QuoteWhy did little Johnny have no friends?
Cos he'd no hands.
An inflatable pupil goes to his inflatable school and is having a
really
bad
day. Bored in his history lesson he gets up and walks out. Walking
down the
corridor he sees the inflatable headmaster walking towards him and
he pulls
a knife out and stabs him.
He runs out of the school. As he gets outside he thinks again "I
hate
school" and pulls his knife out and stabs the inflatable school. He
runs
off
to his inflatable home. Two hours later his inflatable mum is
knocking at
his inflatable bedroom door with the inflatable police. Panicking,
inflatable boy pulls out the knife and stabs himself. Later on in
the
evening he wakes up in inflatable hospital and sees the headmaster
is in
the
inflatable bed next to him. Shaking his deflated head more in
sorrow than
in
anger, the headmaster gravely intones:
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> > >Wait for it.......
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> > >"You've let me down; you've let the school down but, worst of all,
you've
> > >let yourself down"
Why did little Johnny have no friends?
Cos he'd no hands.
How did little Johnny suddenly get loads of friends?
He bought a pack of cigarettes.
Little Johnny and his friends are playing soccer when little johnny falls and concusses.
The medic tells his moron teammate to call Little Johnny an ambulance.
Moron teammate says "Aaaaagh Little Johnny ya ambulance ya"
The medic calls Little Johnnys moron teammate a moron and tells the dopey goalie to support Little Johnys head.
The dopey goalie says "We love you, Little Johnys head, we do"
The ambulance comes and Little Johnny is thrown into the otharcarr.
Little Johnnys idiotic teammates run after the ambulance.
The ambulance driver pulls a few amazing turns but theres still the moron teammate and the stupid goalie there.
He speeds off and eventually only Little Johnnys moron teammate is there.
The ambulance driver stops the ambulance and says
"Little Johnnys moron teammate, What do ya want?"
Little Johnnys moron teammate says "Can i've a boatwith two flakes please?"
A pair of jeans and a shirt are on the door of Mangans late one blustery Cork night.
Two lads walk up at half two.
"Is there any chance we could just get a quick one?"
"Sorry, we're clothes."
A young man goes in to a shopping center.
He buys, 3 little slices of pudding,
2 sausages,
2 rashers,
2 eggs and a
petit pain.
He gets to the till.
Shop assistant says
"Excuse me sir, are you a single man by any chance?"
"Why, yes i am, how did you know?"
"Cos you're an ugly fcuker."
I'm not going into the Bakery anymore.
Ya need a load of dough if you're gonna go in there.
Little Johnny's sitting on the park bench smoking a cigarette when an old man sits down beside him.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you that people who smoke die young?", asked the old man. "No", replied Litlle Johnny, "didn't anyone ever tell you that people who don't mind their own fcuking business get a box in the head?!"
"I don’t want to tempt fate, but Thierry Henry is not having one of his best nights." - RTE co-commentator Jim Beglin, minutes before TH struck the stunning winner.
A jump lead and a brain walk into a bar. The jump lead orders two pints and gets refused.
"Why won't you serve us?", asked the jump lead.
"Cos your mate's out of his head and you look like you're gonna start something", replied the barman.
"I don’t want to tempt fate, but Thierry Henry is not having one of his best nights." - RTE co-commentator Jim Beglin, minutes before TH struck the stunning winner.
Two peanuts walking down the street. One was a-salted.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much a pint is, to which the barman replies: "For you, sir, no charge".
"I don’t want to tempt fate, but Thierry Henry is not having one of his best nights." - RTE co-commentator Jim Beglin, minutes before TH struck the stunning winner.
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