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Thread: Story time

  1. #81
    Seasoned Pro strangeirish's Avatar
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    ...oversee the installation of a new bar along with...
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  2. #82
    International Prospect Green Tribe's Avatar
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    introducing his new coaching assistant Sir Hamish who famously stated...

  3. #83
    Seasoned Pro strangeirish's Avatar
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    ...I'm gay, but Dunphy on the other hand...
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  4. #84
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    Popcorn break! the story so far...

    Two Shamrock Rovers fans were walking past Dalymount Park when all of a sudden a bus full of Orangemen, down for the Love Ulster parade pulled up. Charlie Bird runs to save himself and his favourite jacket but only runs as far as the 2 Rovers supporters who then pulled off their Rovers jersies to reveal UCD jerseys. Odd thought Charlie, I never knew UCD fans were as audacious as that. The last time UCD fans done anything daring was when they dressed as Supergrass and crashed the Trinity ball so as to get a platform where they could reveal to the world their evil plan, which was to begin breeding chickens with several breasts, which look a bit like Pat Scullys massive ears.

    But then, Pat Dolan arrived on his skateboard and said “I hear Roddy is working in McDonalds now, wanna go down and have six cheese burgers 3 Happy Meals 3 large chips and a litre of coke sorry make that Diet Coke?", but Roddy replied: "Pat, will you relax and just be yourself, here’s the number of someone who can help.” "How dare you", Pat shouted. "But I have Felix Healy's number already". Just then Damian Richardson walked in, carrying a goat. "Here Roddy, I know you've always wanted one so you can make a coat and tell everyone it is made from camel hair. You always were prone to exaggeration”.

    Just then Eddie Hobbs arrived. Dodge asks him to lob ( double entendre ) it in there boss, but it was deflected by the end of Pat Dolans waist coat, which incidently is one of 100 exact replicas he had made by using the skins from the fried chicken bucket passed around in the Setanta studio during games, a studio which also has an extra large fitting room especially for Pat to try on his waist coats, where he once swallowed an entire bull. He pulled out an M16 machine gun and gunned down everyone in McDonalds. On hearing this news, John Delaney sprang into action by issuing him with a 5000 fine which Eddie Hobbs said was a good idea, but what would that annoying Cork twit know about Money.

    He got straight on the phone to his fellow Cork man Danny LaRue, who said that the whole affair was frightfully old fashioned for a girl from glanmire, who prefers to be ridden rock solid by Damien Richardson and also Paul Doolin, whom he met in the barbers, where they discussed why they both hate having hairy backs, which brought them onto the subject of Limerick 37's proposed new 40,000 all seater stadium, which will be the first football stadium in the world to have an all-night strip bar, run by Roddy Collins, who also announced that he will replace Bobby Robson at the end of the Euro Campaign. At which point Roddy's mobile rang.

    It was Dermot Keely, who told Roddy to go buy a new car as Carlton Palmer had just stolen his Smart car from the local Nissan garage. He abandoned it and traded in for a Lamborghini. But even poor auld Carlton couldn’t look sexy in it, until he saw Maxi from Dundalk walking out of a petrol station singing ‘I didn't start the fire', unfortunately my matches were all soggy, what a b*tch!
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  5. #85
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    Popcorn break part deux...

    Meanwhile, Paul Doolin and Damian Richardson left the barber shop were they were confronted by Carlton Palmer losing control of his Lambourghini. He was heading head on into 3 clowns who answered to the names Giles, Dunphy and Brady, who were in a big hurry because Bill was having them round for tea. This unnerved them a bit because they weren't into fellatio, but howsanever, when in Rome go to see Roma and Juve which is exactly what Pat Dolans mother warned him not to do. Because, he might be mistaken for Pavarotti when the carb intake in those Italian meals mess up the work that Lipotrim was doing, not to mention the fact that Felix Healy's moustace, which has been used a few times to provide cover for Tolka park during downpours, which made Dermot Keely happy because school teachers usually have an affection for fellatio, which is probably going to get mentioned a lot in this thread because Pat wasn't too concerned with, due to a happy irregularity in the vertebrae in his back which allowed him to bend over backwards.

