Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and
> > hearing this.
> > Many Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM morning show
> > in Chicago.
> > The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes.
> > The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work
> > and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the
> > contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly
> > personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of
> > their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner
>answers
> > those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.
> > One particular game, however, several months ago made the City
> > of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the
> > funniest thing ever heard.
> > Anyway, here's how itall went down:
> >
> > DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of
> > 'MateMatch'?"
> > Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
> > DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,
> > Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."
> > Contestant: "Brian."
> > DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
> > Brian: "Yes."
> > DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
> > Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
> > DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only
> > please."
> > Brian: "Sara."
> > DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
> > Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
> > DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
> > Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
> > DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had
> > sex?"
> > Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
> > DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
> > Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
> > DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
> > Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
> > DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
> > Contestant: "About 10 minutes."
> > DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one woud ever
> > have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
> > Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
> > DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock
> > this morning?"
> > Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
> > DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
> > Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying
> > with us for a couple of weeks..."
> > DJ: "Uh huh..."
> > Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the
> > time."
> > DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
> > Brian: "On the kitchen table."
> > DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous
> > hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his
> > wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."
> > 3 minutes of commercials follow.)
> > DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sara, shall
> > we?"
> > (touch tones....ringing....)
> > DJ: "Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?"
> > Clerk: "This is she."
> > DJ: "Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air
> > right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
> > Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
> > DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows
> > not to give any answers away or you'll lose.
> > Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'MateMatch'?"
> > Sara: "No."
> > DJ: "Good!"
> > Brian: (laughing)
> > Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
> > Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
> > completely honest."
> > DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you
> > 3 questions, Sara. If your answers match Brian's answers, then
> > the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney
> > World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it
> > Sara?"
> > Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
> > DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sara?"
> > Sara: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to
> > work."
> > DJ: "What time?"
> > Sara: "Around 8 this morning."
> > DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
> > Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
> > DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to
> > protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sara. You are one
> > question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
> > Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
> > DJ: "Where did you have it?"
> > Sara: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
> > Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
> > DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sara?"
> > Sara: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us
> > and..."
> > DJ: Come on Sara.....where did you have it?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Sara: "Up the ass....."
> > After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a
> > station break....."
> >> >>Q. What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
> >> >>A. Sloberdown My****youbitch.
> >> >> >
> >> >>Q. Why do women call it PMS?
> >> >>A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
> >> >> >
> >> >>Q. What's a mixed feeling?
> >> >>A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
> >> >> >your new car.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. What's the height of conceit?
> >> >> >A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. What's the definition of macho?
> >> >> >A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
> >> >> >A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. How can you tell the porno star at the gas station?
> >> >> >A. Just as the gas starts up the hose, he pulls out the
> >> >> >nozzle and sprays the gas all over the car.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
> >> >> >A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that
> >> >> >kick.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
> >> >> >A. Because it's worth it.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. What is a Yankee?
> >> >> >A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
> >> >> >A. They both like a tight seal.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
> >> >> >A. Their balls are just for decoration.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and aaaaaaah"?
> >> >> >A. About three inches.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
> >> >> >A. Well-hung.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
> >> >> >A. For traction in the mud.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
> >> >> >A. The grip.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
> >> >> >A. It's not hard.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
> >> >> >A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
> >> >> >A: 45 lbs.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
> >> >> >A: 45 minutes
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> >> >> >A: Breasts don't have eyes.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of
> >> >> >true love?
> >> >> >A: The swallow.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
> >> >> >A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
> >> >> >A: Cos no man would pull those faces on purpose.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance
> >> >> >than improving their minds ?
> >> >> >A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the
> >> >> >morning?
> >> >> >A. They don't have balls to scratch
Posting Permissions
Quote
Bookmarks