Lines for your Valentines cards

**hamish** · 07/02/2006, 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by sligoman

Oh, (Vanessa) thou art so gorgeous,
Your eyes so (blue) are like that of a temptress,
With your love you have made me complete,
My passion burns like (Vanny) when she is in heat.

The love you give me spreads like an infection,
Which is why (Nellie) gave me a rejection,
So let me reveal a secret to you,
And then you can decide what you must do.

Heh heh not bad sligoman.

**sligoman** · 07/02/2006, 10:41 PM

Originally Posted by sirhamish

Heh heh not bad sligoman.

, ya fecker ya!

.

**Block G Raptor** · 08/02/2006, 11:43 AM

when I saw u at the bus stop I thought u were a Ride
but when I got closer i nearly FCUKING DIED !!

**Magicme** · 08/02/2006, 5:36 PM

Originally Posted by HuRya

Do they sell valentines cards in Monaghan?

Yeah but they dont pay men to send them to me!

**hamish** · 08/02/2006, 6:15 PM

Originally Posted by Magicme

Yeah but they dont pay men to send them to me!

Don't worry Magicme - we all love ya. You're cool.

**ccfcgirl** · 08/02/2006, 10:21 PM

roses are red your zits are too if you need some help I squeeze them with you

**hamish** · 09/02/2006, 1:37 AM

Originally Posted by ccfcgirl

roses are red your zits are too if you need some help I squeeze them with you

Yuk, that's yukky ccfcgirl.

**Magicme** · 10/02/2006, 1:18 PM

Originally Posted by sirhamish

Don't worry Magicme - we all love ya. You're cool.

Am too old to be cool but thanks for the sentiment!

Anyone sending flowers c/o Century Homes Park, please note that I dont like roses but do like Sunflowers and tulips (especially purple ones!)

**Block G Raptor** · 10/02/2006, 4:15 PM

Originally Posted by Magicme

Am too old to be cool but thanks for the sentiment!

Anyone sending flowers c/o Century Homes Park, please note that I dont like roses but do like Sunflowers and tulips (especially purple ones!)

I Like tulips on my organ !

Taaaaaaxxxxxxiiiiiii for BGR

**Pauro 76** · 13/02/2006, 11:51 AM

Not a line but Asda over here have a Valentines Day card you can buy for just 8p!!!!!!! going to use that as a joke for my girlfriend tomorrow to wind her up!

**Dazzy** · 13/02/2006, 10:10 PM

Just get her a big box with a note inside "A box full of my love" Bet she will be ****ed off then

**CollegeTillIDie** · 16/02/2006, 10:56 AM

Too late for 2006 so in preparation for 2007 and oldie but goldie written by the bard Traditional !

Roses are pink
Violets are purple
Many Poems rhyme
This isn't one of them

**strangeirish** · 16/02/2006, 5:25 PM

Bit of help for next year...Some multi-cultural rituals to keep in mind

WHITE WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN

First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN

First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later ~ her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

Not very pc, but funny anyway.