    Which is ironic, because that way he couldn't have sex with Eamonn Dunphy, who has a dog with three testicles called Nancy, which co-incidentally is also his lover, whom he met at football match in East Timor, while enjoying a Boyzone concert and who were supported on-stage by Irish football legend Joseph (I'm not a 70's porn star) Lapira. And while most people in the audience were there to watch the gig, there was one person high in the rafters with a high powered telescopic sighted rifle, who despite aiming for the ample torso of Dolan, kept on missing. But when you are Irish soccer , ahem, star Robbie Keane, it is no surprise when he looked behind and saw an_ceannaire giving Dunphy a blow job and Laughing Bill saying "okidoki an ceannaire , its all very well being friendly like that to Mr Dunphy, but what you have failed to notice is this is actually keeping Dunphy quiet”.

    And all of a sudden who walks in the door only Dickie Davis and Bob Wilson, looking for their careers back, but without any hope because an_ceannaire has become CEO of RTE and the FAI and had appointed Dunphy the manager of Ireland as well as the greatest ever pundit. Dunphy's first task is oversee the installation of a new bar along with introducing his new coaching assistant Sir Hamish who famously stated “I'm gay”, but Dunphy on the other hand…
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  6. #86
    Seasoned Pro Paddyfield's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by strangeirish View Post
    ... but Dunphy on the other hand...
    ...is asexual just like....
    Nobody knows us, we don't care

  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddyfield View Post
    ...is asexual just like....
    Graeme Le Saux the big puff who loves to....

  8. #88
    Seasoned Pro strangeirish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green Tribe View Post
    Graeme Le Saux the big puff who loves to....
    ...drive up the hershey highway and...
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  9. #89
    International Prospect Green Tribe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by strangeirish View Post
    ...drive up the hershey highway and...
    drive along the jeffrey coastline alongside Ballinasloe which is famous for its....

  10. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green Tribe View Post
    drive along the jeffrey coastline alongside Ballinasloe which is famous for its....
    ...piebald pony trade fair and...
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  11. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by strangeirish View Post
    ...piebald pony trade fair and...
    horse ****e along the pavements in early October! But it reminds me of a city in the south of the country.....

  12. #92
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    called Ork where they adore a guy who walked out on his country and preferred to go walking instead with his pet....
    Forget about the performance or entertainment. It's only the result that matters.

  13. #93
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    ... giraffe called Niall, which he jokingly called mother theresa, which had extraordinarly long....
    "I'm just a chilled out entertainer"

    Blog

  14. #94
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    Rosary beads which came in very handy when trying to...

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    Quote Originally Posted by the 12 th man View Post
    Rosary beads which came in very handy when trying to...
    choke John Delaney who loves to....

  16. #96
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    get steve staunton to comb his hair while down on his knee's giving.......

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    Quote Originally Posted by lim abroad View Post
    get steve staunton to comb his hair while down on his knee's giving.......
    ...Stan a shoe shine by the seashore, although...
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

  18. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by strangeirish View Post
    ...Stan a shoe shine by the seashore, although...
    he had to be quick to avoid the bullets Stan kept firing at his own feet.
    A man can have no greater love than give 90 minutes for his friends.

  19. #99
    First Team Tir Oilean's Avatar
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    ....John Delaney was lucky he wasnt hit in the head by the rebounding bullets but they did shear his hair badly so he had to go to the barbers (to get a haircut) where he met.....
    "Are those my feet" Fr Jack Hackett

  20. #100
    Seasoned Pro strangeirish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tir Oilean View Post
    ....John Delaney was lucky he wasnt hit in the head by the rebounding bullets but they did shear his hair badly so he had to go to the barbers (to get a haircut) where he met.....
    ...Stephen Ireland, who was there to give his hair back, suddenly...
    Did you ever notice that in every painting of Adam & Eve, they have belly buttons. Think about that...take as long as you want.

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