What do you call a girl with two c--ts ?
SPOILER: N-dubs
My girlfriend and I went to stay with her parents at the weekend, but her dad wouldn't let us sleep together.
Which is a shame, because I really fancy him.
Gran's always up for a laugh, so for a bit of a practical joke, I put her walking stick out of her reach ..
I just can't believe she fell for it.
I hate people that say, "He's a nice person once you get to know him."
They might as well just say, "He's a ********, but you'll get used to it."
At least after the 2022 World Cup, Qatar will have some cracking stadiums to stone women in.
FIFA blames Panorama for 2018 World Cup bid failure.
FIFA says: "England crossed the line."
Well at least they noticed it this time
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
What do you call a girl with two c--ts ?
SPOILER: N-dubs
Just got home and found all the doors and windows open and everything taken.
What kind of sicko does that to someones Advent calendar?
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
unique up on him...
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
I like high energy football. A little bit rock and roll. Many finishes instead of waiting for the perfect one.
A kid comes home from primary school beaming with delight:
"Dad, I've got a part in the school play"
"Really son, that's great, who do you play?"
"I play a man who has been married for 25 years!"
"Oh" [disappointed] "...um...well... Try your best, if you do a really good job next time they might give you a speaking part"
Aaaaa said the sheep with no lips
Larry Be Wyse
www.acsportsimages.com
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dave.
Dave who?
...Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimers is getting worse.
I like high energy football. A little bit rock and roll. Many finishes instead of waiting for the perfect one.
So the SPL is going to a ten team league....the must be adding eight teams so.
My Goal Is To Deny Yours...
My fcking neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning.
Can you believe that?! 2:30am!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
I like high energy football. A little bit rock and roll. Many finishes instead of waiting for the perfect one.
Kate Middleton has asked the Queen the secret to a long married life.
The Queen replied 'Wear a seat belt & don't p*** me off.'
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
I once dated a dolphin. We just clicked.
See Gary Glitter is taking over at Aston Villa! He heard the strikers are Young and Bent plus their getting Keane!!
roddy collins should be a comedian!!
Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.
Just saw Brian Cowen in IKEA! He was looking for a cabinet.
Bray Wanderers: So good they were relegated twice (and still stayed up).
The boys were playing FIFA 11 last night and I picked up the controller. Andy Gray shouted at me "get back to the kitchen."
I like high energy football. A little bit rock and roll. Many finishes instead of waiting for the perfect one.
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