Lines for your Valentines cards

**carrickharp** · 07/02/2006, 1:07 PM

(These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the MOST romantic first line... but the LEAST romantic second line.)

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was p1ssed.

Thought that I could love no other
until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

**Risteard** · 07/02/2006, 1:24 PM

Think i'll adopt

My love, you take my breath away,
what did you eat to fart this way?

for the highly flatulent love of my life.

She'll see the fun side.

**paul_oshea** · 07/02/2006, 1:43 PM

risteard thansk for sharing that about your girlfriend with all of us!

**Magicme** · 07/02/2006, 1:48 PM

Bet he gets extra loving when she finds out!

**Risteard** · 07/02/2006, 1:54 PM

Originally Posted by Magicme

Bet he gets extra loving when she finds out!

Ya, she couldn't give a f uck.
She'd be delighted with a card saying that.

Very eh . . . . ladylike.

**Magicme** · 07/02/2006, 2:27 PM

I would be delighted with a card....

**HuRya** · 07/02/2006, 2:36 PM

Originally Posted by Magicme

I would be delighted with a card....

Do they sell valentines cards in Monaghan?

**carrickharp** · 07/02/2006, 3:39 PM

Originally Posted by Magicme

I would be delighted with a card....

Aw here you go it cost me a good bit did that card

.

**hamish** · 07/02/2006, 6:38 PM

Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's you�re ass.
or
This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't 250 a night
or
I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
or
If you think that love-bite looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
or
Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
or
My love is true, my love will grow
You're the best damn ride in ol' Beeslow
or
My love, please dream of me in sleep?
If not, I'll stick to sh@gging sheep.

Hope the above helps to warm up the romance in the lives of all you young, lusty Footypersons

Hamish - spreading the lurve in Foot.ie.

heh heh

**strangeirish** · 07/02/2006, 6:50 PM

One for sorrow, two for joy
I once was a girl, but am now a boy.

*Wife packing bags as we speak*

Originally Posted by sirhamish

Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's you�re ass.
or
My love, please dream of me in sleep?
If not, I'll stick to sh@gging sheep.

**sligoman** · 07/02/2006, 6:54 PM

"I like your hips, I like your lips,
but most of all, I like your ...."

Finish the sentence

.

**strangeirish** · 07/02/2006, 6:56 PM

Originally Posted by sligoman

"I like your hips, I like your lips,
but most of all, I like your ...."

Finish the sentence

.

Hair????

**sligoman** · 07/02/2006, 7:39 PM

Originally Posted by strangeirish

Hair????

Close but guess again

.

**hamish** · 07/02/2006, 7:47 PM

Originally Posted by sligoman

"I like your hips, I like your lips,
but most of all, I like your ...."

Finish the sentence

.

whips??

Excerpt from a valentine card sent by a Sligo Rovers fan to his one true love.

Oh Nellie, you are mighty,
Especially in your nighty,
With moonlight flits,
Across your tits.
Jesus Christ Almighty.

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, makes your heart go all fuzzy it does.

**The Stars** · 07/02/2006, 9:57 PM

Originally Posted by sligoman

"I like your hips, I like your lips,
but most of all, I like your ...."

Finish the sentence

.

Deltoid Muscles(shoulders)?

**sligoman** · 07/02/2006, 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by The Stars

Deltoid Muscles(shoulders)?

. Just to stop people guessing now, the answer is tits! Most of ye knew, I know, but I just had to say it

.

**hamish** · 07/02/2006, 10:17 PM

Originally Posted by sligoman

. Just to stop people guessing now, the answer is tits! Most of ye knew, I know, but I just had to say it

"Tits" doesn't rhyme with "lips" so I presume you were referring to assonance.

**sligoman** · 07/02/2006, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by sirhamish

"Tits" doesn't rhyme with "lips" so I presume you were referring to assonance.

Trust you to give me an English lesson

**hamish** · 07/02/2006, 10:25 PM

Originally Posted by sligoman

Trust you to give me an English lesson

Ah just messing amigo - know you can take a slagging as good as giving a slagging.

Here's one you can send to..eh......Angel

My Phallic Lover

You're the train inside my tunnel
You're the finger in my glove
You're the gear stick in my gearbox
My god this must be love

You're the drill inside my cavity
You're the handle in my broom
The lead that fills my pencil
I'm your gate and you're my boom

You're the carrot in my crisper
You're the ladder to my loft
You're the pistol in my holster
Mind you don't go off!

You're the sword inside my scabbard
The sausage in my hotdog
You're the French stick in my basket
You're my snake and I'm your log

You're the eel that swims my waterhole
The utensil in my drawers
You're the cork that seals my bottle
Yes it's you that I adore

In my engine you're the piston
You're the toothpaste in my tube
The zucchini in my fettuccini
Oh I'm so in love with you

You're the rat inside my drainpipe
You're the log that burns my fire
The banana in my smoothie
Yes it's you that I desire

You're the bottle in my cooler
The plunger in my loo
Your torpedo fills my submarine
Yes my darling I love you

You are my phallic lover
We are a perfect fit
I'd like to do some things with you
If you'd be up to it?

So take me back to your place
And we can have some fun
It feels just right to hold you tight
As we two become as one

All together now.........aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

**sligoman** · 07/02/2006, 10:31 PM

Oh, (put sheeps name here) thou art so gorgeous,
Your eyes so (eye color here) are like that of a temptress,
With your love you have made me complete,
My passion burns like (pet name) when she is in heat.

The love you give me spreads like an infection,
Which is why (name of sheep who dumped you) gave me a rejection,
So let me reveal a secret to you,
And then you can decide what you must do.