Locker Room from the Times

[Donal81]

i dont think he rates the Eircom League or Eircom League supporters. Like, whens the last time you seen him down Tolka for the european games ?

True, he doesn't seem to cover it. Emmet Malone covers the local stuff fairly well as a balance, though, doesn't he? I wouldn't know, I don't follow an EL team.

[gspain]

Emmet Malone is clearly a football fan as well as a football journalist. The IT's quantity of domestic football coverage is very poor but the quality is excellent.

Re Tom Humphries, obviously people choose their own sports but he is writing about football and it can be nauseating when he keeps making positive references to the GAA while attacking local football.

Gerry Thornley is the IT rugby corr - he is also (or at least used to be) a UCD fan and a keen football fan. Now I can't recall any article of his where he would compare football favourably to rugby nor would I expect him to.

[Donal81]

I don't think he does it to take a pop at football but moreso at the football authorities. His 100 reasons why GAA is better than football was pushing it and I can see why it would bug a football fan (coincidentally, I found myself agreeing with a good deal of them and I'm a football fan first, mainly about attitudes of players and Sky Sports etc etc).

I suppose he's not employed to follow any certain sport, unlike Malone. He's given a lot of space and a regular column in which to spout about whatever he likes. He covers soccer as regularly as juvenile camogie and track and field. He produces the colour articles compared to Malone who just reports on soccer.

[OwlsFan]

Dear John letter to our football future
Tom Humpmepleze

LockedinRoom: John, this journalism lark has run its course for me, as I am tired of knocking the best sport in the world without fear of contradiction and ruining Ireland's World Cup chances in 2002 so I'm sitting down now to apply the final falsehoods to my application for the Irish soccer manager's job.
Fair play. So, John, I say to you as winsomely as possible: come and get me baby.

First, let me address the concerns which you have expressed, albeit obliquely (i.e. you didn't say it at all but it makes for good vitriol if I pretend you did), about the previous manager. John, you want a chap who will make the necessary changes at the right time in a big match. I am that chap even though I prefer the GAA to soccer and have published 100+ reasons why the GAA is better than soccer. It shocks me that I haven't been invited to be a TV panellist on Match of the Day.

It is in this area of playing personnel that Brian Kerr made a critical bungle. On the bench against Switzerland he had no players of international quality except of course Graham Kavanagh but Brian preferred that midfield dynamo John O'Shea and Robbie Elliott who scored in the last game. No definitely no one on the bench .He virtually wrote his own P45. Your hands were tied, John. As the great Bill O'Herlihy said once "Ho ho ho, he he he, haw haw haw and now we'll take an add break".

Kerr sallied forth in the campaign with no Chippy or no Gilesie. All the preparation and passion in the world won't turn sows' ears into silk purses, and some of our players are no sows' ears, in particular Roy Keane (viewed by some as the best irish player ever), Robbie Keane (our record goal scorer), Damien Duff (our most expensive player ever) and Shay Given (one of the best Irish goalies ever)

Now I'll be sarcastic and mention players who played against Bulgaria almost30 years ago and make it look as if because this team which had none of the facilities or time afforded to your team failed to qualify, your team was equally not culpable. This team included such household names in England as Gerry Peyton, Jimmy Holmes and Paddy Mulligan and Steve Heighway who played crap for Ireland. Am I not hilarious ?

Now that's a strong team. In 1977, they drew nil-all in Lansdowne with Bulgaria, thus failing to qualify for the 1978 World Cup. Of course I won't mention the disallowed goals in Paris and Sofia and that the team got no rub of the green and that it didn't concede any last minute goals or lose a 2-0 lead at home.

I will mention the "star-studded line-up" with which Jack Charlton almost didn't qualify for Euro '88, until Gary Mackay scored that freak late winner against Bulgaria in Sofia but I won't mention that some of these star- studded players included Chris Morris (Sheffield Wednesday reject), Mick McCarthy (Barnsley superstar) and two players playing in the lower divisions for Oxford United. I won't also mention that Ireland finished top of the group with more points than anyone and qualified - I won't almost mention that "nearly didn't qualify" doesn't count when we did.

I could do that, or I could reunite the bunch with whom Mick McCarthy didn't go to France '98 - I won't mention though that Mick McC got his team to a play off with a worse squad and half the preparation time you had, Brian.

Any of those "star-studded teams" (you see I like to use that phrase even though I am not sure Mick McCarthy or the fans would agree with it) would buy a manager a second chance. We've seen that (I won't mention Charlton didn't need a second chance). Why didn't Kerr pick any of them instead of going with so many whiney mediocrities (Hopefully my hero Roy won't spot me calling him a "whiney mediocrity" - whatever that it)? Beats me.


