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Thread: Monkeys

  1. #1
    Capped Player
    Jun 2001
    Dublin 7
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    Talking Monkeys

    Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.

    Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

    Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

    Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.
    The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.

    Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

    After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless,
    no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

    Why not?

    Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

    And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.

    Bring back Rocketman!

  2. #2
    Capped Player A face's Avatar
    Jun 2001
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    Mary had a little skirt
    with splits right up the sides
    and every time that Mary walked
    the boys could see her Thighs
    Mary had another skirt
    twas split right up the front
    ...but she didn't wear that one very often

    Mary had a little lamb
    Her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her,
    between two chunks of bread.

    Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
    What have you got there?
    Said the Pieman unto Simon,
    Pies, you ********.

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
    All the kings horses and all the kings men,
    said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.

    Mary had a little lamb
    It ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up it's ass
    and turned it's wool to nylon

    Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
    Kissed the girls and made them cry.
    When the boys came out to play,
    He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    to have some hanky panky.
    Silly Jill forgot her pill
    And now there's little franky.

    Old Mother Hubbard
    Went to the cupboard
    to fetch her poor dog a bone.
    When she bent over
    Rover took over,
    And gave her a bone of his own.

    Little Boy Blew.
    Hey. He needed the money
    The SFAI are the governing body for grassroots football in Ireland, not the FAI. Its success or the lack of is all down to them.

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