> Gerrard Houlier was looking to sign some new players to help
>Liverpool's >
>title push, so he sent his chief scout to Afghanistan to search for some new
> > talent. Sure enough, the scout finds an outstanding 18 year old
>and > immediately signs him on a 3 year deal. > > On getting back to
>England, Gerrard takes one look at him in training and > immediately puts
>him in the starting line up for the big home game against > Arsenal. The new
>lad is fantastic, he scores a hat trick and creates four > more as Liverpool
>romp it 7-0. > > Ecstatic after the game the young lad phones his mum to
>tell her the good > news. > "Mum" he says "I've just made my debut and had a
>great game. The team loves > me, the fans love me and the press loves me.
>Life is great!" > "Well," says his mum, "I'm glad life is great for you.
>Shall I tell you what > happened to us today? Your Dad's been murdered in
>the street, your sister > and I were raped and > beaten in broad daylight,
>and your brother's joined a vicious gang of > killers". > "Mum, I don't know
>what to say. I'm so sorry" > "Sorry?", She yells down the phone, "You're
>f**king sorry? It's YOUR f**king > fault we moved to Liverpool in the first
>place!!" >