Internet Cafes

**jebus** · 20/07/2007, 11:38 AM

Anyone else think internet cafes in Ireland are the nexus of the universe? You get all sorts of people in here, from the goths talking loudly in the corner about some arsehole band, to the Africans laughing away at the counter, to the Chinese girl who needs everyone to repeat everything twice (Can I have two computers? One or two? Two), to the pre-teen scumbags talking about who's on Bebo in their high pitch whine, to the teenage scumbags talking about who they are meeting off of Bebo (just heard: that's your one I'm meant to be meeting....WHERE'S MY WIDGET?!), to the Spanish students looking alone and terrified, to the so obviously a pervert he even wheres a trenchcoat guy, who has booked the computer beside him and put down his coat on the chair, so no-one can see what he is looking at, to the Polish guys who, in stark contrast to the trenchcoat man, are looking up porn in full view of everyone, to people like me, randomly laughing at this madness and gettng funny stares off of everyone (the WIDGET?! thing in particular).

Sometimes you just gotta love how horribly weird this life is

**paul_oshea** · 20/07/2007, 1:04 PM

jebus, its not just internet cafes in dublin.....I think you ought to do a comedy sketch on this. You have it down to a T. Why are africans always the loudest? All the time, in the supermarket, on the streets, everywhere?

**Bluebeard** · 20/07/2007, 2:50 PM

Too true Jebus - they are the best places on earth, the one place where class, creed and ethnic barriers were torn asunder as paddy and puritan, mincer and minger sat side by side. This is starting to change as wi-fi means those who can afford laptops can dock down in fashionable café-bars, while the likes of myself and other wastrels are still reliant on internet caffs or work.

Originally Posted by paul_oshea

Why are africans always the loudest? All the time, in the supermarket, on the streets, everywhere?

God be with the days when it used to be the Spanish...

Though a mate of mine's (Irish) girlfriend is actually the loudest person I have ever met - I had to leave the room watching the Eurovision with her once (so what, I'm happy with my sexuality), because her shouts of disgust were so loud when no-one was awarding points to our wojus number. And this was BEFORE she started drinking

**strangeirish** · 20/07/2007, 2:51 PM

Internet Cafes??? You just described Newbridge!

**paul_oshea** · 20/07/2007, 2:54 PM

God be with the days when it used to be the Spanish...

...ah i remember that summer in dublin, the liffey it stank like hell, and the loud, obnoxious hot spanish women walking up graftton street. My first summer in dublin, god they were annoying.

BlackGoatee your posts are getting funnier by the post.

**paul_oshea** · 20/07/2007, 3:09 PM

I shouldnt laugh but that is quality

I had a worse one, but the internet forum isnt the place for it.

**Wolfie** · 20/07/2007, 3:12 PM

These loud Africans will drive the Irish to drink.

**Bluebeard** · 20/07/2007, 3:44 PM

Originally Posted by Wolfie

These loud Africans will drive the Irish to drink.

**Raheny Red** · 21/07/2007, 10:13 PM

I was caught viewing porn in an Internet Cafe

**sligoman** · 21/07/2007, 11:19 PM

Originally Posted by Raheny Red

I was caught viewing porn in an Internet Cafe

Barred for life now?

EDIT: I actually know a certain Longford Town fan who was caught viewing Aine Chambers old site in an internet cafe so that's practically porn

.

**Anto McC** · 21/07/2007, 11:38 PM

The original post sounds like a diet coke ad or something.

View porn all you like lads just as long as you don't take your twanger out and start playing with it,you're not harming anyone. I've never used an internet cafe despite having a friend who owns one.

**Raheny Red** · 21/07/2007, 11:47 PM

Originally Posted by Anto McC

View porn all you like lads just as long as you don't take your twanger out and start playing with it,you're not harming anyone.

Worst thing was I got kicked out and couldn't even finish it off

**jebus** · 22/07/2007, 12:21 PM

There was an internet cafe in Cork, near the 24 hour arcade on McCurtain Street, that used to host all sorts of unsociables during the wee hours. I remember being out with a few lads one night, and we ended up drinking by the Lee after all the pubs/clubs had shut. Eventually we ran out of beer, but we realised that there was a trucker bar opening up at 6 A.M. and we only had an hour to kill til it opened so we headed into the 24 hour internet cafe for the hour. No word of a lie there had to be three guys in there who had fallen asleep mid-stroke and were now just sleeping there, flies undone, with porn on the screen in front of. We changed their pages to some gay porn and hung around to see what their reactions would be when they woke up. It ranged from confusion to embarrassment to one guy, who just shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'ah **** it', or maybe it was ' not again!'

**osarusan** · 23/07/2007, 4:11 AM

Originally Posted by jebus

There was an internet cafe in Cork, near the 24 hour arcade on McCurtain Street, that used to host all sorts of unsociables during the wee hours. I remember being out with a few lads one night, and we ended up drinking by the Lee after all the pubs/clubs had shut. Eventually we ran out of beer, but we realised that there was a trucker bar opening up at 6 A.M. and we only had an hour to kill til it opened so we headed into the 24 hour internet cafe for the hour. No word of a lie there had to be three guys in there who had fallen asleep mid-stroke and were now just sleeping there, flies undone, with porn on the screen in front of. We changed their pages to some gay porn and hung around to see what their reactions would be when they woke up. It ranged from confusion to embarrassment to one guy, who just shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'ah **** it', or maybe it was ' not again!'

One of them was you, admit it.