Annoying phrases that only girlfriends come up with.

**Aberdonian Stu** · 19/09/2008, 2:13 PM

Originally Posted by Pauro 76

'Would you go out with her if I wasn't your girlfriend?'

A good lie for this one Pauro is the "Ah I don't think there'd be the same spark", it's very easy to say with a straight face.

**tetsujin1979** · 19/09/2008, 2:51 PM

Originally Posted by Aberdonian Stu

A good lie for this one Pauro is the "Ah I don't think there'd be the same spark", it's very easy to say with a straight face.

Until herself fires back with "why do you think that?" and then you're boned.

**Pauro 76** · 19/09/2008, 2:56 PM

Originally Posted by tetsujin1979

Until herself fires back with "why do you think that?" and then you're boned.

I find the best way is to say nothing and keep saying it. Another typical one for me is... (the lass doesnt drink..)

'How many pints do you drink when you're out with the guys.'

What in God's name sort of question is that at all?

**jinxy lilywhite** · 19/09/2008, 3:04 PM

Another one when you are coercied into to going clothes shopping with her. She trys on a dress and I'm honest enough to say yeah no or maybe. So she tries on this dress. She looks great. I say "gives you a lovely curvy figure" (IMO is better that stick insect) Her reply is "So you think I'm fat" along with 3 hours of the silent treatment
In my seven year sentence with this woman I have come to understand that women are aliens.

Singledom does have its merit but then so does regular sex

**OwlsFan** · 19/09/2008, 3:13 PM

Wife: "What do you think of this outfit?"
Me"Lovely".
5 minutes later..Wife: "What do you think of this outfit?"
Me: "Very nice.."
4 minutes later
Wife "What do you think of this outfit?"
Me: " Really nice".

Wife: "Well I don't like any of them. I have nothing in my wardrobe". Meanwhile I am getting in to the same jacket and trousers I've worn for the past 2 years.

**Roadend** · 19/09/2008, 3:24 PM

Originally Posted by tetsujin1979

Until herself fires back with "why do you think that?" and then you're boned.

Into the kinky stuff eh?

**newbie** · 19/09/2008, 4:19 PM

hate when a girl brings up your previous ehhh conquests out of the blue and asks "what number are you on anyway?" in my mind im going "oh crap!" cant say too low shel know im lying,too high and shel get offended!!

**Sheridan** · 19/09/2008, 4:21 PM

Many years ago I fended off the "do you think I'm putting on weight?" question only for it to be followed with a playful barrage of hypothetical questions. The last one was "Would you sacrifice me if everyone in Africa could eat for a year?" I responded, thinking it was very funny, "What are they going to do, feed you to them?"

It's true what they say, women have no sense of humour.

**newbie** · 19/09/2008, 4:26 PM

Originally Posted by Sheridan

Many years ago I fended off the "do you think I'm putting on weight?" question only for it to be followed with a playful barrage of hypothetical questions. The last one was "Would you sacrifice me if everyone in Africa could eat for a year?" I responded, thinking it was very funny, "What are they going to do, feed you to them?"

It's true what they say, women have no sense of humour.

yeh i agree with the no humour part Sheridan :

Was in the pub one Paddys Day and a load of us were having the craic when this less than well chest endowed girl that was with us shouts at me infront of everyone "WILL YOU STOP STARING AT MY CHEST (diferent word was used)!!!" i wasnt even looking so i just said sharp as i could "youd wanna grow a set before i look at them!!" me and the lads thought it was hilarious,i got a slap from her mate for my troubles though...was worth it

**stann** · 19/09/2008, 4:27 PM

Originally Posted by Sheridan

Many years ago I fended off the "do you think I'm putting on weight?" question only for it to be followed with a playful barrage of hypothetical questions. The last one was "Would you sacrifice me if everyone in Africa could eat for a year?" I responded, thinking it was very funny, "What are they going to do, feed you to them?"

It's true what they say, women have no sense of humour.

Pauro, please don't take this the wrong way but your girlfriend sounds like a nightmare! Maybe the way you've posted doesn't help, as it reads as if all those questions were fired at you in the one evening!

Originally Posted by Pauro 76

Another typical one for me is... (the lass doesnt drink..)

'How many pints do you drink when you're out with the guys.'

What in God's name sort of question is that at all?

I'd be very wary of this one though, it's quite easy to see the way she's thinking. The only follow up to this is 'Do you not think you could cut the pints down? Or even out altogether?' Don't say you weren't warned!

**Pauro 76** · 19/09/2008, 4:42 PM

Originally Posted by stann

Pauro, please don't take this the wrong way but your girlfriend sounds like a nightmare! Maybe the way you've posted doesn't help, as it reads as if all those questions were fired at you in the one evening!

