Things to say when you are drunk

[A face]

Difficult words to say when you are drunk......

* Innovative
* Preliminary
* Proliferation


Impossible phrases to say when you are drunk.....

* Thanks, but I don't want sex
* No, I don't want another drink
* No Burger for me thanks
* Sorry, but you are not quite good looking enough for me
* Good evening Garda

[A face]

Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should
> make things a little bit more clear . . .
>
> IN PRISON . . . you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
> AT WORK . . . you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
>
> IN PRISON . . . you get three meals a day.
> AT WORK . . . you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for
> it.
>
> IN PRISON . . . you get time off for good behavior.
> AT WORK . . . you get more work for good behavior.
>
> IN PRISON . . . the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
> AT WORK . . . you must carry around a security card and open all the doors
> for yourself.
>
> IN PRISON . . . you can watch TV and play games.
> AT WORK . . . you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
>
> IN PRISON . . . you get your own toilet.
> AT WORK . . . you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
>
> IN PRISON . . . they allow your family and friends to visit.
> AT! ! WORK . . . you can't even speak to your family.
>
> IN PRISON . . . all expenses are paid by the taxpayer with no work
> required.
> AT WORK . . . you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they
> deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
>
> IN PRISON . . . you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get
> out.
> AT WORK . . . you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside
> bars.
>
> IN PRISON . . . you must deal with sadistic wardens.
> AT WORK . . . they are called managers.