Rewriting History
A Pete Goulding Poem


I don’t believe that I said that
I thought Glenn Crowe was slow and fat.
That statement, sure, is quite absurd –
I think I must have been misheard.
Actually, the phrase I used –
Before it was so disabused –
Was that I thought that Mister Crowe
Was far from being fat and slow.

Nor did I state, as I recall,
That Bobby Ryan should wear a shawl
And stay inside throughout the day,
Lest he should frighten kids away.
In fact, I stated that I pity
Those who do not find him pretty,
And thought this bronzed Adonis god’ll
Have no problems as a model.

I did not say in rhyme or prose
A word ‘bout Colin Hawkins’ nose,
And certainly I would refute a
Charge I ridiculed his hooter,
For, as I’ve previously cautioned,
Said nose is perfectly proportioned,
And is the ultimate example
Of one that’s neither bent nor ample.

Taken from www.soccercentral.ie