Comedy Club Notes

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13/10/2005, 11:55 PM
Unreal Madrid

Comedy Club Notes

Right , now that Karl Spain has found a women, step forward the unbiased :rolleyes: writers of club notes that appear in the Limerick Leader on wednesday nights. Sad life but I had a quick read and never laughed so much. It's fine when your reading club notes for 1 team but when 2 teams that have played each other post notes, well you could not believe they were watching the same game. This week we had the epic encounter of Herbertstown V Weston Villa in the FAI. At half time the score was 4 0 to the country boys.

Herberts Notes: (3rd Goal)
''A goal of the season contender from Pat Dooley who turned like a ballerina 30th yards from goal and unleashed a thunderbolt of a shot into the top left hand corner.''
What a goal and Westons notes,
''We conceded a soft goal before half time which can only be attributed to our poor play'' :confused:

Westons Notes:
''At half time a rousing speech from player manager Cyril Ryan was to lift the lads to put in the best second half witnessed in Herbertstown for many a long time. (The second half ended 1 1!!!)

Herberts Notes:
The second half was a dull affair with plenty of goal mouth action in the Weston end and the occasional loose ball into our area.

Quote (or dig) of the day went to Weston who posted,
''Training Wed night in The Crescent Comp 9 - 10. All players who stayed in bed Sunday morning are also asked to attend'' :) Ouch.
14/10/2005, 9:46 AM
Roadend

Do they still do them? I thought the funniest notes ever were Southend's notes. Whenever he played, without fail, they always gave a mention about how well Anthony Kelly played, despite the fact he was obviously rubbish.
14/10/2005, 3:03 PM
3 Heroes

Wouldn't it be better to have the club notes on here rather than in the leader/chronicle
14/10/2005, 3:15 PM
water boy

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3 Heroes

Wouldn't it be better to have the club notes on here rather than in the leader/chronicle

not every one has access to internet.
14/10/2005, 7:52 PM
abbeyvale

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roadend

Do they still do them? I thought the funniest notes ever were Southend's notes. Whenever he played, without fail, they always gave a mention about how well Anthony Kelly played, despite the fact he was obviously rubbish.

You should read Turlogh Mc's for the Dines
15/10/2005, 8:28 PM
Unreal Madrid

Quote:

Originally Posted by abbeyvale

You should read Turlogh Mc's for the Dines

Turlogh did for ''fruitless corner'' what Soccer am did for ''bouncebackability''. I think about 7 years ago the dines lost a game and actually did not deserve to win:D . In fairness, he puts other clubs to shame, legend.
15/10/2005, 10:10 PM
Bonovox

What about Turloghs "fairly bulged the net"........I think its time clubs realised that soccer sells the local papers. Clubs hastily offer up results, reports, club notes etc and get sh*te treatment back from the Limerick Loser. I mean, who gives a sh*te about a 21st birthday party at the CIE Club or elsewhere but its deemed important enough by the "Limerick Loser" to warrant a middle page spread!! Ask yourself how many clubs depend on sponsorship and the goodwill of people to survive, yet when they go to the Limerick Loser and ask for some coverage for these sponsors they are consistently snubbed. Lets tell Mr Laddy in the Limerick Loser to stump up for the copyright or extend his miserable little publication to a celebration of all things good about 21st Birthdays et al.
Its time for local soccer clubs to get smarter about how they provide the life blood for these rags. Lets get them to pay the piper or we stop playing their tune.....................
20/10/2005, 11:37 AM
francesco_1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roadend

Do they still do them? I thought the funniest notes ever were Southend's notes. Whenever he played, without fail, they always gave a mention about how well Anthony Kelly played, despite the fact he was obviously rubbish.

Well anthony could make runs up and down the flanks with the ball coz everybody was afraid to tackle him
22/10/2005, 8:27 PM
abbeyvale

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonovox

What about Turloghs "fairly bulged the net"........I think its time clubs realised that soccer sells the local papers. Clubs hastily offer up results, reports, club notes etc and get sh*te treatment back from the Limerick Loser. I mean, who gives a sh*te about a 21st birthday party at the CIE Club or elsewhere but its deemed important enough by the "Limerick Loser" to warrant a middle page spread!! Ask yourself how many clubs depend on sponsorship and the goodwill of people to survive, yet when they go to the Limerick Loser and ask for some coverage for these sponsors they are consistently snubbed. Lets tell Mr Laddy in the Limerick Loser to stump up for the copyright or extend his miserable little publication to a celebration of all things good about 21st Birthdays et al.
Its time for local soccer clubs to get smarter about how they provide the life blood for these rags. Lets get them to pay the piper or we stop playing their tune.....................

