Cheer me up!

**Magicme** · 30/10/2007, 7:06 PM

Just had someone shouting down the phone at me coz they misinterpreted something I wrote and now am all annoyed. Trying to do match report and notes and cant concentrate coz I feel sick.

Someone give me something to smile about so can do my work!

**dahamsta** · 30/10/2007, 7:20 PM

Cheer up ya wussy bitch. No offense like.

(I got threatened with legal action by a moron today, cheer me up.)

**Paddyfield** · 30/10/2007, 7:28 PM

HOPE THIS WORKS......

A normal 30 something, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks,

"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island.

I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he said. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?"

She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing.

"You mean...", and he swallows excitedly and tears start to
form in his eyes
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"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports"

.

**Magicme** · 30/10/2007, 7:28 PM

Yeah saw that. What is wrong with some people! Sometimes you cant do right no matter how you try. The blonde bleach must have seeped into my brains making me incapable of thinking straight and thats why I get myself into trouble! So what's your excuse dahamsta?

Oh and you made me laugh so no offence taken!

**dahamsta** · 30/10/2007, 7:30 PM

Bannage. Obviously.

adam /natural blond

**Magicme** · 30/10/2007, 7:30 PM

Thanks Paddyfield that did make me laugh too!

**Paddyfield** · 30/10/2007, 7:33 PM

Sit back and think of Monaghan United playing away to Barcelona in the Champions League in 2009

**strangeirish** · 30/10/2007, 7:33 PM

Originally Posted by Magicme

Just had someone shouting down the phone at me coz they misinterpreted something I wrote and now am all annoyed. Trying to do match report and notes and cant concentrate coz I feel sick.
Someone give me something to smile about so can do my work!

Was it Monkfish????....ROFLMAO

**Magicme** · 30/10/2007, 7:39 PM

I wish! Wouldnt have to worry bout the consequences as much if it had been.

God I wish it was as easy as thinkin bout playin in Europe.

**dahamsta** · 30/10/2007, 8:01 PM

Monaghan has a football club?

Who knew!?

adam

**Anto McC** · 30/10/2007, 8:07 PM

Judging from the last time i went there for a game, very few people.

**Magicme** · 30/10/2007, 8:08 PM

Smartarses the pair of ya!

**paul_oshea** · 30/10/2007, 8:15 PM

Originally Posted by dahamsta

Monaghan has a football club?

Who knew!?

adam

ya, they do, got to an all ireland quarter final this year

**Magicme** · 30/10/2007, 8:20 PM

Oi Mr O'Shea behave. That was the County not Monaghan Harps!

**cheifo** · 30/10/2007, 8:50 PM

"Nobody can make you feel bad about yourself unless you give them your prior permission"
Roosvelt(I think

)

**Magicme** · 30/10/2007, 9:03 PM

I dont usually let things like this get to me but it may have negative implications for the club and after my family, fella, friends and football nothing else really matters to me!