Ah she can be at times. she can be a really nice girl a lot of the time and then she'd just hit me with these daft questions. These questions have been fired over a period of a few months.

I'd be very wary of this one though, it's quite easy to see the way she's thinking. The only follow up to this is 'Do you not think you could cut the pints down? Or even out altogether?' Don't say you weren't warned!

That has happened already. I've said she's got two chances, slim and none!

**sadloserkid** · 25/09/2008, 10:39 PM

My girlfriend came to her first LOI match recently. Limerick Vs. Dundalk. Not quite as glamorous as the Minnesota Thunder - David Beckham feat. the LA Galaxy circus I dragged her along to the last time I was in her neck of the woods but whatever, I digress. Midway through the second half she piped up with, 'There sure are a lot of Connollys on your team'. Menswear firm Connolly just happen to be one of our sponsors. There was much laughter.

I would also like to add the following:

"You can go to your match if you really want to"
"Would you let me cut/striaghten your hair?"
"Why won't you watch Sex In The City with me?"

Originally Posted by Sheridan

Many years ago I fended off the "do you think I'm putting on weight?" question only for it to be followed with a playful barrage of hypothetical questions. The last one was "Would you sacrifice me if everyone in Africa could eat for a year?" I responded, thinking it was very funny, "What are they going to do, feed you to them?"

I presume she didn't become Mr.Sheridan?

**Student Mullet** · 26/09/2008, 2:19 AM

I was shopping once for a jumper and I picked a large one up from the shelf. The bird went and found an XL one and suggested that it would fit me better. I thanked her for the implication but tried on the large one anyway. She told me that it was too clingy and didn't suite me. I answered, 'Aithnionn ciarog ciarog eile'. I think it's the wittiest thing I've ever said.

**Pauro 76** · 26/09/2008, 5:03 AM

Originally Posted by Student Mullet

I was shopping once for a jumper and I picked a large one up from the shelf. The bird went and found an XL one and suggested that it would fit me better. I thanked her for the implication but tried on the large one anyway. She told me that it was too clingy and didn't suite me. I answered, 'Aithnionn ciarog ciarog eile'. I think it's the wittiest thing I've ever said.

"Aithn�onn ciar�g ciar�g eile"

* Translation: "One beetle recognises another"
* Meaning: It takes one to know one; Like sees like

That's brilliant! Had to look that one up....

**paul_oshea** · 26/09/2008, 8:54 AM

when on holidays i got the "does this make me look fat?!" and I responded with the good aul bundy line "face it, its not the top that makes you look fat, its the fat that makes you look at!" and started laughing, luckily for me my girlfriend is used to me making jokes most of the time, so she didnt take it too badly - well after a bit of "ah ye know im only messing, its not my line, ive just wanted to say it for years etc etc etc". It was all good until we got home and that was hte first thing she told all her friends, except all our friends are friends so I got ear fulls from all of them.

**paul_oshea** · 26/09/2008, 8:57 AM

Originally Posted by Pauro 76

Ah she can be at times. she can be a really nice girl a lot of the time and then she'd just hit me with these daft questions. These questions have been fired over a period of a few months.

That has happened already. I've said she's got two chances, slim and none!

which one is this pauro? Ive lost track again. pauro the serial monogamist

**Pauro 76** · 26/09/2008, 9:04 AM

Originally Posted by paul_oshea

which one is this pauro? Ive lost track again. pauro the serial monogamist

Yes this is still the Spanish lass. We did break up twice, but she won me back again twice. I dunno, cant help but admire her persistence.

**Dodge** · 26/09/2008, 9:23 AM

The thing to realise about women si that they're different from us. They dream and plan and pay attention to the small details in every day life. We're lazy, we leave things to the last minute and we pay attention to lists, records and sports statistics. They don't get jokes and are far too sensitive. We're funny and we won't really care.

As long as you're willing to put up with the stoopidity of women, they have their good points. Mainly boobs. My missus is pretty decent. She hates football but understands I need it. She's pretty girly but she hates Sex & the City and doesn't cry about everything. In the grand scale of things, I'm doing alright

**Schumi** · 26/09/2008, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by Dodge

women, they have their good points. Mainly boobs. My missus is pretty decent.

Any pics?

**Battery Rover** · 26/09/2008, 11:07 AM

The one I got this morning before I left Limerick for Athlone was "What would you do if I died" My initial response was going to be "party" but replied that I would have to "bury" here and she walked out of the room and now 5 hours later she still hasn't called me (She usually calls me once every 5 minutes)