Alternative Predictions for 2009

[Mr A]

First Club to miss wage payments:
First Club to transfer list entire squad:
First club to enter examinership:
First Club (if any) to go under completely:
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above:

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year:
Number of times Bohs lose court cases:
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up:
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards:
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously:
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City:
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds:
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK:
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght:
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens:
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year:

[Dodge]

Now we're talking

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork (already - 1 up)
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Cork
First club to enter examinership: Cork
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Cobh
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: 6.2%

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Dundalk to be deduced 3 points for having 5 weirdos in midfield
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 3
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 3
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: July
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 4
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: all of them
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 7 months, 2 weeks, 3 days
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: April
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: June
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: all of them
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 14
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: all of them

[Rovers1]

First Club to miss wage payments: Galway
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Galway at the end of the season
First club to enter examinership: Noone this year
First Club (if any) to go under completely: noone
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: N/A

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 0
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 4 timers, each corner
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 1
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: Arpil
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 800
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 900
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: never mind Derry, what about Drogs!
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: tomorrow
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: never
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 5
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 6/9
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year:12

[Celdrog]

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork City
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Sligo Rovers
First club to enter examinership: Bohemians
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Kildare County
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: 70%

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:Team walking off pitch
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year:2
Number of times Bohs lose court cases:1
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: June
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards:7
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 14
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 7 months
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: April
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: Won't happen
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: Six
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: March
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 3

[Dunny]

First Club to miss wage payments:Cork
First Club to transfer list entire squad:Galway
First club to enter examinership:?
First Club (if any) to go under completely:Nobody Hopefully
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above:Zilch

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:1
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:Mental Mickey knocking out each and every ref..
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year:3
Number of times Bohs lose court cases:?
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up:Ahh
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards:Impossile to tell..
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously:Every MNS he's on.
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City:
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds:
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK:July
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght:http://www.travelingourway.org/images/gay_flag.gif
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens:
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year:One every Sunday.

[oldyouth]

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Drogheda
First club to enter examinership: Bohs
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Cobh
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: 0% (with a + - 5% margin of error)

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: Is he the French player????
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Youths fielding Pat Dolan whilst ineligible or A team refusing to play 'cos the floodlights are so bright, it was impossible to play on for safety reasons
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 0, I think everybody has bought it at this stage
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 1
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: March 6th
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 1
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 2
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 12 months
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: April
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: Mid season break
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: They'll all be nicked by April, so it doesn't matter
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 20, followed by 15 'Ayes'
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 5 official, 5 unofficial and 2 miscellaneous

[GalwayRed]

First Club to miss wage payments:Cork City
First Club to transfer list entire squad:Bohemians
First club to enter examinership:Galway United
First Club (if any) to go under completely:Wont happen
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: .05/10

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:4
Most bizarre reason for points deductionundalk will be deducted 3 points because Galway United fielded an ineligible player
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year:2
Number of times Bohs lose court cases:124
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up:May
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards:4
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously:259
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City:194 days from date of sale
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds:March
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: August
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght:7
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens:13 weeks, 124 times
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 5

[gufc2000]

Why will we be the first team to miss a wage payment?

[shantykelly]

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Galway
First club to enter examinership: Limerick
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Harps
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: Quite likely, as long as its Cadbury's Fudge all round.

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:5
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:fielding a suspended player after failing to receive notification of said suspension due to the fact that the fax machine had a blown fuse, the email was overloaded with porn, and well, the mobile number was changed and we just didnt want to give the new one out to just anybody!
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: three and a quarter
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 0. After watching the movie 'Hitman' the bohs board feel they have found a more 'direct' solution to their problems
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: first time or second?
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 4
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: How many are there on the league again?
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: Transfer fee? sure the player wasnt offered a new contract on the regulation paper, therefore we dont have to pay any transfer fee.
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: may. in june its rhinos.
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: august.
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: all the colours of the rainbow. sdcc want to simultaneously promote a safe venue for gay pride marches in dublin.
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 3 weeks after the second full moon of the season.
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: x to the power of n

[Celdrog]

Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: They'll all be nicked by April, so it doesn't matter

Brilliant

[Black and White]

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork City
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Galway
First club to enter examinership: Galway
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Fingal
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: 100% definitly not

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: ALL
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: striekers
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 5
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 5
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: Obv July cause hes on a 6 month contract
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 4(all against Drogs)
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 10
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City:?
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: July
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK:July
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: All
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: after every gmae
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 2

I Like!

