Commentary Masterpieces

[Tony Montana]

Big Ron:

'I would not say that he (David Ginola) is one of the best left wingers in the Premiership, but there are none better.'

'They've come out at half time and gone bang.'

'[Phil Neville] was treading on dangerous water there...'

'I've had this sneaking feeling throughout the game that it's there to be won...'

'I would also think that the replay showed it to be worse than it actually was.'

'I think that was a moment of cool panic there.'

'Beckenbauer has really gambled all his eggs.'

'If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half time, it was concentration and focus.'

'They must go for it now as they have nothing to lose but the match.'

'Woodcock would have scored, but his shot was too perfect.'

'Someone in the England team will have to grab the ball by the horns.'

'He's not only a good player, but he's spiteful in the nicest sense of the word.'

'Tony Adams - he's the rock that the team has grown from.'

'...and he [Peter Schmeichel] extends and grows even bigger than he is.'

'They've done the old-fashioned things well; they've kicked the ball, they've headed it...'

'They've picked their heads up off the ground, and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders.'

'Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.'

'He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate.'

'I'm afraid they've left their legs at home.'

'The keeper was unsighted - he still didn't see it'

'Zero-zero is a big score.'

'...in the other two games, the FA Cup Final and the Premiership.'

'You half fancied that to go in as it was rising and dipping at the same time.'

'Chelsea look like they've got a couple more gears left in the locker.'

'Now Manchester United are 2-1 down on aggregate, they are in a better position than when they started the game at 1-1.'

'Huddersfield will want to win this one.'

'That was Pele's strength - holding people off with his arm.'

'Stoichkov's playing on the wing, in this situation he likes to come in and scalp the centre-half.'

'[He's] the eqivalent of the Spanish David Beckham.'

'A ten-foot keeper really should have stopped that'

'There's a little triangle - five left-footed players.'

'I tell you what, if the Cameroons get a goal back here they're literally gonna catch on fire.'

'Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms - movement and positioning.'

'He must be lightning slow'

'There's a snap about Liverpool that just isn't there'

'For me their biggest threat is when they get into the attacking part of the field.'

'If you score against the Italians you deserve a goal'

'He'll take some pleasure from that, Brian Carey. He and Steve Bull have been having it off all afternoon.'

'His white boots were on fire against Arsenal, and he'll be looking for them to reproduce tonight.'

'When Scholes gets it [tackling] wrong, they come in so late that they arrive yesterday'

'This is the best Man United have played in Europe this season and, conversely, the opposition has been excellent.'

'There's a few tired limbs in the blue legs.'

'Scholes and Van Nistelrooy drugged the last two defenders'

'Ryan Giggs is running long up the backside'

'Yes, Woodcock would have scored but his shot was just too perfect'

'Our fans have been branded with the same brush.'

'The Spaniards have been reduced to aiming aimless balls into the box'

'Liverpool are outnumbered numerically in midfield'

'There's lots of balls dropping off people.'

'The keeper should have saved that one, but he did.'

'Their strength is their strength'

'They are playing above the ground'

'He could have done a lot better there, but full marks to the lad.'

'Jari Litmanen should be made compulsory'

'Heskey needs to punch his own weight'

'Apart from picking the ball out of the net, he hasn’t had to make a save.'

'Scholes is very influential for England at international level.'

'At international level, giving the ball away doesn’t work too often.'

'You know when I say that things happen in matches? Well, it just happened there'

'They've certainly grown, the Japanese. I mean grown in stature, playing-wise.'

'Liverpool will think ‘we could have won this 2-2.’'

'I'm sure Bobby won't want them to be losing the match before winning it'

'Their forward got a lucky squeeze from the defender'

'Yordi circumnavigated Ledley King there'

'Lee Dixon will be up against two South American left-handers tonight.'

'Think of a number between 10 and 11'

'You don't want to be giving away free kicks in the penalty area'

'How are they defensively, attacking-wise?'

'The ball goes down the keeper's throat where it hits him on the knees to say the least'

'He should get his head to those. He is twelve foot tall.'

'He had acres of time there'

'That’s not the type of header you want to see your defender make, with his hand'

'His head just disappeared into his shoulders'

'They scored too early'

'Chelsea are the team who can break the Arsenal and Manchester United monopoly.'

'We haven't had a strategic free kick all night. No one's knocked over attackers ad lib'

'You can see the ball go past them, or the man, but you'll never see both man and ball go past at the same time. So if the ball goes past, the man won't, or if the man goes past they'll take the ball.'

'van Nistelrooy, predating as usual...'

[NeilMcD]

my lot?

i'm a galwayman.

