QuoteWhats the difference between AIDS and the England football team???
AIDS will be still in South Africa tomorrow!!!!!
– David Blaine is reportedly furious after England crashed
out of the World Cup – his record of doing absolutely nothing in
a box for 42 days was broken by Wayne Rooney.
Whats the difference between AIDS and the England football team???
AIDS will be still in South Africa tomorrow!!!!!
Christiano Ronaldo had his first parenting lesson with his new son this morning.
"Right," said the midwife, "what should you do if he starts crying and having a tantrum?"
"Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the floor," replied the baby.
My Goal Is To Deny Yours...
I booked an asian prostitute last night but she arrived 2 hours late.
She loved me wrong time.
Ahhh
In the jungle, South African jungle
Three lions sleep tonight
Cos in the morning, the early morning
They have to catch a flight
A win no way, a win no way
A win no way, a win no way
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Well done England, you've managed to beat a country where the currency is cabbage.
John Terry: "If they can't be honest, there is no point being out here," said the love-cheat son of a drugs dealer and shoplifter.
Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didn't break into the dressing room after all, but was let in by Rob Green.
What do you get when you cross a Lampard shot with a disallowed goal?
50 million England fans unable to accept that they lost 4-1 not 4-2.
Robert Green... now that's one spill the Americans won't complain about, eh?
This Friday, 19:30, two nations meet, England vs Algeria.
One is the birth place of terrorists and home to Islamic fundamentalists who live by Sharia Law in slums and shanty towns.
The other is Algeria.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Decky, what's it like living 2 weeks behind everyone else?
He's in Belgium....Originally Posted by De Town
Nuff Said
My Goal Is To Deny Yours...
Not bad at all actually
Me was in Disneyland for a while.
Edit: I forgot one:
I can't believe we only managed a draw against a **** team we should easily have beaten.
I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.
Last edited by Deckydee; 08/07/2010 at 7:18 AM.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Now, now!He's in Belgium....
Nuff Said
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Cristiano Ronaldo had his first parenting lesson with his new son this
morning.
"Right" said the midwife, "what should you do if the baby starts crying
and having a tantrum?"
"Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the f***ing floor"
replied the newborn.
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
You robbed my joke!!!!
My Goal Is To Deny Yours...
So the germans have said that England's "goal'' being disallowed is fine and acceptable as it was simply karma for the Russian linesman incident in '66. Well said Germany and on a similar note i have opened a wonderfully ligitimate new recreational shower chamber that 6 million of you should pop along to,free of charge,and discuss the ins and outs of your karma theory.
Ahhh
I told my girlfriend that her new bikini is too tight and revealing.
She said that if I feel like that then I should wear something else.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Iraq drastically needs to reduce its car bomb footprint.
Predictive text is for aunts.
Ahhh
Can someone please help me with my Call of Duty: French Edition?
The game just loads up to the main menu and the only option is 'Quit'.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
This is an old one but I love it!
Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies.
-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Discoveries and Inventions by Men and Women
Men discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Women discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.
Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.
Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
Thereafter Men have discovered and invented a lot of things… While Women STUCK to shopping.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Words of Wisdom
Lucky: One who gets the opportunity
Brilliant: One who creates the opportunity
Winner: One who uses the opportunity.
The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them.
There are two types of people who are failures in life... Those who do not listen to anybody and those who listen to everybody.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.
Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.
Take everything in moderation. Including moderation.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.
Never be proud, nor be depressed for what you are and the position you hold. Because after the game of chess, the king and the soldiers go into the same box.
Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.
"Behind every successful man, there is a woman" But nobody knows the fact "Women go only behind the successful men".
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Was just driving past Old Trafford and I saw a huge poster outside with stars Patrice Evra and Park-Ji-Sung advertising Nike.
At first I thought it was an ad for Rush Hour 4.
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