Lonely hearts advertisements

[OwlsFan]

Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man
who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and
starting fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.
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Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long-time fiancée,
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this
cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.
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Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed and ****ty after
a few pints, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
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Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old *******, living in a damp cottage in the
arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde l ady, with a
lovely chest.
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Devil-worshiper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady, for wining and
dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks, and slaughtering cats
in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
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Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the
night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
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Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed
supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister

[Gerrit]

Devil-worshiper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady, for wining and
dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks, and slaughtering cats
in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.

How gothic ! If it were a woman I may have given it a go (except for the cat slaughtering)