Funny and True

**sadloserkid** · 16/07/2003, 11:08 AM

> 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square
ones.
>
> 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl
crying.
>
> 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in
a pub is when your
> pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a
complete stranger.
>
> 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat
green crisps.
>
> 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the
digits 55378008 into a
> calculator.
>
> 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
>
> 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel
really manly.
>
> 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the
law or not to have a
> fire in your back garden.
>
> 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
>
> 11) You never know where to look when eating a
banana.
>
> 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet
cat.
>
> 13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel
manly.
>
> 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always
turn up a bouncy ball.
>
> 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking
horses.
>
> 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into
your school.
>
> 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as
schoolchild is to call your
> teacher mum or dad.
>
> 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it
would kill you at the
> first given opportunity.
>
> 19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
>
> 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee
flushed half way
> through and then raced against the flush.
>
> 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
>
> 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a
Frisbee.
>
> 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

>
> 24) You never ever run out of salt.
>
> 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>
> 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>
> 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily
feel when you've got
> your hand or head stuck in something.
>
> 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat
hangers.
>
> 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met
anybody who has had their
> arm broken by a swan.
>
> 30) The most painful household incident is wearing
socks and stepping on
> an upturned plug.
>
> 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
>
> 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put
aside a thin piece of wood
> specifically to stir paint with.
>
> 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their
nose.
>
> 34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
>
> 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.