Maybe we should get Touglough Mc up to one of Hill Celtics games and give a half time write up on Toldo's clown antics!!!!!
You never know he might give him a good write up!!!!!!
25/10/2005, 8:48 PM
francesco_1

Quote:

Originally Posted by abbeyvale

Maybe we should get Touglough Mc up to one of Hill Celtics games and give a half time write up on Toldo's clown antics!!!!!
You never know he might give him a good write up!!!!!!

I keep my clown antic's for during the game only.....u jealous abbeyvale coz i got more skill then ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
26/10/2005, 5:48 PM
abbeyvale

Quote:

Originally Posted by francesco_1

I keep my clown antic's for during the game only.....u jealous abbeyvale coz i got more skill then ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skill??? You and skill just can't be metntioned in the same sentance, unless of course it's you that writes that sentance.

Again, like I said before, self praise, is no praise
27/10/2005, 1:08 AM
francesco_1

Quote:

Originally Posted by abbeyvale

Skill??? You and skill just can't be metntioned in the same sentance, unless of course it's you that writes that sentance.

Again, like I said before, self praise, is no praise

I make ronaldinho look like steve staunton,i make c.ronaldo look like gary neville
27/10/2005, 1:19 AM
the only 1

Quote:

Originally Posted by francesco_1

I make ronaldinho look like steve staunton,i make c.ronaldo look like gary neville

think u got them backwards:D
27/10/2005, 4:44 AM
lim abroad

Quote:

Originally Posted by francesco_1

I make ronaldinho look like steve staunton,i make c.ronaldo look like gary neville

you perform makeovers???
27/10/2005, 8:58 AM
shannonsider69

Hahahahaha...classic!
27/10/2005, 9:06 AM
Spudd

Quote:

Originally Posted by lim abroad

you perform makeovers???

:D :D :D :D
01/11/2005, 10:12 AM
francesco_1

Quote:

Originally Posted by lim abroad

you perform makeovers???

Yep it's a jenny jones thing very popular in eastern europe
10/11/2005, 9:20 PM
HuRya

im sorry but this has to take the biscuit. i spotted this in Wednesdays Limerick Leader.
Weston Villa's club notes:
"On Sunday morning we played hosts to a strong Hospital XI. On a very heavy pitch that would have been deemed unplayable were it not for some fantastic work from Mr Weston Villa, Kevin O'Dwyer....we started this game with heads still on pillows and conceeded a soft goal within 2 minutes of the kick off. The warning of the early goal was obviously not heeded as we conceeded again, and within 10 minutes were to find ourselves 2-0 behind.
.....
The management would ask that players turn up at the agreed meeting time for future matches".

Priceless!:) :) :)
14/11/2005, 10:01 AM
francesco_1

Quote:

Originally Posted by HuRya

im sorry but this has to take the biscuit. i spotted this in Wednesdays Limerick Leader.
Weston Villa's club notes:
"On Sunday morning we played hosts to a strong Hospital XI. On a very heavy pitch that would have been deemed unplayable were it not for some fantastic work from Mr Weston Villa, Kevin O'Dwyer....we started this game with heads still on pillows and conceeded a soft goal within 2 minutes of the kick off. The warning of the early goal was obviously not heeded as we conceeded again, and within 10 minutes were to find ourselves 2-0 behind.
.....
The management would ask that players turn up at the agreed meeting time for future matches".

Priceless!:) :) :)

For the record thomas hussey is writing the clubs notes for weston,so watch out when he scores a tap in it reads on the paper as 25 yard rocket
18/11/2005, 6:43 PM
progress

tom hussey the legend.
22/11/2005, 12:00 AM
francesco_1

Quote:

Originally Posted by progress

tom hussey the legend.

He sure is,listen to his holiday tales there fair funny
19/01/2006, 1:17 PM
HuRya

Quote:

Originally Posted by progress

tom hussey the legend.

another classic from tom in this week's Weston Villa club notes-

"Missing a few of our first 11 due to injury and suspension we were left with a skeleton crew for this encounter (against St Patricks).We started the game with 10 men and fought very hard for possession on a difficult playing surface.
The arrival of our centre half 15 minutes into the game gave us a touch of added zest and we put the boys from the Well under an intense spell of pressure.This culminated in the award of a penalty kick 30 minutes into the game following a rampaging run into the box by Leonard Moore.
His brother Phillip normally cool in these situations stepped up to take the resultant spot kick but the heavy pitch was to be the villain of the piece and his shot curled narrowly wide in the heavy mud.
As things stand at present we are in serious danger of relegation. We as a club would ask players to put social lives on hold for a few weeks and show their commitment to the cause.":)