Beer Theories

**strangeirish** · 23/02/2006, 2:26 PM

Beer Theories

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look
into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be
out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is
better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."

~
Babe Ruth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

~
Lyndon B. Johnson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools."

~ Ernest Hemingway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~
Paul Hornung
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think
not."

~ H. L. Mencken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we
commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to
heaven!"

~ George Bernard
Shaw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~
Benjamin Franklin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave
Barry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER:
HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!

~ W. C.
Fields

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember
"I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

~ Professor Irwin
Corey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
can!

~ Leo Durocher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the" Buffalo Theory"
to his buddy Norm:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the
general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members.! In much the same way, the
human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But
naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's
why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

**ollie** · 23/02/2006, 6:21 PM

Last month, National University of Botswana scientists released the
results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female
hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory
is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and
that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory,
100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then
observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

**Magicme** · 23/02/2006, 7:40 PM

Originally Posted by ollie

Last month, National University of Botswana scientists released the
results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female
hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory
is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and
that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory,
100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then
observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

One word for u boy......PUP!

**ccfcman** · 23/02/2006, 8:15 PM

I have three...

Copy and paste

**Magicme** · 23/02/2006, 8:20 PM

Originally Posted by ccfcman

I have three...

Copy and paste

BTW Toffee Crisps are minging....try some Lindor and u mite get a result!

Oh and on the topic of chocolate....is there anywhere in the country where u can still get the exploding smarties bars??? I crave them once a month and cant get them anywhere!!!

**hamish** · 23/02/2006, 8:55 PM

"Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine."
-David Moulton

"There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation."
John Ciandi

"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
NF Simpson.
Very true

"Last Friday night/Saturday morning, I was as jober a sudge"
Hamish