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A few of us sat down to watch one of the Alien trilogy a few weeks ago, think it was Aliens, and when the space ship passed by in the opening shot one of the girls asked was this a true story, I mean she had been smoking a bit alright, but ffs :o
Anyone got any stories they care to share?
from cobh here the great island...
sitting in kfc one day and my friend turns to us and says he'd hate to live on an island :O
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by MojoPin
jesus mojo we could go on all day.
Was sure this would be full of things I said. Phew! So far so safe.
Get some of the Galway lads to tell you bout the Fureyisims. Funny as hell.
I'm not allowed talk to them so you may aswell tell all :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Magicme
ill give one anyway.... meant to say ''same faces, differant places'' in relation to a flag and shouted ''same faces, differant people'':DQuote:
Originally Posted by Magicme
I wish I could remember them Jebus but then again am glad I cant or would be in St Davnets (the local hospital for the not so sound of mind) from laughing! Genuinely the funniest person I have ever met (and one of the sweetest!) is Mr Furey.
I was pointing out a picture in the paper of my cousin, to which my mate asks "Do you know him"?
my girlfriend asked my was dynamite real ....she taught it was just in movies.....or the best one ever dus anyone remember up in dublin a couple of yrs back...they found a deformed mans body in a suitcase....
my mate asked me did the man kill himself,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,dont know whether to laugh or cry
Oh god thats classic!
I was invited to mate's birthday, and there was a Harps game on the same night. So i met a few of them in the pub before the game and then told them "I'm off to the match and I'll be back in an hour & a half or so", then one of the girls said "Why are you gonna be that long, I thought football matches were only 90 min?" :rolleyes:
One I heard at the weekend went as follows:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magicme
"I'm an accountant, I don't deal with figures...only with numbers"
my sister comes out with some gems.
we were up in the neighbours house one christmas evening, we were there for about 7 or 8 hours ( providing us with loads of drink and food :D so we were only obliging ) and it was about 4 or 5 oclock in the morning, and the father in the house said something that included their surname in the sentence. My sister then went "oh is yourr surname O'byrne?!"
I nearly fell off the couch, I had to get up out of the room and laugh and the fella just looked at her and then at me and he was just totally confuddled.
While working in a former job , one of the lads , who felt that he was the only worker in the place ,screams at the supervisor to feck off and leave him alone that "he only had two pairs of hands."
People who say "are you okay?" after you've just impaled yourself/fallen down stairs/been hit by car or otherwise injured yourself and are very far from ok.
my sister has come up with some classics too...we were watchin TV at home a few years ago and some was talking about Moe Mowlam god rest her, the sister turns around and asks the oul fella "whos he"....we were also driving to a party one day, she must have been 19-20 at the time and there was a horse with a green shall thing on its back....she asks the parents "i didnt think they bred green horses round here"...serious as hell!
We were all sitting the house, flicking through the music channels when we came across Frank Sinatra singing My Way.
She proceeded to say of the video. "That was before he died, wasn't it".:o
thats exactly the kind of thing mine would say. Then realising the stupidity would try and make out she meant something like "oh it was released before he died and not remastered or something and then released"Quote:
She proceeded to say of the video. "That was before he died, wasn't it".
Was sitting in the girlfriends house one Sunday morning, before a GAA match and reading the Sunday papers. I was reading the section where they give the betting odds on the games and other events and I says , did you see that, its 10 to 1 that a streaker will run onto the pitch at Croke park today.
And she says, sure whats the point of that, the minor game doesn't start til half one.
I remember working on a till in a shop and telling the woman the price of her shopping, 43euro.
She then nodded and said okay without doing a thing before asking me was i alright?
I said 'ya, that's 43 euro please.'
After another silence she said 'ya, can I have it please?' before throwing her eyes up to the sky and saying 'Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me today.' and paying me.
Must have just finished a 24-hour shift in some shop.
A cousin of mine was sent down to the shops when she was young to buy a pound of mince and arrived home with a bag full of packets of mints. She's never been let forget it. :D
LOL
BTW has you niticed they're all women so far? No? Just me so...
Best I heard was a girl I used to work with who walked into a room when the news was on and her parents talked about Guerilla warfare.
"I know, making the poor animals fight instead of humans!"
Guerilla/Gorilla. She's 25 and has a steady job...
Just to redress the balance, a driver rang us at work one time wondering what time his load would be available, so I told him 6.
To which, and the emphasis is the key, he actually replied: "Six o'clock?" :D
Happened before Ted too. Hmmmm... Stop stealing my stories Matthews!