Yeah your lot, the anti dublin brigade

[Tony Montana]

Pat Dolan tonight:

"Pat Fenlon doesn't have Hans Christian Anderson on the bench,but Shelbourne need a fairytale"

[Pablo]

Pat Dolan tonight:

"Pat Fenlon doesn't have Hans Christian Anderson on the bench,but Shelbourne need a fairytale"

a dolan classic. i spat my dinner out!

[OwlsFan]

The best one I remember was Al Finucane of Limerick FC giving out about how Rovers treated winning the FAI Cup with contempt, having just seen Ronnie Nolan (no relation to Liam) dump the cup in the boot of his car:

Finucane: "The people of Limerick would cut off their arms to get their hands on the cup"

[Thunderblaster]

I urge you all to download the best bit of sports commentary ever from here...

http://gummiwisdom.com/cal/the_play.html

You got to love it!

Commentator was certainly impartial. The classic similarity was from the Norwegian commentator in 1981 with his "Lord Nelson, Winston Churchill, Maggie Thatcher, our boys have just beaten you!!", when Norway beat England 2-1.

[Bosco]

Was watching one of those poker shows recently.There were 2 players left,cant remember their names,lets call them Phil and tony.Their was an english and an american commentator.The american fella suddenly goes "Things would no doubht be easier for tony if he could see phils hand",to which the english fella said something along the lines of "Did you really mean that,do you realise what you've just said,you my friend are an idiot"

[Thunderblaster]

Was watching one of those poker shows recently.There were 2 players left,cant remember their names,lets call them Phil and tony.Their was an english and an american commentator.The american fella suddenly goes "Things would no doubht be easier for tony if he could see phils hand",to which the english fella said something along the lines of "Did you really mean that,do you realise what you've just said,you my friend are an idiot"

Great diplomacy I must say!! George Hamilton might be in for that treatment yet?

[ollie]

Clive Tyldesley: "… and Cisse's getting stripped off."
Andy Townsend: (long pause) ".... brilliant!"

Eamo - "Bayern, Arsenal, Real, Porto, haven't a hope. Chelsea good but won't win it, will struggle. AC Milan are not a top class side,
Barcelona lack a bit of steel. If United beat Milan they'll win it"

Gilsey - "I think Chelsea have a great chance"

Eamo - "I agree with John, I think Chelsea will beat Barcelona and reach the final."

[Block G Raptor]

Gilsey (on rte when they used to show delayed coverage of the premiersh!t)
about six months after Grobbelaar had signed for Southampton "David james is doing a great job of keeping Grobbelaar out of this Liverpool side" feckin muppet do some research

[Thunderblaster]

Anyone listen to the Ray D'arcy show on Today FM on Friday? He did a sketch on a commentator from a Tipperary U.21 game and it is meant to be on DVD. The clips from the game was something else with the commentator using a lot of language and giving out to the players and the referee. It is quite funny. I think that the DVDs can be got in Nenagh.

[Thunderblaster]

On the NI game on Wednesday night, Jackie Fullerton beamed "There wasn't snow in the air, there is snow in the air now."

[Aberdonian Stu]

Anyone listen to the Ray D'arcy show on Today FM on Friday? He did a sketch on a commentator from a Tipperary U.21 game and it is meant to be on DVD.

That is ancient, as in over ten years old at this stage. It's quite funny though.

[CollegeTillIDie]

my lot?

i'm a galwayman.

Well you're an anyone but the Dubs fan then !

[Ozymandias]

Anyone listen to the Ray D'arcy show on Today FM on Friday? He did a sketch on a commentator from a Tipperary U.21 game and it is meant to be on DVD. The clips from the game was something else with the commentator using a lot of language and giving out to the players and the referee. It is quite funny. I think that the DVDs can be got in Nenagh.

the commentator is eddie moroney (effin eddie) from aherlow. He did the commnetary for the under 21 football final between aherlow and nenagh...priceless stuff..this guy was not putting it on and is always like that...can be seen on a saturday in his brothers bar in lisvernane in the glen of aherlow..its like watching the unbelievables

[OwlsFan]

Lets hope Bobby Robson doesn't have to say this again:

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought"

[mypost]

CT, ITV commentator, France-Denmark, WC 2002:

"Zidane is playing in Djorkaeff's hole"

Reporter at Sharapova-Williams match/gruntfest, Wimbledon tennis championships, 2005:

"If you come in to your room, and don't know what's happening, just turn up the sound on the tv, and you'll think you're watching the
Fantasy Channel." True.

[Thunderblaster]

CT, ITV commentator, France-Denmark, WC 2002:

"Zidane is playing in Djorkaeff's hole"

It must have been a serious tackle from behind!!

