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Thread: Jokes (READ FIRST POST)

  1. #521
    Youth Team field's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Block G Raptor
    I see what you mean
    Exactly, you´ve got it!
    Every disadvantage has its advantage!(JC, nr. 14)

  2. #522
    New Signing hamish's Avatar
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    or how how about - "not the first time I've seen a c.unt under an Ajax cap"


    Two Sligo Rovers supporting farmers are flying with their herd of sheep to a new farm.
    Suddenly, the plane engine fails and it rapidly descends towards the ground.
    Rovers Fan 1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!
    Rovers Fan 2: What about the sheep ???
    Rovers Fan 1: Fcuk the sheep!!!
    Rovers Fan 2: ...(pause)... Do you think we have time?

    Last edited by sligoman; 17/03/2006 at 1:36 AM.

  3. #523
    Seasoned Pro Ash's Avatar
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    hope this wasnt opsted before

    Q. What did St Patrick say to the snakes when he was
    driving them out of Ireland?


    A. Are you all right there in the back lads?

    Boom Boom!

  4. #524
    Youth Team field's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sirhamish
    or how how about - "not the first time I've seen a c.unt under an Ajax cap"
    Fine by me!
    Every disadvantage has its advantage!(JC, nr. 14)

  5. #525
    Seasoned Pro Risteard's Avatar
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    How does Bob Marley like his sandwiches?
    With Jam in.

    What does he say when he's making a sandwich for you?
    City definetly have the best bands playing at half-time.

    O'Bama - "Eerah yeah, I'd say we can alright!"

    G.O'Mahoney Trapattoni'll sort ém out!!

  6. #526
    Seasoned Pro Block G Raptor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Risteard
    How does Bob Marley like his sandwiches?
    With Jam in.

    What does he say when he's making a sandwich for you?
    I Hope you like Jam in too

  7. #527
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    two blondes walk into a door,

    you think one of them would have noticed it!!

    Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy
    marijuana, press the hash key..."


    I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
    couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the
    steaks are too high."
    --------
    A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is
    there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have
    look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then
    checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him
    down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? "No, because he's really heavy"
    --------
    what do ye call a serbian prostitute?

    slobbardon mecockyebitch
    Last edited by sligoman; 17/03/2006 at 1:35 AM.
    I'm a bloke,I'm an ocker
    And I really love your knockers,I'm a labourer by day,
    I **** up all me pay,Watching footy on TV,
    Just feed me more VB,Just pour my beer,And get my smokes, And go away

  8. #528
    Seasoned Pro strangeirish's Avatar
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    Russian castration person?

    Ivan ackanickinimoff.
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  9. #529
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    dont get that oh strange one.

    what do you call a bulgarian with 3 testicles:

    whudya nicabollikov

    a chinese paedophile?

    fcuk em young
    Last edited by sligoman; 17/03/2006 at 1:34 AM.
    I'm a bloke,I'm an ocker
    And I really love your knockers,I'm a labourer by day,
    I **** up all me pay,Watching footy on TV,
    Just feed me more VB,Just pour my beer,And get my smokes, And go away

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    Seasoned Pro Block G Raptor's Avatar
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    Russian prostitute?
    Anya Bacyobich

  11. #531
    Seasoned Pro strangeirish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paul_oshea
    dont get that oh strange one.
    I've a knack of nickin' 'em off.
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  12. #532
    Youth Team field's Avatar
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    Well lads, I very much like reading your jokes as long as you don´t make a laugh about the concentrationcamps (or is it concentrationsites?) of the Germans during World War 2, as my grandfather died there.

    He fell of a watchtower!
    Last edited by sligoman; 17/03/2006 at 1:36 AM.
    Every disadvantage has its advantage!(JC, nr. 14)

  13. #533
    New Signing hamish's Avatar
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    German name for a condom.

    Fitz-noish-und-toit

  14. #534
    Viva El Presidente! sligoman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sirhamish
    Two Sligo Rovers supporting farmers are flying with their herd of sheep to a new farm.
    Suddenly, the plane engine fails and it rapidly descends towards the ground.
    Rovers Fan 1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!
    Rovers Fan 2: What about the sheep ???
    Rovers Fan 1: Fcuk the sheep!!!
    Rovers Fan 2: ...(pause)... Do you think we have time?

    So old Hamish .
    Life without Rovers, it makes no sense...it's a heartache...nothing but a fools game. S.R.F.C.


  15. #535
    Seasoned Pro Block G Raptor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sirhamish
    German name for a condom.

    Fitz-gud-und-toit
    Not as old as that one

    First time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell out of my cradle and landed in Dinosaur Shyte

  16. #536
    Seasoned Pro strangeirish's Avatar
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    One eyed Irish woman?

    Aine Ó Súilleabháin
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  17. #537
    International Prospect DmanDmythDledge's Avatar
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    Two gay guys are in a toilet. One looks at the others dick and notices that he has a nicotine patch on it. He says, "Hey, does that actually work?", to which he replies, "Yeah, I havn't had a fag for ages."

    The FAI
    Last edited by sligoman; 19/03/2006 at 12:27 PM.

  18. #538
    New Signing hamish's Avatar
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    This plump bird was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie."Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed.
    "No," said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you one wish."
    "Let's see," says the plump bird, "I don't need money, because my dad left me millions in his will. And I don't need fame, because my dad was a world famous businessman and I'm famous 'cos I'm his daughter.
    I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish I would like my love handles removed."
    "Poof!"And just like that... her ears were gone.

    Next post - what's witten on toilet walls.

  19. #539
    Seasoned Pro dfx-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmandmythdledge
    The FAI
    The Licensing system
    The Model Club

    Tell all the Bohs you know
    that we've gone and won two-in-a-row
    and it's not gonna be three
    and it's not gonna be four
    it's more likely to be 5-1.

  20. #540
    New Signing hamish's Avatar
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    Graffiti

    If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving isn't for you.

    My liver is evil and must be punished

    Mrs. Dracula complains, "That husband of mine is a pain in the neck"

    A lady called Alice from Dallas
    Who ne're had the feel of a phalus,
    She remained virgo intacta
    Because, ipso facto,
    No phallus in Dallas fit Alice


    Scene from Pirates of the Caribbean - Part 36.
    "OOooooooooooooo aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr, der be buggery board m'ship!
    There be taste o' sh!t off de first mate's pr!ck"

    For any Indians computer engineers visiting the country.
    There once was a man from Bengal
    Who had a hexagonal ball
    Along with its mate
    Plus his penis plus eight
    Was twice the square root of fcuk all


    What does a hermaphrodite call his means of transportation?
    A bisexual built for two.

    PRESERVE WILD LIFE!!! Throw a student party

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