Smart Cork Lad

[James]

Smart Cork Lad....................
This Irish guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Sinead, an Irish
student who is currently working behind the bar, takes his order and
notices his Irish accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a
bit. At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to sleep with him.
Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her
100 quid for the deed. Sinead is travelling the world and because she is
strapped for cash she agrees.
The next night the same guy turns up again and after showing her plenty
of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him
again for 100 quid. She figures in for a penny in for a pound - and it
was fantastic the night before - so she agrees.
This goes on for five nights. On the sixth night the guy comes into the
bar. But this night he orders a beer and just goes and sits in the
corner. Sinead is disappointed and thinks that maybe she should pay him
more attention.
She goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he is from and he
tells her Cork.
"Wow, so am I," she says. "What part of Cork?"
"Montenotte," he says.
"Well holy god - that's amazing," she says, "so am I - what street?", to
which he names the street.
"This is unbelievable," she says, "what number?"
"Number 20," he says, and she is truly gobsmacked.
"You are not going to believe this," she says, "I'm from number 22 - my
parents still live there!"
"I know," he says. "Your da gave me five hundred quid to give you"

[James]

The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then, when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.

Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you". His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane". Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him British Airways.

Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat". Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him P&O Ferries.

Just before his son's eight birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like something to watch films on". Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him MGM Studios and their cinemas, where he watched all his favourite Western Movies.

Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are an inspiration to us all. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son, who had caught the 'Western' movie bug, replied, "Daddy, I would like a cowboy outfit". Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father went and bought him Eircom.

[dahamsta]

Excellent James!

adam

[Sinéad]

Thats like something my Dad would do!!

[James]

11 women were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope
suspended from a crumbling crag on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go.

If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

All the blondes applauded