I'm going through all the stages. On Monday, with all the Sunday paper previews swimming in my head, it was panic. Yesterday, it was the strange, ominous calm of a man awaiting his execution. Today, it is resignation, albeit peppered by the obligatory butterflies. It is not a case of if, but of how much. With the lexicon of George Hamilton's commentary on Irish results past - both good and bad - as my crystal ball, I am weighing up two possible scenarios for tonight's outcome.
The first is that the French knock the wind out of the crowd with an early goal, and then take the sting out of our team by keeping possession. We manage a bit of huff and puff, but bad luck and bad finishing makes it amount to nothing. The French finish us off late on. 0-2.
The second scenario is that we do another Israel. We start bright, with Rabbie scoring after a manic first 15 minutes of end-to-end stuff. Slowly as the game wears on, reality dawns and the frogs expose us for the deficient outfit we are, despite all our window-dressing, ego-massaging and self-assurances. 1-3, with a late French goal. A convincing defeat. Roy comes off injured when the game is already lost. Duff knackers himself by sprinting all over the pitch for 90 minutes trying to run the game on his own. Clint fluffs a chance or two. Killer plays muck and loses any call he has for a place in the team. Andy O' and Kenny endure the busiest 90 minutes they've ever had. Robbie loses his temper.
Deep down, I think everyone knows that for all our grasping at empty, airy notions of 'home advantage', 'team spirit' and 'passion', the French are firstly vastly better players than us (bar in 2 or 3 positions), and secondly, they are totally prepared for what we will throw at them and are more than equipped to swat it away. They know all about the Lansdowne crowd, the Lansdowne pitch, the Roy Keane 'declaration tackle', the physicality of us. The mistake Holland made was that they didn't plan for those elements, and it was those (and those alone) which saw us beat them luckily. France, on the other hand, have been talking about little else in the run up to this game.
As much as I love my team, I cannot, in my Harte of hearts, see how we can avoid defeat against the French tonight.
Good night.
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