Oh Us Nattering Biddies

[jebus]

A question over on the Limerick forum just reminded me of this one.

Was over at my girlfriend's then apartment two years ago and a few of us were settling in to watch Aliens (or possibly Alien, can't fully remember), as the opening credits rolled and we got a shot of a spceship floating through space one of the girls turned and asked 'is this a true story?'

Remains the single most dumbest thing I've ever heard, although in fairness to the girl as soon as she said it she buried her face in her hands and stayed quiet during the laughter that followed for the next couple of months

[stann]

Nah! - the literal cracks produced from the fit of laughter were terminal I'm afraid!!!!!

Still, free car, so, you know, every cloud...

[MojoPin]

this thread has reinded me of a tale associated with my uncle.

my uncle got a job working in the local dockyard. the first day on the job he was asked could he operate a crane. he didnt have a clue so they trained him up! now this crane was attached to a truck, big heavy duty stuff ya know. so after a whole days training picking up stuff holding stuff moving stuff he was given the keys to the truck and told to move some stuff at the far side of the yard around.

my uncle looks at yer man stupidly and says "sure i dont know how to drive!!!!"

same fella was once in his neighbours house doing some DIY and was offered a cup of tea! how many sugars do you take in your tea? " i dont know youll have to ask my wife that!

[osarusan]

My parents have a story about me from when I was only 6 or 7. I have no memory of this at all, but the guy involved was a close family friend and related the story basically word for word.

The friend called our house, looking for my father. I answered, and simply said, "He's not here". The guy asked if I knew where he was and I said "No". He then asked "What time will be home?", to which I replied "I don't know". Finally, using a different tactic, he asked "well, what time do you have dinner in your house?". My answer was "Oh, you could have dinner anytime around here". At that the guy burst into laughter and said he'd call back.

[Wolfie]

Christ Stann. I was watching the remake of "The Omen" at the weekend. Check you're post count!!! Spooky.

http://foot.ie/showpost.php?p=883616&postcount=42

[Bluebeard]

Christ Stann. I was watching the remake of "The Omen" at the weekend. Check you're post count!!! Spooky.

http://foot.ie/showpost.php?p=883616&postcount=42

Is the re-make any good at all? As a rule I tend to avoid the re-made horror. The only one I can remember that was an improvement was Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. The Dawn Of The Dead remake wasn't bad but not an improvemnet on content and comment.

[Wolfie]

Is the re-make any good at all? As a rule I tend to avoid the re-made horror. The only one I can remember that was an improvement was Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. The Dawn Of The Dead remake wasn't bad but not an improvemnet on content and comment.

I fell asleep half way through it which is not the greatest ringing endorsement, although it was late on Sky Movies.

From what I saw, it doesn't take any liberties with the original film. Practically all of the key scenes are re-created as opposed to having a new interpretation.

[jebus]

Just thought of another incident last year whilst reading the Brits thread.

My girlfriend's cousin was getting married last year, so she went off with her family to the wedding. She told me that the bride was the grandaughter of 'some soccer guy' (she doesn't watch football at all), turns out it was Ken Bates grandaughter. Anyway she was sat at the same table as Bates and his wife and got talking to them (she says they are really nice) and text me who she was talking to when he told her he was the chairman of Leeds.

Being a fan of Sheffield Wednesday, and having a few pints in me I asked her to call me, which she did, where I proceeded to to tell her that Bates was a scumbag and Leeds were rubbish, what I didn't realise was that she was relaying this information to Ken himself, who was sat beside her, who in turn started loudly saying 'I hear your boyfriend is a Sheffield Wednesday supporter, and he's from Limerick, you do realise that's two pikeys rolled into one don't you?'

I thought it was a funny putdown anyway

[osarusan]

J
and having a few pints in me I asked her to call me, which she did,

Cheapskate!

[paul_oshea]

osasuran, can you tell me, did you mean it like:

We have dinner at any time in the day
or as an invitation to the guy to say he would get dinner anytime?!

