I strenuously object to your use of a live chicken in your self-beating. I realise that this may have been an attempt at humour but is setting a very poor example to impressionable younger fans.
For shame!
Poultry are our friends.
I demand that you desist from using live creatures in any way in connection with your body. If we can send people to de space station surely a flagellation-friendly psuedo-chicken can be created. It is your penance to search out such an object and whip yourself twice nightly for a 5 decades or until City do de quadruple (which ever comes quickest).
May de lord have mercy on your soul...
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