The Night Santa Went Crazy

[A face]

I could have posted this up here before but here ya go again anyhoo !!

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The Night Santa Went Crazy.
By "Weird Al" Yankovic

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath

From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all- now you're all gonna DIE!"

The night Santa when crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been getting' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News and helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin' and everyone's dyin'
to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With er lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talking' bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of getting' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something must have snapped... in his brain

[DolansWaistcoat]

Good stuff,a bit long though,I skipped about four verses.
The Podge and Rodge song about shooting santa is a good one two.

[tetsujin1979]

ah, Fester and Ailin. Eases the pain:

Verse I
Christmas bells are ringin,
reeds hangin on the door,
the fairys on the tree,
presents on the floor,
Santa Clause is comin,
all the childrens waitings done,
but i wouldn't hold your breath kids,
cause Ailins got his gun.

Chorus
There's a dead man up the chimney we call him old st. Nick,
we shot him up the arse and poked him with a stick,
Oh' Christmas is cancelled old white beared is dead,
we tried to pull him down we 'll have to burn him out instead.

Verse II
T'was a quiet Christmas Eve,
we were snuggled up in bed,
we heard hooves upon the roof,
thats when Ailin raised his head.
He ran down through the front room randishing his gun,
aimed it up the chimney,
shot the intruder up the bum.

Chorus
There's a dead man up the chimney we call him old st. Nick,
we shot him up the arse and poked him with a stick,
Oh' Christmas is cancelled old white beared is dead,
we tried to pull him down we 'll have to burn him out instead.

Verse III
There'll be no more singin,
there'll be no more joy,
with the reigndeers put down and the elves are unemployed,
don't bother with the tree,
no more excitment going to bed,
cause Ailin shot old Santy Clause and pumped him full of led.

Chorus
There's a dead man up the chimney we call him old st. Nick,
we shot him up the arse and poked him with a stick,
Oh' Christmas is cancelled old white beared is dead,
we tried to pull him down we 'll have to burn him out instead.

Podge: "So did ya slay Santa Ailin? What. Did you shoot him in the sack? Ruldof has a red nose,
with blood! C'mon kids!