Priceless ...and apparently true!!!

**Lionel Ritchie** · 01/09/2005, 9:48 AM

> >>Radio Competition

> >>
> >>Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.
> >>
> >>Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
> >>The
> >>DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is
> >>called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they
> >>are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant
> >>answers "yes", he
>or
> >>she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person
>is
> >>also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number)
>for
> >>verification. If their partner answers those same three questions
> >>correctly, they both win the prize.
> >>
> >>One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour
> >>City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest
> >>thing you've heard yet.
> >>
> >>Anyway, here's how it all went down:
> >>
> >>DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
> >>
> >>Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast
>if
> >>you win. What is your name? First only please."
> >>
> >>Contestant: "Brian."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
> >>
> >>Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
> >>
> >>Brian: "Sara."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
> >>
> >>Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
> >>
> >>Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
> >>
> >>Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
> >>
> >>Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
> >>
> >>Brian: "About 10 minutes."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have
> >>said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
> >>
> >>Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
> >>morning?
> >>
> >>Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
> >>
> >>DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
> >>
> >>Brian: "On the kitchen table."
> >>
> >>DJ: "That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've
> >>done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work
> >>number and call her up. You listen to this."
> >>
> >>[ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]
> >>
> >>DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?" (Touch
> >>tones.....ringing....)
> >>
> >>Clerk: "Kinkos."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
> >>
> >>Clerk: "This is she."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now
>and
> >>I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
> >>
> >>Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
> >>
> >>DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not
> >>to give any\answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the
>rules
> >>of 'Mate Match'?"
> >>
> >>Sarah: "No."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Good!"
> >>
> >>Brian: (laughing)
> >>
> >>Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
> >>
> >>Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay?
> >>Be completely honest."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah.
> >>If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be
> >>off
>to
> >>the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.
> >>
> >>Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
> >>
> >>Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
> >>
> >>DJ: "What time?"
> >>
> >>Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
> >>
> >>Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect
>his
> >>manhood. We've got one last question,Sarah. You are one question
> >>away
>from
> >>a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you
> >>ready?"
> >>
> >>Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
> >>
> >>DJ: "Where did you have it?"
> >>
> >>Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
> >>
> >>Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
> >>
> >>DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
> >>
> >>Sarah: "Well..."
> >>
> >>DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?
> >>
> >>Sarah: "Up the arse....."
> >>
> >>After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station
> >>break"
> >>
> >>And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!

**Peadar** · 01/09/2005, 9:57 AM

Originally Posted by Lionel Ritchie

And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!

I doubt it!
That story has been going around for years and the radio stations/countries are all that's changed. I remember getting it in an e-mail in 1998.

**paul_oshea** · 01/09/2005, 10:36 AM

ya i heard that it happend in chicago, and i got the email about 4 years ago.

**sligoman** · 01/09/2005, 10:37 AM

Funny story

**Bluebeard** · 01/09/2005, 12:17 PM

I don't care if it really happened or not, never mind where - in my heart that will always be true

**Aldini98** · 01/09/2005, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by Bluebeard

I don't care if it really happened or not, never mind where - in my heart that will always be true

Ok, when it hardly is.

**gustavo** · 01/09/2005, 1:08 PM

similar joke

A local Radio Station, WINO was running a competition to find contestants who could come up with words that were not found in any English Dictionary yet could still use these words in a sentence that would make logical sense; the prize being a trip for two to Bali for a week. The DJ, Sam, had many callers, the following two standing out:
DJ : WINO, what's your name?
Caller: Hi, me name's Dave.
DJ: Dave, what is your word?
Caller: "Gwan" spelled G, W, A, N.
DJ: We are just checking that (pause)... and you are correct Dave, Gwan is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to Bali, is: What sentence can you use that in that would make logical sense?
Caller: Gwan **** yourself! Ha Ha Ha!
At this point the DJ cuts the caller short and announces that there is no place for that sort of language on a family show. After many more unsuccessful calls the DJ takes the following caller:
DJ: WINO, what's your name?
Caller: Me name's Jeff.
DJ: Jeff, what is your word?
Caller: "Smee" spelled S, M, E, E.
DJ: We are just checking that (pause)... and you are correct Jeff, Smee is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to Bali, is: What sentence can you use that in that would make logical sense?
Caller: Smee again! Gwan **** yourself! Ha Ha Ha!