A MAN AND HIS WIFE WERE LYING IN BED AFTER A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN. THE MAN SAID TO HIS WIFE "give us a blow job baby" AND THE WIFE REPLIED " im too tired, **** in a glass and ill drink it tomorrow!"
The SFAI are the governing body for grassroots football in Ireland, not the FAI. Its success or the lack of is all down to them.
In Orkish it's Zagluk the Crippler apparantly.
Whatever it was I am sure it was better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad. I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?
Pleased to meet you Zagluk, my name is Ashurk the No-Tooth! Or without the fada I become Bâshbad the Ugly! Lovely! I hate that site nowOriginally posted by Ruairi
In Orkish it's Zagluk the Crippler apparantly.
No, its ok, when I put my name in as Gaeilge I become Gutgash the Strongclaw
Just FYI, Liam Murphy is Ufdreg the Crazy, while Günther is Gordúsh the Mean, Gunther is Grúblok the Looter and Grunter is Zaglakh the Gasher.
[SIZE=1]*christ I'm bored*[/SIZE]
This bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Kerryman came in.
With great difficulty, the Kerryman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
The Kerryman looked down the bar and said, "Is dat Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded, so the Kerryman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey,too.
The next patron to come in was an ailing Sligoman with a hunched back, who moved very slowly.
He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar.
The bartender nodded, so the Sligoman said to give Him glass of Chianti, too.
The third patron to enter the bar was a Corkman, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeeper, set me up a Murphy's! Hey, is dat God's yungfla down dere?"
The barkeeper nodded, so the corkman told him to give Jesus a Murphy's,too.
As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Kerryman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"
The Kerryman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up praised the Lord and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus touched the Sligoman and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"
The Sligoman felt his back straighten, so he too praised the Lord, raised his hands above his head and did a flip Jesus walked toward the corkman, but the Corkman jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me boy! I'm drawin' disability!"
The SFAI are the governing body for grassroots football in Ireland, not the FAI. Its success or the lack of is all down to them.
>Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mum arrive at the Pearly
>gates, St Peter explains that only one can get through and that they
>each
>have to put forward their case for entry.
>
>Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some
>mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most beautiful music
>in
>the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade everybody with
>my
>wondrous songs, making heaven a far happier place to be"
>
>"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?"
>
>Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I will
>completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the
>cherub
>to the choirboys. As you well know Pete if you look good you will feel
>good
>and that will make heaven a much happier place"
>
>"Not bad" says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?"
>
>The Queen Mum does not say a word, instead she lifts up her skirt and
>pulls
>down her knickers, inserts a full bottle of Evian water into her fan*y,
>lets
>the water shoot up inside her and then gush out all over the floor.
>
>"Excellent, you're in" says St Peter
>
>"Hold on a f*cking minute" says Freddie "She didn't even say anything"
>
>"Fred you know the rules," says St Peter, "A royal flush beats a pair of
>Queens..."
The SFAI are the governing body for grassroots football in Ireland, not the FAI. Its success or the lack of is all down to them.
>Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and
>>>>disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug consumption
>>>>problem all over the world.
>>>>
>>>>After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that in order
>>>>to better deal with the problem, that they should try the drugs
>>>>themselves and then decide on the correct way to proceed.
>>>>
>>>>It was therefore decided that a commission made up of some of the
>>>>members return to earth to get the different types of drugs. The secret
>>>>operation is effected and two days later the commissioned disciples
>>>>begin to return to heaven.
>>>>
>>>>Jesus, waiting at the door, hears a knock:
>>>>"Who is it?"
>>>>"It's Paul"
>>>>Jesus opens the door.
>>>>"What did you bring Paul?"
>>>>"Hashish from Morocco"
>>>>"Very well son, come in."
>>>>
>>>>another knock ...
>>>>"Who is it?"
>>>>"It's Mark"
>>>>Jesus opens the door.
>>>>"What did you bring Mark?"
>>>>"Marijuana from Colombia"
>>>>"Very well son, come in."
>>>>
>>>>another knock ...
>>>>"Who is it?"
>>>>"It's Matthew"
>>>>Jesus opens the door.
>>>>"What did you bring Matthew ?"
>>>>"Cocaine from Bolivia"
>>>>"Very well son, come in."
>>>>
>>>>another knock ...
>>>>"Who is it?"
>>>>"It's John"
>>>>Jesus opens the door.
>>>>"What did you bring John?"
>>>>"Crack from New York"
>>>>"Very well son, come in."
>>>>
>>>>another knock ...
>>>>"Who is it?"
>>>>"It's Luke"
>>>>Jesus opens the door.
>>>>"What did you bring Luke?"
>>>>"Speed from Amsterdam"
>>>>"Very well son, come in."
>>>>
>>>>another knock ...
>>>>"Who is it?"
>>>>"It's Judas"
>>>>Jesus opens the door.
>>>>"What did you bring Judas?"
>>>>
>>>>" FBI MOTHER F***ERS! EVERYONE AGAINST THE WALL!"
>>>>
The SFAI are the governing body for grassroots football in Ireland, not the FAI. Its success or the lack of is all down to them.
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