ten things worse for leeds fans than alan smith joining the real united

**max power** · 19/05/2004, 11:40 AM

HERE is a top ten list of things that could be worse then even Alan Smith moving to Man Utd.....

10. Peter Reid comes back.

9. It’s revealed the Smith transfer is a swap deal: Leeds get £1m, plus Phil Neville and Diego Forlan.

8. Oil found under Elland Road; George Bush invades to liberate Leeds fans from "vile dictator" Gerald Krasner, with 200,000 troops, 500 tanks, 790 helicoptors, and a polaroid camera…

7. Howard Wilkinson returns……brandishing a dusty copy of Charles Hughes’ FA coaching manual.

6. Seth Johnson and Michael Duberry pledge their futures to the club.

5. Leeds United announces name change to: 'The Yorkshire Branch of the Manchester United Talent Spotting Academy'.

4. Stan Boardman booked for a morale-boosting post-season seminar.

3. Mark Viduka is sold without having technically asked for a transfer, so is due "loyalty bonus": he takes all the balti pies.

2. At the 11th hour, Leeds snatch Emile Heskey from under the nose of Birmingham City.

1. The new season starts.