I don't see how the question "what time do you have dinner here", would lead to the answer from you as an invitation, moreso that you were saying ye have dinner at anytime during the day, but for a 7 year old to respond to answer like that would be rather quirky, and could be seen as funny.

[osarusan]

We have dinner at any time in the day

is correct. He was trying to get a definite time when my father would be available, but my answer gave him no help at all.

Maybe you had to be there

[paul_oshea]

is correct. He was trying to get a definite time when my father would be available, but my answer gave him no help at all.

Maybe you had to be there

No, It sounds like a very old fashioned response, thats how I would see it, and not an answer one would expect from a 7 year old, so thats why I would find it funny. However it could be seen that you were avoiding the question that he was aksing and being a cute little hoor, i remember as a child my parents would tell me not to say somethings to certain people ( im sure other ppl were told the same ) and this is also something that would make him laugh, as though you were being cute and not giving away anything. Finally, it could also be taken as a child just not having the cop on to see what the question being asked was and just giving a very innocent answer that would also make it rather funny. Anyhow there is loads of dif interpretations of it, I just think my mind sees more things sometimes than others and that other people would just see the "actual" answer as funny....

[kingdom hoop]

Maybe you had to be there

When starting the thread I figured that utterance may pop up occasionally so no fault on your behalf. Just tell it a little better and the reader will feel as though they are there.

As practice turn my trip to the cinema last week, where someone let out an earnest yawn at a most opportune moment, into as hilarious a moment for everyone as it was for me at the time. It really was hilarious timing, at a complete silence between two scenes.

I just think my mind sees more things sometimes than others

Wow! You sense humour from strange places too? My friends call me "Batty" because of my uncanny ability to sense humour waves that the untrained intellect never detects!

[paul_oshea]

Wow! You sense humour from strange places too? My friends call me "Batty" because of my uncanny ability to sense humour waves that the untrained intellect never detects!

Yes I do, I think ( one )my brother and my father are the same, hence the love for the rise and fall of reginald perrin. I also think Dumb and Dumber has far more (intelligent maybe ) subtle gags, than most people realise, especially ( women ) those who dont find it funny. The tomato sauce launch into the mouth after eating chilli for example and the one where he says "well, see you later guys", most ppl wouldn't find that line for example funny.

Another example is basically the 3 of us would laugh at a line, but for a completely different reason behind it than the majority of ppl would laugh at, plus my father and brother would laugh at something in the same line different to myself. Sometimes I think thats the genius of some comedians/writers realising this and being able to tap into it. Or maybe they are just lucky

Basically the example osasuran gave above would be seen by most in only one way and I'm pretty sure I didnt see that side of it as the funny side....

[kingdom hoop]

I suppose being a joke yourself helps you get jokes.


Yeah that's right, I just make jokes.

[osarusan]

osasuran

Who??

Paul, you've just insulted me terribly in Japanese. Cut open your belly by midnight.

[paul_oshea]

Who??

Paul, you've just insulted me terribly in Japanese. Cut open your belly by midnight.

Osarusan

I assume you are joking, my japanese is very rusty, if not apologies.

[kingdom hoop]

I assume you are joking

Correct Paul.

Funny how everyone is joking but you.

[Bluebeard]

One for Paul:

I didn't get where I am today by not spotting a possible gag when I see one!

[Risteard]

We spent last Saturday thinking of something different to do with the weekend to the point where I went to my own place and she said
"Look, you go home, have something to eat and think of something to do."
So I went home and decided to check the cinema times.
I rang her and in my triumphant tone announced my plan without a hint of a hello.

"THERE WILL BE BLOOD!!!!!!!"

To which she replied
"Ya, I know, I took my last pill last night."





The funny part being that I told this story to my menopausal new female colleagues in work on the Monday . . . . . . . to apalled glances.
What was I thinking?