What do you call a bear with a penis and testicles on its head?
Genital Ben
.
.
.
What ET short for??
Because he only has little legs
You show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser - Vince Lombardi
The ET one is my fav of all time along with "What do you call Postman Pat when he retires? PAT!"
How do you make a monkey cross??
Nail two monkey's together
You show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser - Vince Lombardi
What do you get when you pour tea down a rabbit hole?
A hot cross bunny.
A blonde girl is out walking on a sunny day.
she notices a boy in the field stood by himself while all the other kids
are running around having fun she takes pity on him and decides to speak
to him
'you ok?' she says
'yes' he says
'you can play with the other kids you know' she says
' its best I stay here' he says
'why?' says the blonde
The boy says 'Because I am the f'n goalie'
I'm a bloke,I'm an ocker
And I really love your knockers,I'm a labourer by day,
I **** up all me pay,Watching footy on TV,
Just feed me more VB,Just pour my beer,And get my smokes, And go away
At a surgical conference 3 surgeons, one from Israel, one from the UK, and the third from Ireland, are discussing the wonders of modern medecine. the Israeli surgeon says "In my country we can take the lungs out of one man and put them into another and have him back at work in 3 months".
The UK surgeon says "That's nothing, in my country we can take the lungs out of one man and put them into another and have him back at work in only 2 months". Finally the Irish surgeon pipes up "Ye think that's good lads, in my country we can take an ar$ehole out of Offaly, put him into government and he'll have the whole country out of work in 4 months".
Rohypnol is a load of ********.
I've taken it for the past few weeks and haven't scored once.
Courtesy of sickipeadia
My hot water heater's packed up, so I had to fill the bath using a kettle and a load of saucepans...
...it was ****ing uncomfortable when I got in.
I just dont get it, everyone goes on about David Beckham being thick...... but no one says anything about Stephen Hawking being rubbish at football do they?!
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Fox News continues on its mission to dumb down America...
Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman...
"Mr Cook?"
"Yes," I replied.
"I'm afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike."
I said, "That's Rubbish, 'cause my dog doesn't have a bike!"
Female suicide bomber runs in to a pet shop and yells, "You all have 30 seconds to get out!"
Tortoise at the back shouts, "You ***t!"
Last edited by strangeirish; 15/08/2008 at 5:32 PM.
Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.
Everyone talks about how good Viagra is...but it takes 30 minutes to work...i find after 30 minutes the girl has normally managed to wriggle away.
My Goal Is To Deny Yours...
Who was watching Frankie Boyle on Mock The Week last week then ?
Funny guy he is too.I like his line about paedophiles, "the grey macs, the glasses, just what is it about that look that children find so sexy?" Shockingly bad taste I know, one of those jokes you know you shouldn't really find funny but still
Out for a spell, got neglected, lay on the bench unselected.
The chap is pure genius. His bit about political correctness a few weeks back had me choking with laughter. I had it posted here but bottled it in the end!
Last edited by stann; 19/08/2008 at 6:24 AM.
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