As for youth players: I avoid them like chicken nuggets during a bird flu epidemic. In so doing I will of course ignore the fact that Mick McCarthy blooded more young players than any previous manager and that Brian was very reluctant to try the younger players in friendlies.

John, I don't bake the cake. I don't ice it. You bring me the cake and I'll put the cherry on the top. One million, baby. Netto. You like that I bet - makes me look a great writer and hints that the new manager will care nothing about youth development which isn't the role anyway of a national team manager but hey, it reads good.

This is a key time for Irish soccer, John, and there must be something brave and heroically crazy inside of you to make you want to be the figurehead. Looking at you, alone on the podium announcing that Brian Kerr had been rubbed out, I was stirred and inspired. Hence this application. Hope you don't spot that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

You are pointing us towards the promised land, a place of milk and honey in which winning is the only thing that matters. The beauty of living there is that we need to win just to survive. (Great title for the autobiography, by the way, whenever you get one of the loyal retainers to ghost it. Win To Survive!). I am sure Roy Keane will agree with both parts of this - would in fact have been a good name for his autobiography.

I'll disparage Maurice Setters (rightly so) but use Chris Hughton as the example but I won't mention what Chris has achieved for us because I am not sure he has achieved anything and neither had Don Givens at U21 level where his record must be on a par with Setters.

I think The Association is heading in the right direction and I want to be a first-class passenger on that journey, John. Wasn't it great Roy arranged for all the players to fly first class and stay in first class hotels - I won't mention that the performances failed to improve as a result.

I couldn't help chuckling at the spectacle of poor old Liam Tuohy being given a lifetime achievement award on the night of the Swiss game. Underneath the sound of all the clapping by people who couldn't pick Liam Tuohy out of a police line-up in which he was the only Caucasian. Well actually I am only talking about myself here since Touhy never played in an All Ireland Final and no doubt there are thousands who remember Touhy being Manager of Ireland and playing for Rovers. I'll also ignore the fact the the FAI was perhaps trying to atone for the mistreatment of Touhy by making the presentation.

Now I'll mention the red herring of the National League which is not the responsibility of the Team Manager and which Brian didn't show much interest in when he served in that capacity.

We can go back to shaking the trees for fellas who have Irish grannies . Men who feel passionate enough about this country that they would be willing to be pictured with a pint of Guinness and a green jersey like Townsend, Aldridge and Cascarino who of course never tried when they put on a green jersey.

Then there is the position of soccer in Irish society. It's heartening of course, John, that so many people still travel to Glasgow and Liverpool and Manchester on the weekend to see their local teams, but we shouldn't be complacent because this is where most of our internationals play their club football and in which country generations of Irish people have emigrated.

I'll now have a slap at Jack Charlton - the most successful manager in irish football history, who brought international football to the living rooms all over the country and to people who regarded soccer as a foreign and dangerous sport. Here I go "There is no doubt having me move to a large house in Maida Vale, there to draw my huge salary and keep my household staff in order, would be a terrific shot in the arm for the domestic game. I will fly in to the Emerald Isle occasionally to open pubs and speak to television reporters. People love that. The Irish people are great fun and they've always been very good to me. Listen, John, win or lose we'll have a party and a sing-song because we have the greatest fans on earth and making them believe that is important. That was good wasn't it. Nice to get a bit of anti-Brit feeling off my chest. "Ta athas orm an curaghan seo...." opps, sorry. Forgot where I was for a moment.

I will now have a go at soccer but in truth, without realising it, I will explain why soccer doesn't stand a chance in this country at national level:

John, I feel we have the GAA where we want them just now. Strategically, with their huge stadium, with their big games every Sunday, with their wall-to-wall television coverage, with that 2 million they are spending on coaching and development next year and with their network of clubs and local infrastructure, strategically John, they are cornered and they have no place to go.

We stand on the threshold of a brave new era, John. Let's hold hands and jump together. You be Wallace. I'll be your Gromit or perhaps I can be Callous and I'll also be Vomit


© The Irish GAA Times

[wws]

Humphries by a knockout is my verdict

[Dotsy]

CLose run contest I'd have to give the draw. Good points made by both

[klein4]

with razor sharp writing like that you should apply to the evening herald right away...they are always on the look out for talented writers...

[gspain]

A few points on this though.

Despite all their infrastructure the GAA have far fewer players than football.
True they don't typically aspire to playing for Shels or Cork City rather Man Utd or Liverpool. Football is still by far the most popular sport in this country in terms of playing the game, watching the game (albeit mainly on tv) and talking about the game (albeit apart from the national team the English game). The GAA's "success" is in making their games a spectator sport.

