I've just tried to woo a girl at the bus stop, but she wasn't interested.Obviously not a fan of Ric Flair.
My Goal Is To Deny Yours...
After signing his contract for Stoke City, Jonathan Woodgate has been ruled out for 10 weeks with a wrist injury
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
Doctors had offered Victoria Beckham gas and air when giving birth to Harper Seven, but she declined.
She wasn't that hungry apparently.
What kind of a ridiculous name is that that Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy have given their son, "Bing"?
My son Google p!ssed himself laughing when I told him.
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
Was this not posted before?
DID YOU NOTICE A SIGN OUTSIDE MY HOUSE...?
yes it was.
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
Missus said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?" I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."
She replied, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"
I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst w@nking?"
Amy Winehouse, died at 27
Janis Joplin, died at 27
Jim Morrison, died at 27
Jimi Hendrix, died at 27
Kurt Cobain, died at 27
Justin Bieber turns 27 in 2021.
Patience,my friends.
Some random pics off the internet -
Last edited by pineapple stu; 26/07/2011 at 11:42 AM.
Rupert and James Murdoch are quoted as saying they are very touched by messages of support left on Amy Winehouse's phone.
George Best and Alex Higgins can't believe that heaven is getting a winehouse!
I really don't get karaoke, I just don't see the point of it.
I mean, if I want to see a hopeless drunk murder an Amy Winehouse song, I'll go to an Amy Winehouse gig.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist thinks it will change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Your joke died last weekend. Jokes about her death are currently in.Originally Posted by Deckydee
A foreigners guide to Ireland
Ireland is an island to the west of Britain but Northern Ireland is just off the mainland - not the Irish mainland, the British mainland.
The capital of Ireland is Dublin . It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland , but still pay in Euros.
Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be in Ireland , but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK . Had the campaign lasted longer the North might now be in France .
Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland It has a population of half a million, half of whom have houses in Donegal. Donegal is in the north but not in the North. It is in the South. No, not the south, the South.
There are two parliaments in Ireland The Dublin parliament is called the Dáil, (pronounced "Doyle"), an Irish word meaning a place where banks receive taxpayers' money.The one in Belfast is called Stormont, an Anglo-Saxon word meaning placebo, or deliberately ineffective drug.
Their respective jurisdictions are defined by the border, an imaginary line on the map to show fuel launderers where to dump chemical waste.
Protestants are in favour of the border, which generates millions of pounds in smuggling for Catholics, who are opposed to it.
Travel between the two states is complicated because Ireland is the only country in the world with two M1 motorways. The one in the North goes west to avoid the south and the one in the South goes north to avoid the price of drink.
We have two types of democracy in Ireland . Dublin democracy works by holding a referendum and then allowing the government to judge the result. If the government thinks the result is wrong, the referendum is held again. Twice in recent years the government decided the people's choice was wrong and ordered a new referendum.
Belfast democracy works differently. It has a parliament with no opposition, so the government is always right. This system generates envy in many world capitals, especially Dublin
Ireland has three economies - northern, southern and black. Only the black economy is in the black. The other two are in the red.
All versions of the IRA claim to be the real IRA but only one of them is the Real IRA. The North's biggest industry is the production of IRAs. Consequently, we now have the Provisional, Continuity and Real IRA. The Real IRA is by far the most popular among young graffiti writers simply because it is the easiest to spell.
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