What's the most stupid/ dangerous thing you've ever done?

[Don Vito]

Leaving O'Sullivans bar in Paris on the Friday night before the Ireland game full as an egg to walk the 4 miles across the city back to my hotel. To this day I can't understand how I found my way back to the hotel, I remember thinking I was in Dublin and trying to figure out how to get to Rathmines. I met some amount of dodgy blokes and how I wasn't attacked or mugged I'll never know, got some great pictures on my camera though to piece the night together. The problem all started because of the queue for the drinks requiring three to be bought in one go and one drank by the time you got your change back. Happy memories though!

[Metrostars]

Didnt happen to me but one of my old roomates when he was in college. One evening he needed iron his shirt before going out, so he gets the iron out and turns it on to heat up, goes into the kitchen to get a snack, comes back out and tests the iron to see if it's hot.
Except he tested the iron with his tongue. He got a nasty burn, had to go to the hospital for meds etc.

[hamish]

tests the iron to see if it's hot.
Except he tested the iron with his tongue. He got a nasty burn, had to go to the hospital for meds etc.

Oh sweet Jesus.

[MariborKev]

1) Driving to Dublin for a match a few years ago in a Scenic, one of the passengers went "I wonder what it would be like to crash with these tray tables up"(the car has them flip up tables). I turned round to see what he was on about and ten seconds later I hit a car in front of me. Still got down in time for kick off though

2) Playing football in a school corrider, I slipped in a puddle of water, hit a filing cabinet at full pelt. Filing cabinet titled over and landed on me. Ended up in hospital for over a year with multiple leg fractures, broked ribs, and the rest

3) Chanting for the entirety of the Ireland v Albania game a few years back in Lansdowne. Keane got the winner near the end- I only discovered after the game that my lung had collapsed with the effort

4) Falling asleep with a reading lamp on, woke up to find the bed on fire. I had shifted the pillow in my sleep and and it had started to melt under the heat of the light, the bed then went on fire. Like PP, the doctor said another couple of minutes it could have been a whole lot worse

[hamish]

1)

2) Playing football in a school corrider, I slipped in a puddle of water, hit a filing cabinet at full pelt. Filing cabinet titled over and landed on me. Ended up in hospital for over a year with multiple leg fractures, broked ribs, and the rest

3) Chanting for the entirety of the Ireland v Albania game a few years back in Lansdowne. Keane got the winner near the end- I only discovered after the game that my lung had collapsed with the effort

4) Falling asleep with a reading lamp on, woke up to find the bed on fire. I had shifted the pillow in my sleep and and it had started to melt under the heat of the light, the bed then went on fire. Like PP, the doctor said another couple of minutes it could have been a whole lot worse

Holy Mother of God - I'm glad you're still with us Maribor.

One thing I'm always really wary of is electrical objects - it can be so fcuking easy for bloody things to overheat and catch fire - I don't care what precautions the experts tell us to take.

Brother in law bought a colour telly for the 1974 World Cup - after the WC ended he moved telly into the bedroom - it literally exploded/blazed up in a matter of seconds one night - flame soared up a corner of the bedroom and the Fire Brigade had to be called.

[Flea]

The most horrifying natural and beautiful thing all at one working in unison- nudity outside a certain station(and its not the train station) on Pearse Street envigourating

[hamish]

The most horrifying natural and beautiful thing all at one working in unison- nudity outside a certain station(and its not the train station) on Pearse Street envigourating

I presume that's you Flea - like your namesake in TRHCPs - did you wear a big sock on your schlong???

[Flea]

I tried on all the socks in Penneys but none would fit so I decided on body paint I wasn't caught though

[hamish]

I tried on all the socks in Penneys but none would fit so I decided on body paint I wasn't caught though

Not getting caught - that's the important bit.

[Flea]

Hell ye some poor bastrd got socks and an extra present for Christmas last

[M@ttitude]

Hamish is off the head....

Most recent dumb thing, not a drop of drink involved just a touch of empty headness.....2 months ago I was in New York visiting my girlfriend, she was sharing a room on fifth avenue while she worked so I was staying there for a few days, one morning she went to work and told me when i get up to use the bathroom bring the key because the bedroom door locks behind you... of course I forgot this and went to have a shower with just a towel, all showered up anyway and realised i was locked out, I felt daft and tried to kick the door in, big sturdy mother ****er wouldn't budge so I had to go down to the reception in a pink towel and explain what happened but I wasn't allowed stay there in the first place so they had to call the manager whom i pleaded with to at least let me get my clothes, which he did after about 15 mins while a small crowd gathered, I felt like a real thick paddy walking up the stairs with the manager and security guard!

The Crazy Test

[hamish]

Hamish is off the head....

