Canadian Grand Prix

**eoinh** · 31/05/2004, 11:31 AM

Michael Schumacher Wins Canadian Grand Prix - May 30th 2004

Ferrari driver Michael Schumacher has already won the Canadian Grand Prix, nearly two weeks ahead of the second placed driver who has only just finished today’s race – the European Grand Prix held at the Nurburgring, which Michael Schumacher won last Thursday.

Race organisers are at a loss to explain how this has managed to occur, suggesting it can only be down to Michael Schumacher’s extraordinary pace.

“The fact remain that although the Ferrari is a quick car, it isn’t that quick,” F1 analyst Keith Wilson explained, “Sure, it must be quick to finish a race two weeks ahead of its next closest competitor but that’s only when it’s being driven by Michael Schumacher. When Barrichello drives it he’s still mixing it with the BARs and the Renaults.

“If Schumacher’s pace is entirely down to the car then Barrichello must be really, really rubbish.”

The F1 audience around the globe has announced their outrage at Schumacher’s dominance of the sport claiming that it is very boring, not to mention confusing, to have a driver winning a race before it takes place.

Chuck Hankman vented his frustrations: “Living near to the circuit I was hoping to go and see the Indionapolis Grand Prix in 3 weeks time. But judging by Schumacher’s pace he’s going to have already won that race by Tuesday – so what is the point of me going to see it if he’s already won?”

President Max Moxley of the FIA claims he understands the fans concerns and plans to radically alter the rules of Formula 1 to compensate:

“People are going to start turning off of Formula 1 if the current trend continues,” he explained, “We can’t have Ferrari and Michael Schumacher winning all the time. As a result I intend to implement a radical change to the sport whereby the car to complete the course in the slowest time will win the race.”

Although many of the teams are said to be against Max Mosley’s latest suggestions, it appears that McLaren have given him their full support:

“Many people will be against Max Mosley’s latest suggestions,” Ron Dennis commented, “However, Formula 1 has seen many radical changes in the past few years, like the new qualifying system, that people claimed would never work. Granted, that didn’t work which is why we are going back to an adapted version of the old system, but we can see a definite upside to Mr Mosley’s latest suggestion.”

It is also rumoured that McLaren have been lobbying for a 10 point bonus for the team that can produce the biggest cloud of oil smoke in each race.