[thesilverfox]

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Cork
First club to enter examinership: Bohs/Dundalk
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Sadly Cobh
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: 62.372%

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Michael Collins disciplinary record
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: As many as it takes to keep Fenlon
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: See above
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: Never. Him and SC is a match made in heaven
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 4
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 110
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 80 days
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: June
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: Never. Him and Pat's is a match made in heaven
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 4
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens:2
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 52

[gufc2000]

First Club to miss wage payments:
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Cork
First club to enter examinership: Cork/Bohemians
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Cobh
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: Seen as its Cork they'll probably pay the wages for them. Anyone else they'll just get some new team to enter the league

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 2
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Sporting Fingal are deducted 40 points because they are too good for Div. 1. In an effort to make the Division more competitve Fingal are docked points and end up finishing bottom, with Mervue taking the Div 1 crown, but are told they cannot be promoted because one team from Galway is enough in the Premier
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 0
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 1
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: July
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 4
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 63
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 2 years
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: June
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: June. Leaves Pats saying he had to take this oppurtunity . He takes the job of Fisher Athletic. His assistant Peschisolido is promoted to the Pats job
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 4
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: Every time they lose he'll have a rant, and will use the phrase after every game
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year:1

I'm telling ya lads this is going to be a strange season

[Mr A]

First Club to miss wage payments: Bohs
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Sligo (as a ploy obviously)
First club to enter examinership: Bohs
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Cobh (Unfortunately they look fecked)
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: Depends on who is affected...

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Fielding a completely ineligible team
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 3
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 4
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: June
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 8
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 10 to the power of 6
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 3.5 years
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: March
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: June
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 10
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 5, 10 to the power of 6
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 20

[GuisaSaigon]

First Club to miss wage payments: Shligo
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Shligo
First club to enter examinership: Shligo
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Shligo
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: They will probably send Noel Mooney down again to coax the women and children away from the beach and into the Showgrounds

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Kit clash with Wexford youths away kit!
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 3
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 4
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: April
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 8
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 500
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: Transfer fee? You are not expected to actually pay those are you?
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: March
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: Sacked by the end of March.
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 10
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: ?????????
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 40
Number of name changes for Limerick 37/City/United/F.C. : 3
__________________

[Rovers1]

First Club to miss wage payments: Shligo
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Shligo
First club to enter examinership: Shligo
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Shligo

slightly obsessed there GS?

[galwayhoop]

First Club to miss wage payments: CORK
First Club to transfer list entire squad: CORK
First club to enter examinership: DUNDALK
First Club (if any) to go under completely: NONE
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: NIL

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: WRONG COLOURED TAPE ON SOCKS
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 3
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 1 (A BIG ONE)
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: AUGUST
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 4
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: EVERYONE THAT IS MENTIONED ON MNS (IS IT DEFINATELY BACK THIS YEAR?)
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 9 MONTHS
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: APRIL
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: AUGUST/SEPTEMBER
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: SAME AMOUNT AS IN RAINBOW
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 3
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 3

[GuisaSaigon]

slightly obsessed there GS?

Completely!

[WoodquayBoy]

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Drogheda
First club to enter examinership: Athlone
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Athlone
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: Ha ha, good one

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 4
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Soakage capability of wristbands did not match conform to standards
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: They still own it at this stage?
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 1
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: April
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 5
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: Everyone, including Con Murphy, Rico, and Dave Barry
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: After next high-profile friendly
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: Press release going out as we speak: 'But people, what about the seals'
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: April
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 1, black after Hallowe'en
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 2
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 7

[Battery Rover]

First club to enter examinership: Athlone

We can't enter examinership as we are a members club and not a limited company.