New meaning to the word 'Slapper'

[hamish]

Hey Hey, shhtop takin' the pi$$ of my fellow countyman and sheep fancier

[Green Tribe]

Hey Hey, shhtop takin' the pi$$ of my fellow countyman and sheep fancier

Moi? Jamais!

[hamish]

Moi? Jamais!

and ssshtop usin' that kinda language!!

[Green Tribe]

and ssshtop usin' that kinda language!!

Pourquoi mon ami?

[hamish]

You reminded me of a young lad who stayed with the family for a month in the 70s. He was French, dark and very handsome and called Pascal. He lived up to the French stereotype regarding affairs of the heart.
Myself and my mates took him to music session in Gullanes Hotel, downtown.
He kept asking me: "Noellllle, what you say to young girls if you want to get a dance or a date?
I duly educated him and sent him on his way, having made sure my mates heard all.
He approached a young one, obviously tried to engage in conversation and.........SLAP... he got a ferious whack across his face.
Chastened, he returned to us mystified.
I asked him, did you folow the correct procedure I thought you?
He said, Oui, Noellllle, I said my name, asked her name and offered her a drink.
OK so far, said I. Then did you follow up with the rest of the advice?
Oui, he said.
I said "Are you goooooood for eeeeeeeet? Then, Noooelle, she hit me, non!!
Why? Why?
I kept a straight face and extended my condolences.
He got lucky later on with a bird I fancied.
Justice done, I supose.

[Green Tribe]

Evil Hamish!

[Green Tribe]

night-night all, morning actually FFS! Birds are tweeting and the fecking pigeons are humming and humping as normal outside, noisy gits!

[hamish]

Sleep well, kind KT and don't have nightmares after the new photo ya saw of me in that Britney game.

[paul_oshea]

are humming and humping as normal outside

LOL