Once upon a time in the
kingdom of
Heaven God went missing for seven days. Eventually, Michael the
Archangel
found him.He enquired of God "Where were you?" God breathed a deep

sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the
clouds. Look son, look at what I'm after making". Archangel
Michael looked puzzled
and
said "What is it?" God replied "It's another planet, but I'm after

putting Life on It. I've named it Earth and there's going to be
a
balance
between everything on it. For example, there's North America and
South
America. North America is going to be rich and South America will
be
poor,
and the narrow bit joining them,that will be a hot spot. Now look
over
here I've put a continent of whites in the North and another one
of
blacks in the South." Then the Archangel said "What's that green
dot
there?" Ahhh, that's the Emerald Isle," God said, "that's a very

special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on >Earth,

beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and exquisite coastline.
These
people here are going to be great crack and they're going to be found

travelling the world. They'll be playwrights and poets, singers and

songwriters And I'm going to give them this black liquid, which
they're
going to go mad on, and for which people will come from the far
corners of
the Earth to drink." Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and

admiration, then seemingly startled, he said, "Hold on a second,
what

about BALANCE, you said there was going to be balance..?" God
replied
wisely, "Wait until you see the ****ers I'm putting next door to
them!!