Now this is not a recent phenomenon, when Jack Charlton took over as Irish manager in 1986 there were already more people playing football than GAA in the RoI. In the past 19 years the gap has widened considerably and significantly there has been huge growth in playing numbers in places like Kerry and Wexford which would have been GAA heartlands. Whatever the reason F.A.I. planning ( ) or maybe more to do with the fact that football is simply a better more skilful game to play we are winning the battle.

An interesting analogy is look at Northern Ireland. Again the GAA is very strong here, huge spectator numbers, bringing huge numbers to Dublin for big games whereas domestic football is played before crowds even smaller than the EL. However 60%+ of the population of NI are effectively excluded from playing/supporting GAA. Now even in nationalist areas football is hugely popular. GAA is very weak in the whole of Derry City. West Belfast again is a big football area. I don't have playing statistics from NI but common sense would indicate again that football is by far the most popular sport. Yet again though it is Cross Channel football that is followed.

[OwlsFan]

with razor sharp writing like that you should apply to the evening herald right away...they are always on the look out for talented writers...

I've never been so insulted in all my life .

[OneRedArmy]

Owlsfan, I notice you conveniently cut out his references to "a cold night at Gortakeegan" and how, done right, a home based manager could benefit from a suitably envigorated and structured National League if the FAI could be bothered to invest its energies in this direction.

This was they key point of the article for me, that is, his rejection of the usual foreign blow-in suspects for the job (who by implication wouldn't even know where Gortakeegan is) in favour of the FAI actually thinking of the long-term, big picture view for once in their bloody lives rather than another stupid reactionary move.

[thejollyrodger]

why dont you send it on to humpries and see what he has to say for himself ?

[oconghc2]

A few points on this though.


Now this is not a recent phenomenon, when Jack Charlton took over as Irish manager in 1986 there were already more people playing football than GAA in the RoI. In the past 19 years the gap has widened considerably and significantly there has been huge growth in playing numbers in places like Kerry and Wexford which would have been GAA heartlands. Whatever the reason F.A.I. planning ( ) or maybe more to do with the fact that football is simply a better more skilful game to play we are winning the battle.

What battle is this now?? Have to say I dont agree with you regarding the skill levels of both games?/

Last time I checked - Hurling was a much more skillful game than soccer! And are you trying to say that players like Gooch/O Neill/Munnelly dont posess skill levels as high as our top soccer players in their respective sports??

Fair enough Soccer might have more players in this country but in terms of passion and commitment I know which code is winning the battle!

I thought the Humphreys article was good - yes he is a big Gaa fan - but he is also a big soccer fan. Why would he spend so much of his time writing about it. He seems as disgruntled with the situation as all of us. His main point is that we need to build irish football from the roots up! - something none of us can disagree with! If a manager such as Troussier comes in what kind of message is it going to send out! The manager may not be directly responsible for the domestic game but he does have some sort of duty in looking over it!

[klein4]

how can you blame humphries for saipan??????
that is just a ludicrous assertion.he merely did an interview with roy keane.
He also ran it by Roy Keane before he published.
And it was in a question & answer format so you cant even say he twisted it to put forward a certain point of view.(and I dont want to get into an argument about saipan...its been done to death)
whether you agree with his opinions or not the fact is he is one of the few talented journalists around.He is biased towards GAA as he seems to have a real passion for what the organisation is about. But so what.Personally I totally disagree with him on his GAA stuff. But it doesnt exclude him from offering an opinion on Irish Football. The piece is a quality bit of satire which hits its targets more often than it misses them(the dunphy bit is brilliant). you seem to miss the point of the article and respond with some third rate bit of Hylandism that would make a leaving cert english student blush. On the "100 reasons why GAA is better than soccer" thing, it was just a funny piece!!!!! RELAX!!!

[OwlsFan]

Owlsfan, I notice you conveniently cut out his references to "a cold night at Gortakeegan" and how, done right, a home based manager could benefit from a suitably envigorated and structured National League if the FAI could be bothered to invest its energies in this direction.

This was they key point of the article for me, that is, his rejection of the usual foreign blow-in suspects for the job (who by implication wouldn't even know where Gortakeegan is) in favour of the FAI actually thinking of the long-term, big picture view for once in their bloody lives rather than another stupid reactionary move.

Ran out of time at lunchtime but it's covered elsewhere. It is not the job of the International Manager to build the game up from grassroots level - it is his job to manage the international team full stop. There are other positions in the FAI for that so it is a spurious argument to suggest that the manager needs to watch a game in a "cold night at Gortakeegan" because he in fact needs to be watching a game in a cold night in Hillsboro or at the Majeski Stadium etc where out potential international players ply their trade.

