Greek Immigration Officer - "Name please ?"
- "Angela Merkel"
Greek Immigration Officer - "Occupation ?"
- "No, just here for a few days."
Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.
Robbie Keane said he was delighted to meet President Obama in the White House. He's supported him since he was a boy.
I like high energy football. A little bit rock and roll. Many finishes instead of waiting for the perfect one.
My mate set me up on a blind date.
He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby."
I felt like a right flipping idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy.
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
https://kesslereffect.bandcamp.com/album/kepler - New music. It's not that bad.
I'm currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It's called b*tches & hoes.
https://kesslereffect.bandcamp.com/album/kepler - New music. It's not that bad.
I met my girlfriend speed dating
we both had a lot of explaining to do
Long Live King Kenny
I like high energy football. A little bit rock and roll. Many finishes instead of waiting for the perfect one.
Saw a fella carrying a ladder the other day...you should have seen what he got up too.
My Goal Is To Deny Yours...
Definition of Pressure:
a wife
a mistress
and a mortgage
all one month late
Long Live King Kenny
For a laugh with a few mates Chuck Norris peed into the petrol tank of a lorry. The lorry became known after that day Optimus Prime
Long Live King Kenny
Man walks into a fishmongers with a large Salmon under his arm.
"Do you do fishcakes?" - ask's the man.
"We do yeah?" - replies the fishmonger.
"Well can you do one for this fella - he's 2 today".
The young Chinese swimming ace,Ye Shiwen, was asked if the she'd take a gender test following her two gold medals at the Olympics. "I will in me ballix", she replied!
Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.
I like high energy football. A little bit rock and roll. Many finishes instead of waiting for the perfect one.
after seeing a photgraph of RVP and his wife, Ryan Giggs has vowed to treat him like a brother
Long Live King Kenny
Top Ten from Edinburgh Fringe ....
1) "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks." – Stewart Francis
2) "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly." – Tim Vine
3) "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister." – Will Marsh
4) "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case." – Rob Beckett
5) "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet … I don't know Y." – Chris Turner
6) "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze." – Tim Vine
7) "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating." – George Ryegold
8 ) "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!" – Stewart Francis
9) "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad." – Lou Sanders
10) "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism … she wouldn't fancy her chances." – Nish Kumar
I like high energy football. A little bit rock and roll. Many finishes instead of waiting for the perfect one.
not a joke but sill very funny. enjoy
https://www.facebook.com/sminkyanimation
After watching all those shorts. Class...
But this one made me guffaw.
DID YOU NOTICE A SIGN OUTSIDE MY HOUSE...?
This is a classic. Can't believe I've gone so long without seeing it again.
DID YOU NOTICE A SIGN OUTSIDE MY HOUSE...?
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