."
    > > > >>
    > > > >>So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom
    > >Cruise's
    > >door
    > >and
    > > > >>sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave!
    > > > >>
    > > > >> What's happenin?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"
    > >Although
    > > > >>impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave
    > >Cruise's
    > >house,
    > > > >>he tells Ian that he thinks Dave's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
    > > > >>
    > > > >> "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush,"
    > >his boss
    > > > >>quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out
    > >to
    > > > >>Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots
    > >Dave on
    > >the
    > > > >>tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a
    > >surprise,I
    > >was
    > > > >>just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in
    > >and
    > >let's
    > > > >>have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
    > > > >>
    > > > >>Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally
    > >convinced.
    > >After
    > > > >>they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to
    > >Dave, who
    > > > >>again implores him to name anyone else.
    > > > >>
    > > > >>"The pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are
    > >from
    > >Poland,
    > > > >>and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome.
    > >Dave and
    > >his
    > > > >>boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave
    > >says,
    > >"This
    > > > >>will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these
    > >people.
    > >Tell
    > > > >>you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and
    > >I'll
    > >come
    > >out
    > > > >>on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd
    > >headed
    > > > >>toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges
    > >with
    > >the
    > > > >>Pope on the balcony but by the time Dave returns, he finds that
    > >his
    > >boss
    > >has
    > > > >>fainted and is surrounded by paramedics.
    > > > >>
    > > > >>Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"
    > > > >>
    > > > >>His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the
    > >Pope
    > >came
    > > > >>out on the balcony and the man next to me said
    > > > >>
    > > > >> "Who the f*#k's that on the balcony with Dave?"

  2. #2
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    Maybe this should be in off topic

    It is as strange as you like anyhoo !!

    _________________________________

    >1994 Bizarre Suicide
    >
    >1994's MOST BIZARRE SUICIDE
    >
    >At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American
    >Association for Forensic Science, AAFS President Don
    >Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with
    >the legal complications of a bizarre death.
    >
    >Here is the story:
    >
    >"On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body
    >of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun
    >wound of the head. The decedent had jumped from the
    >top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide
    >he left a note indicating his despondency).
    >
    >As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted
    >by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him
    >instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was
    >aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth
    >floor level to protect some window washers and that
    >Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide
    >anyway because of this."
    >
    >"Ordinarily," Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets
    >out to commit suicide ultimately succeeds, even though
    >the mechanism might not be what he intended. That Opus
    >was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below
    >probably would not have changed his mode of death from
    >suicide to homicide.
    >
    >But the fact that his suicidal intent would not have
    >been successful caused the medical examiner to feel
    >that he had homicide on his hands. "The room on the
    >ninth floor whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied
    >by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and
    >he was threatening her with the shotgun. He was so
    >upset that, when he pulled the trigger, he completely
    >missed his wife and the pellets went through the a window
    >striking Opus.
    >
    >"When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject
    >B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject
    >B. When confronted with this charge, the old man and
    >his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the
    >shotgun was loaded. The old man said it was his long-
    >standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded
    >shotgun. He had no intention to murder her - therefore,
    >the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident. That
    >is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
    >
    >"The continuing investigation turned up a witness who
    >saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun approximately
    >six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired
    >that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support
    >and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to
    >use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the
    >expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
    >The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the
    >son for the death of Ronald Opus.
    >
    >There was an exquisite twist. "Further investigation
    >revealed that the son [Ronald Opus] had become increasingly
    >despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer
    >his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-
    >story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun
    >blast through a ninth story window.
    >
    >"The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide."
    >
    >If true, the jumper is guilty of attempted murder but
    >in the process he accidentally got himself killed.
    >It was definitely not death by suicide! Since he did
    >not die by suicide, even though it started out that
    >way. I think the medical examiner was stumped. I consider
    >it accidental death with extenuating circumstances.
    >
    The SFAI are the governing body for grassroots football in Ireland, not the FAI. Its success or the lack of is all down to them.

  3. #3
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    phukkin hell! Thats an odd one!

  4. #4
    Mack Daddy gustavo's Avatar
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    thats very similar to a story told in the epilogue of the film magnolia i wonder is it taken from tthat film? very good film by the way

  5. #5
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    Originally posted by gustavo
    thats very similar to a story told in the epilogue of the film magnolia i wonder is it taken from tthat film? very good film by the way
    isn't that a chick flick

  6. #6
    Mack Daddy gustavo's Avatar
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    i think ( and hope) you are confusing that with steel magnolias which i have never ever seen under any circumstances!

  7. #7
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    http://www.magnoliamovie.com/MAGinfo.html

    On one random day in the San Fernando Valley, a dying father, a young wife, a male caretaker, a famous lost son, a police officer in love, a boy genius, an ex-boy genius, a game show host and an estranged daughter will each become part of a dazzling multiplicity of plots, but one story.

    Through a collusion of coincidence, chance, human action, shared media, past history and divine intervention they will weave and warp through each other's lives on a day that builds to an unforgettable climax. Some will seek forgiveness, others escape. Some will mend frayed bonds, others will be exposed.

    Magnolia is a mosaic of American life woven through a series of comic and poignant vignettes. It is a portrait of a lonely city sometimes called up short on love. It is a personal exploration of the hidden elements of crisis. It is a story about putting things right again.
    Sounds like a chick flick to me, well spotted Joe. Gustavo, GET ORF MOI LAAAAND!

    adam

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    Magnolia is definitely not a chick flick! My girlfriend said it was sick!
    It's a pretty strange, almost arthouse type of thing, with Tom Cruise playing the part of a guy who writes books and gives seminars to men on how to treat women like sh*t! It's a really bizarre movie with a completely off the wall ending but worth a look. As regards the prologue, it's just a collection of true and strange ways that some people have died, that the director put in for the simple reason that he liked the stories, (or so he said in an interview)..........

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