[anto eile]

Big Ron:

'I would not say that he (David Ginola) is one of the best left wingers in the Premiership, but there are none better.'

'They've come out at half time and gone bang.'

'[Phil Neville] was treading on dangerous water there...'

'I've had this sneaking feeling throughout the game that it's there to be won...'

'I would also think that the replay showed it to be worse than it actually was.'

'I think that was a moment of cool panic there.'

'Beckenbauer has really gambled all his eggs.'

'If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half time, it was concentration and focus.'

'They must go for it now as they have nothing to lose but the match.'

'Woodcock would have scored, but his shot was too perfect.'

'Someone in the England team will have to grab the ball by the horns.'

'He's not only a good player, but he's spiteful in the nicest sense of the word.'

'Tony Adams - he's the rock that the team has grown from.'

'...and he [Peter Schmeichel] extends and grows even bigger than he is.'

'They've done the old-fashioned things well; they've kicked the ball, they've headed it...'

'They've picked their heads up off the ground, and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders.'

'Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.'

'He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate.'

'I'm afraid they've left their legs at home.'

'The keeper was unsighted - he still didn't see it'

'Zero-zero is a big score.'

'...in the other two games, the FA Cup Final and the Premiership.'

'You half fancied that to go in as it was rising and dipping at the same time.'

'Chelsea look like they've got a couple more gears left in the locker.'

'Now Manchester United are 2-1 down on aggregate, they are in a better position than when they started the game at 1-1.'

'Huddersfield will want to win this one.'

'That was Pele's strength - holding people off with his arm.'

'Stoichkov's playing on the wing, in this situation he likes to come in and scalp the centre-half.'

'[He's] the eqivalent of the Spanish David Beckham.'

'A ten-foot keeper really should have stopped that'

'There's a little triangle - five left-footed players.'

'I tell you what, if the Cameroons get a goal back here they're literally gonna catch on fire.'

'Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms - movement and positioning.'

'He must be lightning slow'

'There's a snap about Liverpool that just isn't there'

'For me their biggest threat is when they get into the attacking part of the field.'

'If you score against the Italians you deserve a goal'

'He'll take some pleasure from that, Brian Carey. He and Steve Bull have been having it off all afternoon.'

'His white boots were on fire against Arsenal, and he'll be looking for them to reproduce tonight.'

'When Scholes gets it [tackling] wrong, they come in so late that they arrive yesterday'

'This is the best Man United have played in Europe this season and, conversely, the opposition has been excellent.'

'There's a few tired limbs in the blue legs.'

'Scholes and Van Nistelrooy drugged the last two defenders'

'Ryan Giggs is running long up the backside'

'Yes, Woodcock would have scored but his shot was just too perfect'

'Our fans have been branded with the same brush.'

'The Spaniards have been reduced to aiming aimless balls into the box'

'Liverpool are outnumbered numerically in midfield'

'There's lots of balls dropping off people.'

'The keeper should have saved that one, but he did.'

'Their strength is their strength'

'They are playing above the ground'

'He could have done a lot better there, but full marks to the lad.'

'Jari Litmanen should be made compulsory'

'Heskey needs to punch his own weight'

'Apart from picking the ball out of the net, he hasn’t had to make a save.'

'Scholes is very influential for England at international level.'

'At international level, giving the ball away doesn’t work too often.'

'You know when I say that things happen in matches? Well, it just happened there'

'They've certainly grown, the Japanese. I mean grown in stature, playing-wise.'

'Liverpool will think ‘we could have won this 2-2.’'

'I'm sure Bobby won't want them to be losing the match before winning it'

'Their forward got a lucky squeeze from the defender'

'Yordi circumnavigated Ledley King there'

'Lee Dixon will be up against two South American left-handers tonight.'

'Think of a number between 10 and 11'

'You don't want to be giving away free kicks in the penalty area'

'How are they defensively, attacking-wise?'

'The ball goes down the keeper's throat where it hits him on the knees to say the least'

'He should get his head to those. He is twelve foot tall.'

'He had acres of time there'

'That’s not the type of header you want to see your defender make, with his hand'

'His head just disappeared into his shoulders'

'They scored too early'

'Chelsea are the team who can break the Arsenal and Manchester United monopoly.'

'We haven't had a strategic free kick all night. No one's knocked over attackers ad lib'

'You can see the ball go past them, or the man, but you'll never see both man and ball go past at the same time. So if the ball goes past, the man won't, or if the man goes past they'll take the ball.'

'van Nistelrooy, predating as usual...'

hilarious stuff

[osarusan]

just check out my signature..............classic motson.

kevin keegan on some striker - "he literally has no left foot....well, not literally."