Hi M@ttitude - ya cheeky pup ya.
Nah - still a modicum of sanity left but just a modicum - just another tale of the troubles we males get into when the testosterone is flowing and common sense goes out the window - or, in my case, the passenger door.LOL
I'll bet lots more blokes can beat my above tale with even more bizzare tales.
Something similar to your story happened to me in a Galway hotel. I was staying in a Salthill with a lass (different one this time) and it had no en suite situation - bathroom was up the coridor. It was in the 80s, y'know. Ladyfriend went to the bathroom in the morning and I heard a knock at the door. Presumed she had locked herself out and when, totally au natural, I opened the door, I was confronted with a rather oldish lady (hotel staff member) delivering our (pre-ordered) breakfast.
Obviously she was used to this situation as she didn't bat an eyelid - "Here's your breakfast, love", was all she said. I could only laugh.

Still, I'd better delete "The Boghole Incident" though as in this PC world some Footie ladies might consider parts of it a tad rude. Swear to God, it's a true story though.

BTW I got "You're a picture of sanity, how dull you're life must be" in The Crazy Test. Kinda disappointed - that proves the test is BS.LOL

[Jim Smith]

Here's a few from the top of my head:

• Drinking Holy Water from Lourdes - sick as a dog for days. I wonder can it tell if you are a non-believer?

• Eating a leaf from a tree in the centre of Glasgow - if you must browse from a tree try and stay away from ones with shiny leaves.

• Licking the top of a magic mushroom air freshener "to see what it tasted like"

• Complaining that the curry I had ordered wasn't hot enough....

• ****ing in a doorway that just happened to be a side entrance to Strathclyde Police's HQ. At least they saw the funny side of it and let me off with a warning.

• Getting the family up at the crack of dawn to go to Lego Land. I managed to get on the wrong train and would up in Windsor. I'm still not allowed to forget that.

[hamish]

Here's a few from the top of my head:

• Drinking Holy Water from Lourdes - sick as a dog for days. I wonder can it tell if you are a non-believer?

Yep Jim - you're doomed to the fires of hell. LOL

I think it's a great idea to publicly, for want of a better word, cleanse ourselves and publicly confess our past.er.....diversions. Shows we're all human and I tend to think our daft actions in the past display that we're very colourful people here in Footieland.
Who said internet folks are nerds?

Just after the pope's visit in 1979, a good of friend was driving his then girlfriend to a quiet spot after a disco. Well, she couldn't wait and started to give him a BJ as he drove - I wonder is that breaking the law the same as using mobile phones?
He drove into a Gardai checkpoint but did it stop yer one - not a bit of it.
The cops were laughing so much they waved him on - only when the girl heard the cops laughing/talking did she come up for air.
Soon as they passed the checkpoint, off she goes again.
I thought the pope's visit inspired a new wave of religiosity in the country - yeh right.
I went out with her for a short spell a year or so after he broke up with her but never encountered a Gardai checkpoint.

[exile]

once a upon myself and some friends rented out a villa in ibiza, after coming back one morning from a night on the tiles, a friend had taken a crazy ass swedish girl back to his room for a bit lurve , in our silly drunkness we thought it would be a good idea to climb up on the roof with the camcorder and video tape it through the sky light in the attic room he was staying in needless to say we were less coherent than what we thought we were and in my drunkiness i feel in the window on top of them breaking her collar bone and my wrist and foot , ah the memorys

[hamish]

i feel in the window on top of them breaking her collar bone and my wrist and foot , ah the memorys

Jeez, exile, there's a safer version of a threesome than that.

I'll ask it again, why is it that rumpy pumpy get us lads in to such trouble??

[exile]

Jeez, exile, there's a safer version of a threesome than that.

I'll say it again, sex and young lads is a dangerous mixture.

i was a pariah at the wedding after the best mans speech apperntly swedes learn english at a very young age , i was only told afterwards they just didnt want to talk to a crazy ass irish man

[paul_oshea]

we were less coherent than what we thought we were and in my drunkiness i feel in the window on top of them breaking her collar bone and my wrist and foot , ah the memorys

Classic, how did you explain that one at home?? and what did she do?? she must have went mad. my mates would go spa if i did something like that.

[hamish]

Ah but POS and Exile, the good thing is that we can laugh at these now.

What is it in us blokes that makes us do these things? I know alcohol is involved but........???

It's a wonder any bloke has a stag party - you just know someone will tie him naked to a lamp-post or put a ferret down his trousers.

[exile]

Classic, how did you explain that one at home?? and what did she do?? she must have went mad. my mates would go spa if i did something like that.

after she got over the shock and the intial pain she proceeded to get up and start kicking me while i was on the floor but they ended up getting married so all is good