Film quotes

just reading on another thread someone quoted a line from a film.

thought i might get a few peoples opinions on their favourite/best film quotes.

i personally think overall dumb n dumber ( watched it about 15 times and is easily as funny if not funnier the more you watch it ) has the best quotes some real classics. just a few to get ye started of the top of my head:

Lloyd Christmas: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry Dunne: No, none taken.

Lloyd Christmas: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry Dunne: I was thinking the same thing.
Lloyd Christmas: That John Denver is full of ****, man.

Lloyd Christmas: Mary... I desperately want to make love to a school-boy.

Lloyd Christmas: That's a lovely accent...New Jersey?
Lady at bus stop: It's Austrian.
Lloyd Christmas: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Lady at bus stop: Let's not.

Lloyd Christmas: wanna hear the most annoying song in the world??

finally: knock knock at door ( man with gun in hand )
Lloyd Christmas: did you forget to pay the gas bill??
Harry Dunne: ya sorry.
Lloyd Christmas: do you realise what you've done????

:D :D :D

The commitments:

'I'm black and I'm proud' (and the look on the 2 kids faces is hilarious!!)

[after Lloyd trades the van in for a moped]
Harry Dunne: Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

Pulp Fiction. All of it.
Some personal favs:

"Check out the big brain on Braad"
"Ezekiel 25:17"
"To Be Continued"
"Did you see a sign outside the door"
"Le Big Mac"
"Don't be a " (draws a square)
"Zed's dead baby"
" It's not a motorcycle, baby, it's a chopper"

Quote:

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Harry Dunne: Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

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ya another great one i was going to put in but didnt want to fill the whole page.

Jane: i hear police work is dangerous
Lt Frank Drebin: Yes it is, thats why I carry a big gun.

Lt Frank Drebin: Like a blind man at an orgy, I'm going to have to feel things up.

Lt Frank Drebin: Like a miget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Hapsburg (holding the gun): Any last requests Drebin?
Lt Frank Drebin: Yes, can I have the gun?

Rocco Dillon: The games up Drebin ..
Lt Frank Drebin: Mind if I take the underwear out of my crack, a man's gotta go comfortable.

Lt Frank Drebin (To Nordburgs wife): and not one man on the force will rest until we catch these guys that did this (to Capt Hocken) now, lets get a bite to eat


Top Gun:
And if you screw this up, just this much.... you'll be flying a cargo hold of rubber dog **** out of Hong Kong !

Cool hand Luke
"Gentleman,what we have here is failure to communicate"

Goodfellas
"funny how"

Resevior dogs
"lets go get a taco"
"are you gonna bark all day little doggie,or are you gonna bite"

Apocalypse now
"the horror"

Mafia
the don "whats that"
the dons son "it's a sign,it means little jimmy sleeps with the fishes"
the don "What.......good looking boy like that could have any girl he wants....Still,i hope he's using protection"

Quote:

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Gentleman,what we have here is failure to communicate

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its the same thing we had here last week.

hehe this is quite famous of course

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jules in Pulp Fiction

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

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'You're gonna need a bigger boat'.

"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy"

Mickey O'Neil: J'like dags?

Jimmy: " Look, I don't wanna be the same as everybody else. That's why I'm a Mod, see?"

"I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Malby

'You're gonna need a bigger boat'.

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Sh1t can't remember the film - help!!!!

What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard target search, of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.

the film is jaws. its a good one.

the last one is from the fugitive me thinks, and quadraphine great film gustavo.

think but not sure the other one is donnie darko

The boat one is from Jaws.

What's that last one Gustavo posted, I remember it and I'm certain I saw the film recently.

"Im funny how?i mean funny like im a clown?, i amuse you?"


which is also my message tone on my mobile

"All i have in this world are my balls, and my word. And i dont break them for nobody."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by paul_oshea

the film is jaws. its a good one.

the last one is from the fugitive me thinks, and quadraphine great film gustavo.

think but not sure the other one is donnie darko

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Yes Jaws. How about this one -

'Next stop, Ireland.'

"You talking to me?", Robert De Niro, "Taxi Driver."

"Hereeeeeeeeee's Johnny"

They had the AFI's top 100 quotes on tv last night, the number 1 was "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn".

Bobby: I had my first wet dream in a sleepin' bag.
Ed: How was it?
Bobby: Great.
[pause]
Bobby: There's no repeatin' it.

Deliverance (Classic Movie!!)

Anything from Dr. Strangelove.

And a classic Eastwood one:
"Well, are you just goin' stand there whistling Dixie?"

Withnail & I
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!

Monty you terrible cu*t!

We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now!

A coward you are, Withnail! An expert on bulls you are not!

I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head
I want something's flesh.

For more see here
http://www.withnail-links.com/quotes-withnail.htm

Anchorman

"The Skeleton dropped his shampoo in the shower"
"You smell like the inside of a prostetic leg"
"The human torch was denied a bank loan"

Kevin Smith's 'Clerks' on star Wars

RANDAL: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it (the Death Star). I could never put my finger on it, something just wasn't right.

DANTE: And you figured it out?

RANDAL: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries; the only people onboard were Imperials.

DANTE: Basically.

RANDAL: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.

DANTE: And the second time around...?

RANDAL: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.

DANTE: So?

RANDAL: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.

DANTE: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.

RANDAL: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

DANTE: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?

RANDAL: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed-casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.
All right, look; you're a roofer,and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia, this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.

Harry Callahan:

I know what you're thinking: "Did he fire six shots, or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya punk?

Monk in the Holy Grail:

And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three.

Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.

Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

hehe Donnie Darko:

Donnie: - "You are such a ****ass"
Sister: - "Did you just call me a ****ass? You can go suck a ****"
Donnie - "Oh please, tell me, how exactly does one suck a ****?"

Also, it's horribly racist but typical of the trade of insults that can happen around the schoolyard. They all just stand there tearing each other's dignity apart.

"Go back to China, bitch!"

Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Attendee: Brought peace?
Reg: Oh, peace -- shut up!
Reg: There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.
Dissenter: Uh, well, one.
Reg: Oh, yeah, yeah, there's one. But otherwise, we're solid.

=========================

Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: **** off! We're the People's Front of Judea

=========================

Reg: If you want to join the 'People's Front of Judea', you have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!
Reg: Oh yeah, how much?
Brian: A lot!
Reg: Right, you're in.

========================

EX-LEPER: Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
BRIAN: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?
EX-LEPER: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
BRIAN: Well, what happened?
EX-LEPER: I was cured, sir.
BRIAN: Cured?
EX-LEPER: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.
BRIAN: Who cured you?
EX-LEPER: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.' Bloody do-gooder.
BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
EX-LEPER: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir,

"guys ...you've put a greased, naked woman on all fours ...with a dog-leash round her neck and a mans hand shoving a glove in her face ....and you can't see why people think that's sexist?!?!?!"

Quote:

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"guys ...you've put a greased, naked woman on all fours ...with a dog-leash round her neck and a mans hand shoving a glove in her face ....and you can't see why people think that's sexist?!?!?!"

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ya but this amp goes all the way up to 12.... :D

this is spinal tap. didnt think it was great overall though in fairness.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dublinharp

Monk in the Holy Grail:

And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three.

Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.

Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

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we are the knights who say ni ni ni
and we demand ........... a shrubbery.

King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy advisary.
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off.
Black Knight: No it isn't.
King Arthur: What's that, then?
Black Knight: [after a pause] I've had worse.
King Arthur: You liar.
Black Knight: Come on ya pansy.

Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
The Dead Collector: He hasn't got **** all over him.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by paul_oshea

ya but this amp goes all the way up to 12.... :D

this is spinal tap. didnt think it was great overall though in fairness.

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It takes repeated watchings to let it get under the skin. it also helps if you're in a band ...in which case it eventually becomes your bible, your thesaurus and your day-to-day reference point and design for life. :cool:

Okay different movie that also takes a couple of watches but then becomes utterly compelling....

"Alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm!!!!!!"

"Your job is unfair to you? Grow up, way it goes. People use you? Life's unfair? Grow up, way it goes. Your girlfriend doesn't love you? Tough ****, way it goes. Your wife gets raped and shot, and they leave their unfinished beers... stinking longnecks just lying there on the... So be it, way it goes.
"

The big lebowski

The Dude: God damn you Walter! You ****in' *******! Everything's a ****in' travesty with you, man! And what was all that **** about Vietnam? What the ****, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the **** are you talking about?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the **** is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
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The Dude: Look, just stay away from my ****ing lady friend.
Da Fino, Private Snoop: Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.
The Dude: She's not my special lady, she's my ****ing lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive.
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The Dude: Well, they finally did it. They killed my ****ing car.
Nihilist: Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.
Nihilist #2: Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.
Nihilist #3: Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.
The Dude: You don't HAVE the ****ing girl, dip****s! We know you never did!
[the Nihilists, stunned, confer amongst themselves in German]
Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Nihilist: Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve **** you up.
Walter Sobchak: **** you. **** the three of you.
The Dude: Hey, cool it Walter.
Walter Sobchak: No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the ****ing rules.
Nihilist #2: His girlfriend gave up her toe!
Nihilist #3: She though we'd be getting million dollars!
Nihilist #2: Iss not fair!
Walter Sobchak: Fair! WHO'S THE ****ING NIHILIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF ****ING CRYBABIES?
The Dude: Hey, cool it Walter. Look, pal, there never was any money. The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with him, man.
Walter Sobchak: And, I would like my undies back.
[Stunned, the Germans confer amongst themselves again]
Donny: Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny. These men are cowards.
Nihilist: Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen.
Walter Sobchak: **** you.
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[being forced into a limousine]
The Dude: Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
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The Dude: ****in' Quintana... that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter Sobchak: No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh!
Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
Donny: What's a... pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the **** up, Donny.
Jesus Quintana: You ready to be ****ed man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna **** you up.
The Dude: Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy **** with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the ****ing trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus Quintana: You said it man. Nobody ****s with the Jesus.
Walter Sobchak: Eight year-olds, Dude.
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The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Walter Sobchak: That ****ing bitch...
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: shut the **** up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Illanich Uleninov!

Fear and loathing in Las Vegas
Narrator: We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like:
Raoul Duke: I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.
Narrator: Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full with what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming:
Raoul Duke: Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?!
Dr. Gonzo: Did you say something?
Raoul Duke: Hm? Nevermind. It's your turn to drive.
Narrator: No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bas**rd will see them soon enough.
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Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bas**rd chase you. He will follow.
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There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Happy: Haha....send him home. I just send him home. Time to go home there, ball. (Happy putts) Son of a bitch ball! Why didn't you just go home! Are you to good for your home? Answer me!

Grandma Gilmore: Sir, could I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me get to sleep.
Nursing Home Attendant: You could trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up. Now you will go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag, you're in my world now Grandma.
Grandma Gilmore: Oh dear.


Class film that!

"You complete me" from Jerry Maguire. The (cough) wife loves that. ;)