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Thread: Commentary Masterpieces

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    Commentary Masterpieces

    > >>MICHAEL O MUIRCHEARTAIGH Masterpieces
    > >>
    > >>"....... and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, I'll tell ye
    >a
    > >>little story. I was in Times Square in New York last week, and I was
    > >>missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newstand and said
    >'I
    > >>suppose ye wouldn't have the Kerryman would ye? To which, the Egyptian
    > >>behind the counter turned to me and said 'do you want the North Kerry
    > >>edition or the South Kerry Edition?'... he had both... so I bought both.
    > >>......and Dooher is back on his feet..."
    > >>
    > >>"Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you
    > >>down - his people are undertakers"
    > >>
    > >>"I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner Street this morning and
    >the
    > >>omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same colours
    >as
    > >>the Sligo jersey! 40yards out on the Hogan stand side of the field
    >Ciaran
    > >>Whelan goes on a rampage, it's a goal. So much for religion."
    > >>
    > >>"Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. It's over the bar.
    > >>This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made a Lazarus-like
    >recovery
    > >>from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick
    > >>points like Colin Corkery."
    > >>
    > >>"1-5 to 0-8... well from Lapland to the Antartic, that's level scores in
    > >>any man's language."
    > >>
    > >>"Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motering well now... but here comes
    >Joe
    > >>Rabitte hot on his tail..... I've seen it all now a Rabbitte chasing a
    >Fox
    > >>around Croke Park."
    > >>
    > >>"I see John O'Donnell dispensing water on the sideline. Tipperary,
    > >>sponsored by a water company. Cork supported by a tae company. I wonder
    > >>will they meet up later for afternoon tae."
    > >>
    > >>"Teddy looks at the ball, the ball looks at Teddy"
    > >>
    > >>"Danny 'The Yank' Culloty. He came down the mountains and han't he done
    > >>well"
    > >>
    > >>"He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50... he's on the 40.... he's on the
    > >>30..... he's on the ground!!"
    > >>
    > >>"In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half they
    > >>playe with the ball"
    > >>
    > >>"He kicks the ball Ian san aer, could've been a goal, could've been a
    > >>point..... it went wide!!"
    > >>
    > >>"Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly... Stephen, one of 12... all
    > >>but one are here today, the one that's missing is Mary, she's at home
    > >>minding the house... and the ball is dropping i lar na bpairce"
    > >>
    > >>"Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliotar. I bought a dog from his
    > >>father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a great
    >race
    > >>last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fores a shot, it goes to the
    >left
    > >>and wide..... and tje dog lost as well"
    > >>
    > >>"SeanOg O'Hailpin... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother;s from
    > >>Fiji...... neither a hurling stronghold"
    > >>
    > >>"Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation. John McCarthy back to
    >Teddy
    > >>McCarthy, still no relation"

  2. #2
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    the man's a living legend.

    i'm listening to him right now on rté radio 1 online - dublin V laois - dubs are winning 0-7 - 0-3

    come on laois!
    Last edited by tayto repairman; 17/07/2005 at 3:44 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tayto repairman


    the man's a living legend.

    i'm listening to him right now on rté radio 1 online - dublin V laois - dubs are winning 0-7 - 0-3

    come on laois!
    Methinks the man is a genius...... and bad luck old boy your lot seem to have lost

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    He's great

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    Quote Originally Posted by CollegeTillIDie
    Methinks the man is a genius...... and bad luck old boy your lot seem to have lost
    my lot?

    i'm a galwayman.

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    Talking One from the Golf Course

    Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

    Ken Brown on Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunesson lining up shots together.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunderblaster
    Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

    Ken Brown on Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunesson lining up shots together.
    Life without Rovers, it makes no sense...it's a heartache...nothing but a fools game. S.R.F.C.


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    I always remember his line "The first half was even, the second half is even better".
    "Jacques Santini...will be greeted in every dugout of the country by "one-nil, one-nil" - Clive Tyldsley, 89th minute of France-England June 13, 2004.
    "Ooooohhhh Nooooooo" Bobby Robson 91st minute.

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    One From Boxing

    Minter, the undisputed world champion, leaves the ring not a champion.

    Harry Carpenter
    Last edited by Thunderblaster; 02/08/2005 at 1:46 PM.

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    Horse Racing

    This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

    Ted Walsh.

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    Scenic Viewing

    Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees.

    Stewart Machin on Tony McCoy leading a race.

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    George Hamilton Getting Aroused

    He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!

    George "It's There/Danger Here" Hamilton

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    Philip Greene

    Anyone remember Philip Greene's masterpiece when commentating on a Shamrock Rovers V Bohemians game when he took to a bit of plane spotting and then roared out "Oh f*ck it's a goal!!"?

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    Sexual Arousement!!

    Ardilles strokes the ball like it was part of his anatomy.

    Jimmy Magee

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunderblaster
    This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

    Ted Walsh.
    I actually was watching RTE when Walsh said "I rode her mother down the Curragh".
    Robert Hall completely lost it, couldn't carry on at all.
    They took a break, came back and as soon as Hall tried to speak, he started laughing all over again.
    For the rest of the broadcast, they both struggled through, neither man really regained any composure...superb television

  16. #16
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    snooker 1 time some player was going for the blue

    "and for those of you watching in black & white, the blue is behind the pink"

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    legendary cricket commentary.

    england v west indies

    bowler michael holding of west ind bowling to peter willey of eng.the commentator said .......................

    " the bowler is Holding, the batsman's Willey"

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    Reserves TheOwl's Avatar
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    I urge you all to download the best bit of sports commentary ever from here...

    http://gummiwisdom.com/cal/the_play.html

    You got to love it!

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    I actually heard this back in the 80s or late 70s but it was a Sunday afternoon sports programme on RTE radio. Philip Greene is commentating on a game in Waterford and Liam ? (can't remember his second name) was the programme anchor. They got round to discussing Waterford's much travelled Paul Kirk. This is not too far from a direct quote.
    Liam ? : "Paul Kirk, Phil, a man of many clubs, a peri-patetic player indeed"
    Philip Greene: "Actually he's a very good player, Liam, very skilfull"
    Liam ?: "No, Phil, I meant a peri-patetic player"
    Philip: "No, no Liam, he's not very pathetic, he's having a fine game"
    Liam: "I said peri-patetic, Philip......"

    At this stage I was laughing so much I gleaned only bits of the rest of the conversation. I think Liam (what the fcuk is his surname) thanked Phil and went over to another live game.

    I think it was Liam Nolan??? not 100% sure though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sirhamish
    I actually heard this back in the 80s or late 70s but it was a Sunday afternoon sports programme on RTE radio. Philip Greene is commentating on a game in Waterford and Liam ? (can't remember his second name) was the programme anchor. They got round to discussing Waterford's much travelled Paul Kirk. This is not too far from a direct quote.
    Liam ? : "Paul Kirk, Phil, a man of many clubs, a peri-patetic player indeed"
    Philip Greene: "Actually he's a very good player, Liam, very skilfull"
    Liam ?: "No, Phil, I meant a peri-patetic player"
    Philip: "No, no Liam, he's not very pathetic, he's having a fine game"
    Liam: "I said peri-patetic, Philip......"

    At this stage I was laughing so much I gleaned only bits of the rest of the conversation. I think Liam (what the fcuk is his surname) thanked Phil and went over to another live game.

    I think it was Liam Nolan??? not 100% sure though.
    Liam Nolan is right SirHamish.
    Was a tad more educated than Phillipp "C'mon the hoops and f*ck the rest of youse" Greene....

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