Not something that was said. Something that I done. My Dad being an avid gardener at the time used to gather the ashes from the fire as he reckoned they were very good as fertiliser. Well, when I was twelve years of age , the year I made my confirmation and as Psalm Sunday came near my Dad comes to me and tells me that the local priest needed ashes for mass on Sunday. He then proceeds to fill a wheelbarrow with the ashes and tells me to bring them to the priests house. Off I go, full of the grace of God and doing my bit for the parish, and arrive at the priests house with my contribution of ashes.I knock at the door and tell the priest that my Dad had told me that the parish required ashes for Sunday and showed him my wheelbarrow, at this point he starts laughing and advises me that he had enough ashes that I could bring them back to my Dad and thank him for brightening his day.:o:o:o
It was weeks later when I learned the story behind Psalm Sunday that I realised what my Dad had done.
I used to work with this fella who came out with some classics.We were talking about music one day and he said "Cat Stevens,Is that the bloke who became an Arab.":D
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magicme
Classic from the aforementioned Mr Furey.
We were at the Galway United Ball where Mario Rosenstock (Gift Grub) was doing impersonations of Roy Keane and Michael D etc.
Everyone was in stitches when Furey said: "Jayzus, he's priceless. I heard he charges five grand a night..."
i spotted a sign for a ''saturday market'' the last day in the car with a friend, to which he said ''we'll take a life out there on sunday'':D
also same fella>>...after telling the lads that, they told me of further events...
while playing a card game he had the cards in his hand but was flicking through them instead of having them fan'd out, my friend grew impatient and told him to spread them out to save time to which he replied...
''look im left handed''.... followed by how he had left-handed cards at home:D:D
also another friends EX>> we were playing ''who wants to be a millionaire'' on the PS before and she got a Q wrong was about a city anyway i poined out something to which she said ''ya it wasnt stockholm either sure thats in england''
My Dad was asked to run down to the shops by his teacher and get "five singles" after being handed a 5 pound note. My Dad came back with 5 bags of chips and the change :D No idea if it's true but my Mam insists it is
When my wee brother was really young, about 3, I remember him pointing to the attached photo on a bottle of syrup and asking if it was a monster.
2 weeks ago, a friend of mine was in Preston in England. He was in a bar and got talking to a girl, who asked how he got there. He said he flew from Derry to Liverpool then got the train to Preston. The girl looked confused, and said 'what?'. He repeated this, and again the girl asked 'what?'. Again he repeated. The girl, still looking confused, then asked 'Do you have planes in Ireland?'. My friend didn't know what to say, and after a silence said 'yes. we have planes and airports'. The girl replied 'I did not know that. I thought you all had boats just.'
I've had trouble myself trying to convince Americans that we really do have electricity and running water and TV in Ireland. It boggles my mind to think that people can think we can't afford running water, but somehow we can afford a flight to the other side of the world.
Sure think of all the money we'd save if we DIDN'T have running water! We'd be able to afford the flight back.Quote:
Originally Posted by brendy_éire
The old obvious one:
* When you have lost something & looking for it when you are asked "where did you last have it?" Well if I... :rolleyes:
Sarcasm always catches out foreigners especially Americans. We were talking about royalty recently at work & for short while convinced a Spanish girl (she is old enough to know better) that there hasn't been an Irish King since the last King of the Leprechauns :D
was talking about my upcoming holiday at work yesterday and i said im hoping to go to barcelona to take in a game, and one of the girls said "yeah? bayern munich play there dont they?"
Guy in the office asked if Pearl Harbour was in Singapore. :eek:
He has been getting stick from everyone for the last 2 weeks & it will not go away until find me victim :D
Standing beside David Hasselhoff at security at Dublin airport late last year.
He asked the woman in front of him in the queue: "Hey - do you have computers over here?"
You just reminded me of a my first time in USA in 1997. I was in NY on the lash with a friend. I got talking to a young lady (white trainers, t shirt with "37" embroidered on it, perfect white teeth, blonde ponytail, big earrings....get the picture?) when I mentioned that I saw someone I knew on the footpath. The converstaion turned into a comparison of Irish and American phrases: foothpath/sidewalk, rubbish/trash, carpark/parking lott etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by brendy_éire
I told her that we say "Choo Choo" in Ireland whereas the Americans call it "trains" and that Irish police are called "Cops". She was astonished and she told all of her friends. One of them asked me do Irish police cars have the word "Cops" printed on them.
A mate looking at a picture of David Bowie in full Ziggy Stardust costume "that bird has a camels toe"
One of my mates rings his house:
"Mam, are you at home"?
:D:DQuote:
Originally Posted by NeilMcD