[gustavo]

Gortakeegan was used as an extreme example , he could just as easily have said Tolka or Turners Cross

[Donal81]

I'll now have a slap at Jack Charlton - the most successful manager in irish football history, who brought international football to the living rooms all over the country and to people who regarded soccer as a foreign and dangerous sport. Here I go "There is no doubt having me move to a large house in Maida Vale, there to draw my huge salary and keep my household staff in order, would be a terrific shot in the arm for the domestic game. I will fly in to the Emerald Isle occasionally to open pubs and speak to television reporters. People love that. The Irish people are great fun and they've always been very good to me. Listen, John, win or lose we'll have a party and a sing-song because we have the greatest fans on earth and making them believe that is important. That was good wasn't it. Nice to get a bit of anti-Brit feeling off my chest. "Ta athas orm an curaghan seo...." opps, sorry. Forgot where I was for a moment.

© The Irish GAA Times

He was born in England and plenty of his writing elsewhere suggests that he's not a twisted anti-Brit.

Other than that, it's a good response to it. Why don't you email it into him? sports@irish-times.ie

[gspain]

What battle is this now?? Have to say I dont agree with you regarding the skill levels of both games?/

Last time I checked - Hurling was a much more skillful game than soccer! And are you trying to say that players like Gooch/O Neill/Munnelly dont posess skill levels as high as our top soccer players in their respective sports??

Fair enough Soccer might have more players in this country but in terms of passion and commitment I know which code is winning the battle!

I thought the Humphreys article was good - yes he is a big Gaa fan - but he is also a big soccer fan. Why would he spend so much of his time writing about it. He seems as disgruntled with the situation as all of us. His main point is that we need to build irish football from the roots up! - something none of us can disagree with! If a manager such as Troussier comes in what kind of message is it going to send out! The manager may not be directly responsible for the domestic game but he does have some sort of duty in looking over it!

While hurling is a much better game than gaelic I don't find it aprticularly skilful or exciting and despite my limited knoweldge of GAA I know many hurling folk consider it to be the poor relation in GAA terms so it can't be all that wonderful.

No idea of the skill levels of the players you mentioned - I presume they are not Limerick hurlers. However I just think football is a more skilful game and a better game. It has been proven that our EL footballers are fitter than their GAA counterparts - indeed the hurlers and even less fit than the gaelic players.

I don't know where you are getting the passion and comitment angle from. That is clearly in evidence in all sports in this country. I know people passionatel and committed to cricket and badminton which are very much minority sports here.

I agree that Troussier would probably be a disaster. However I don't think football is in as much trouble as you think. We are producing quality underage players and have been for some time. Our U17s recently won a qualifying group in the Ukraine beating the host side and drawing with Italy. Our U19s also won their group stuffing Italy 4-1 in the process. We are still producing quality players. The clubs here deserve immedse credit for this and even the F.A.I. deserves some too. The big problem now though is that we can no longer depend on the Liverpools and Man Utds of this world to groom them in their acdemys as they continue to scour the globe for talent. We need to develop the domestic game and ensure our clubs compete at a far higher level in Europe. I believe we already have a far better product in EL football than anythign the GAA has to offer but we suffer hugely from comparisons. There are no better gaelic or hurling players on tv than those on display at Croke Park however there are better footballers out there than those we watch in Tolka or Turners Cross. We will always lose our top players to the Man Utds of this world but Cork City should be buying Reading's top striker not the other way around.

[gustavo]

a lot of good points there cant agree with you on the cork city should be buying readings top striker it just doesnt make economic sense

[gspain]

a lot of good points there cant agree with you on the cork city should be buying readings top striker it just doesnt make economic sense

Not today agreed. Reading have budgets, crowds and a stadium at a different level to Cork City. However our league should be at/above that level. It is going to take investment and a few years but Cork is a bigger city than Reading and has the potential to be in Europe every year.

It will also be down to conditioning - interesting that Cork City looked to have players with similiar skill levels to Slavia Prague but it was the conditioning of many years of fulltime training/fitness that made the difference.

Most of our top rugby players stay at home and still compete at the highest level. Interestingly when rugby went professional the northern hemishere was still behind the southern hemishere in terms of conditioning as they were effectively pro in the amateur days. it took a few years to catch up and maybe still not there but it is not just about fulltime training it is about doing this over a number of years

[pete]

GAA are is now starting to lose players to Aussie rules more than in the past. Rugby provinces are losing more players to the UK & France as Celtic League has not attracted the interest or crowds it expected.