a few jokes

[mouldymurphy]

NEVER **** A WOMAN OFF

A wife came home just in time to find her husband in
bed with another woman. With super-human strength borne of fury,
she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed in the back yard and put his penis in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle.
Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband was terrified, and screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off, are you? "
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the
saw in her husband's hand and said, " Nope. I'm going to set the
shed on fire. You do whatever you have to".

DOCTOR BOB

Doctor Bob had slept with one of his patients and had
felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget
about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was
overwhelming. Every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice within himself, trying to reassure him: "Bob, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go...."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Bob, you're a vet."

BOUNCE THE AIR OUT

A six-year-old walks into the kitchen where his Mom
is cooking and says, "Mom, the last few nights I have woke up to
this thumping noise coming out of your bedroom and when I look to see what it is, you're sitting on top of Dad and bouncing up and down. Why are you doing that?"
The startled mother tries to recover quickly and
says, "Your Dad is a little overweight and I'm trying to
get him back to normal size. I bounce on him to get all the air out
of him."
The little kid just shakes his head and says, "You're wasting your time. When you go to work, the lady next door comes over and blows him right back up again."

[A face]

Ooopps ...... just look at that, it cant be displayed

[A face]

the url is http://www.completeandutter*******.c...ownloads.shtml but it wont display b@stard, fill in the blanks